Anonymous wrote:I do everything with five children with no babysitters or cleaners or other help. Not sure why you can't figure this out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of three kids (ages 7,4,1) and am going to be taking time away from my career for a variety of reasons I won’t get into. I expect that will happen this summer or by the fall for the next school year - kids would be 7.5, 4.5 and 1.5.

I have always worked full time and had a nanny. I would love to hear from stay at home moms of bigger families how you structure your day. Specific questions:

- do you have any part time childcare for toddlers at home to give you time to do chores like cooking, or to take time for yourself like exercising?
- what do mornings look like? Right now my nanny and I tackle mornings together before work, and I drop my older two kids off at school before work. So she actually doesn’t handle the morning routine for all 3 at once.
- after school activities: do you try to get your older kids to do activities in the same place? Do you all go together to after school activities and hang out waiting for the other?
- when is dinner cooked while you’re taking care of all three kids? Do you meal prep or let them play while you cook?
- how do you help older kids with homework while watching a toddler? Right now I wait until my husband is home from work so one of us can do homework with our oldest while the other watches the baby. Wondering if it’s possible to get homework out of the way earlier in the day.

Any other considerations or tips to stay organized?

I am sort of embarrassed to ask these questions, but I’ve always had my nanny for a few extra hours so I could have time to either exercise, cook, do laundry or run errands. I don’t plan to have a nanny if I’m not working but am open to a very part time sitter for some support.

it's been years for me, but i was a SAHM for 5+ years when my kids were in that age range. They're preteens nd teens now. It sounds like the middle one is in preschool, which is great. That would be my first suggestion.

Morning routine: Mornings will be hard at first, but then you'll find the routine. Have a go-to easy breakfast plan (think pan of scrambled eggs and oatmeal packets, or english muffin with cream cheese and apple slices, that kind of thing... healthy but easy). Create morning checklists for the 2 older kids (use pictures for the middle one who's probably not reading yet). Hang them in the kitchen or bathroom, and include a step by step of their day -- get dressed and put PJs in hamper, sit for breakfast, put dishes in sink, brush teeth, etc.). Maybe include a sticker reward if they do their routine well. The idea is to train them to do as much as they can without your help. Also helpful is laying out the outfit the night before and having a place where all backpacks, water bottles, coats, and school shoes go each evening so they can be grabbed easily in the morning. It also helps to get up before everyone else and do what you need to do (quick workout? shower? make coffee?). It can also help to have a place to keep the 1-year old still if you need to attend to other things -- could be a high chair with a little activity like one I used to do was to tape contact paper to their high chair and give them tissue paper to tear and stick on it or pom poms to make "art." Or a pack and play where they sit with some toys.

Part-time childcare: we were on a fairly tight budget, but I did pay a sitter for a few hours a week to go exercise. I think this is worth it for whatever you need to time for to keep your mental health in check.

After-school activities: I used to take them all to each other's things. Sometimes it's easy like a ballet place that had a nice play area with books and toys for siblings or a soccer practice at a park with a playground. Other times it's more of a headache, but always carry a bag with snacks, board books, crayons/stickers/etc., maybe a little card game you can play like spot it, etc.

Dinner: I used to make dinner with all three underfoot, or sometimes DH was home. If he wasn't home KEEP IT EASY. Do not be ambitious here. When they're all school aged you can go back to better meals lol. Pasta with jarred sauce, steam broccoli and add butter. Put a packet of premade seasoning on chicken breasts, bake and serve with couscous and peas. Easy sides- sliced apples or oranges, jarred applesauce, yogurt, milk, frozen peas add butter, cucumber slices with hummus, steam broccoli or cauliflower and butter or sprinkle with Parmesan. If you can afford it, get some prepped meals like soups and fresh baked bread from whole foods or lasagna from your local Italian place. If you can make ahead meals on weekends definitely do that. I really like having a weekly meal plan becaus it takes the mental work out (Monday chicken and couscous with veggies and hummus, Tuesday tacos and guacamole, Wednesday bean burgers and oven fries with applesauce, thursday pasta marinara and italian salad, Friday soups from the store with fresh bread, saturday order pizza etc), If you give the kids TV time each day, this is a good time to turn on a show. If you want to save it for other things or don't do screens, have on-hand busy activities for the 1 year old (can put them in a pack and play in the kitchen with an activity if they're a mover). Easy sensory activities like high chair with shaving cream or play doh to play with. Or a couple plastic bowls with dried rice and beans and they can scoop and mix.

Homework: until DC can do it without help, I'd continue to leave this until DH gets home. If you inject stress into the HW process, DC could push back, so Id stick with what's working. You can try to have DC do it on their own earlier then work through parts where help is needed when DH gets home as a compromise. This could set DC on a path for getting it done independently in the future.

Good luck. I miss those days so much. It's hard but after a couple months, you'll get into routines that work for you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The 7.5 would be in school full time and the 4.5 in school either part of full time. Will you be doing all the pick ups and drop offs or will they be taking the bus?

My 4.5 year old will be in a private prek so no bussing yet. My 7.5 year old is TBD - we are actually in the process of switching their school for next year so they will either be local (with a bus option) or at a private school without a bus option, which would be more logistically complicated.

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of three kids (ages 7,4,1) and am going to be taking time away from my career for a variety of reasons I won’t get into. I expect that will happen this summer or by the fall for the next school year - kids would be 7.5, 4.5 and 1.5.

I have always worked full time and had a nanny. I would love to hear from stay at home moms of bigger families how you structure your day. Specific questions:

- do you have any part time childcare for toddlers at home to give you time to do chores like cooking, or to take time for yourself like exercising?
- what do mornings look like? Right now my nanny and I tackle mornings together before work, and I drop my older two kids off at school before work. So she actually doesn’t handle the morning routine for all 3 at once.
- after school activities: do you try to get your older kids to do activities in the same place? Do you all go together to after school activities and hang out waiting for the other?
- when is dinner cooked while you’re taking care of all three kids? Do you meal prep or let them play while you cook?
- how do you help older kids with homework while watching a toddler? Right now I wait until my husband is home from work so one of us can do homework with our oldest while the other watches the baby. Wondering if it’s possible to get homework out of the way earlier in the day.

Any other considerations or tips to stay organized?

I am sort of embarrassed to ask these questions, but I’ve always had my nanny for a few extra hours so I could have time to either exercise, cook, do laundry or run errands. I don’t plan to have a nanny if I’m not working but am open to a very part time sitter for some support.