Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, academic giftedness doesn’t always translate to financial success. The most financially successful member of my family is someone who is smart but most importantly has a high EQ.

For example, my nephew is autistic. Went to a top northeast private. Perfect SAT score. Scholarship to an IV. For PhD, got offered scholarship to Cal-tech, Stanford and two Ivies. Currently doing PhD in physics at one of the schools after taking some time off. At 29, he has never had a girlfriend. The world outside of academics is pretty confusing them. Their mother, who is on the spectrum as well, but less pronounced was academically gifted but not at her son’s level - she learned 3 languages within an 3 her span with ease. But, guess what, suffers severe depression, anxiety and is bipolar. An impulse spender, is unable to manage her finances, gets overwhelmed easily and therefore unable to keep a job. Older sibling manages her finances to keep her from going homeless. I’ll be honest, her mental health struggles has been like a sentence to those close to her, as she is an extremely stressful person to deal with on a regular basis. She’s mid 50s.

Is she divorced? When

Yes, she is divorced. She’s had only two romantic relationships. The first one at 18, the second mid-20’s. She’s been single for a very long time and has no particular interest in pursuing a romantic relationship. She loves staying home, reading and going out to do her hair

Again, what’s wrong with that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because our 3yo DS was just diagnosed with autism. While part of me is worried that he won't fit in socially when he goes to school, another part of me is relieved that he will undoubtedly excel effortlessly, as autism tends to come with academic giftedness. He'll probably graduate high school in the top 1% of his class and go to a T20 college. I know I can't change the fact that he has autism, but I still can't help wondering if his academic and financial success will make his social challenges worth-it.

Maybe he will be smart enough to tell you that one does not graduate an educational institution but one is graduated from an educational institution.

The way it is commonly said in the US is that someone graduated from an educational institution. "Lauren graduated from Stanford." No "is" included.

Only your son can tell you if it’s worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because our 3yo DS was just diagnosed with autism. While part of me is worried that he won't fit in socially when he goes to school, another part of me is relieved that he will undoubtedly excel effortlessly, as autism tends to come with academic giftedness. He'll probably graduate high school in the top 1% of his class and go to a T20 college. I know I can't change the fact that he has autism, but I still can't help wondering if his academic and financial success will make his social challenges worth-it.

I haven't read all the responses, but I think that is good you are trying to look at the positives that may come from your child's disability! We often hear SO MANY negatives, that it can be helpful to try and explore the positives

Autism Spectrum Disorder is just that - a wide spectrum. Medically, there is "Level 1 - low support needs, level 2- moderate support needs, level 3- high support needs". While SOME autistic individuals ARE gifted cognitively, ASD is also often co-occurring with an intellectual disability, ADHD, anxiety, or a specific learning disability. Some autistic individuals are non-verbal, while others are highly verbal and develop the ability to "mask" to try and blend into social situations (which is exhausting). Some questions for you to consider (you don't need to answer here) is:

- Who diagnosed Autism? Has he/she had a full psychological and autism evaluation? The "gold star" for assessing Autism is the ADOS/ADI - it's a two part process where the child undergoes a structured autism interview and the parent completes an autism interview. Were you able to find out some cognitive results? Adaptive functioning? Speech? Those are important pieces, but I will also add that cognitive testing is not super accurate at 3 years old, so you would want to get them re-evaluated within 3 years.

-If your child has not undergone a thorough evaluation, where you can get a good baseline understanding of where their strengths and needs are right now, I would start there either privately or through your local school system.

- I would review what services are recommended through whatever testing was done and get your child on all the "wait-lists" for Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy, ABA therapy, and join a parenting support group to learn more and connect with other parents. Your child may not need all of those services, but those are often the ones that are initially explored.

I have an autistic child (level 1) who also has ADHD and is mildly gifted "AuDHD". My child is now in 5th grade and while they are getting straight As in school, their disability impacts them A LOT and it's been a really hard journey. They have struggled so much behaviorally at school and home, they are often bored at school and are not challenged in a way that works for them, they have struggled so, so, so much with friendships and sibling/family interactions and we are constantly trying to support them with their mental health; they are at super high risk for serious mental health concerns as they begin to navigate adolescence. They have the POTENTIAL for incredible success, but getting there is a really, hard path. I honestly think my child who has ADHD and a specific learning disability, but is NOT gifted or autistic, will have a much easier path getting through school and getting into a college/career than my older child.

I really encourage you to dive into the supports that you can and ALWAYS celebrate your child's wonderful strengths, but it's a journey and best taken one step at a time.

That part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, academic giftedness doesn’t always translate to financial success. The most financially successful member of my family is someone who is smart but most importantly has a high EQ.

For example, my nephew is autistic. Went to a top northeast private. Perfect SAT score. Scholarship to an IV. For PhD, got offered scholarship to Cal-tech, Stanford and two Ivies. Currently doing PhD in physics at one of the schools after taking some time off. At 29, he has never had a girlfriend. The world outside of academics is pretty confusing them. Their mother, who is on the spectrum as well, but less pronounced was academically gifted but not at her son’s level - she learned 3 languages within an 3 her span with ease. But, guess what, suffers severe depression, anxiety and is bipolar. An impulse spender, is unable to manage her finances, gets overwhelmed easily and therefore unable to keep a job. Older sibling manages her finances to keep her from going homeless. I’ll be honest, her mental health struggles has been like a sentence to those close to her, as she is an extremely stressful person to deal with on a regular basis. She’s mid 50s.

Is she divorced? When

Yes, she is divorced. She’s had only two romantic relationships. The first one at 18, the second mid-20’s. She’s been single for a very long time and has no particular interest in pursuing a romantic relationship. She loves staying home, reading and going out to do her hair

You are extremely naive. I like you positivity though. Many kids with autism are extremely intelligent, however, they don’t have the social skills to go to a college environment. Too much anxiety. My nephew is brilliant but works at a grocery store because he can’t even handle a stranger saying hello to him. My dad also had autism. Brilliant, but massive learning disabilities and didn’t go to a great college. Excelled at his career.

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because our 3yo DS was just diagnosed with autism. While part of me is worried that he won't fit in socially when he goes to school, another part of me is relieved that he will undoubtedly excel effortlessly, as autism tends to come with academic giftedness. He'll probably graduate high school in the top 1% of his class and go to a T20 college. I know I can't change the fact that he has autism, but I still can't help wondering if his academic and financial success will make his social challenges worth-it.

I haven't read all the responses, but I think that is good you are trying to look at the positives that may come from your child's disability! We often hear SO MANY negatives, that it can be helpful to try and explore the positives

Autism Spectrum Disorder is just that - a wide spectrum. Medically, there is "Level 1 - low support needs, level 2- moderate support needs, level 3- high support needs". While SOME autistic individuals ARE gifted cognitively, ASD is also often co-occurring with an intellectual disability, ADHD, anxiety, or a specific learning disability. Some autistic individuals are non-verbal, while others are highly verbal and develop the ability to "mask" to try and blend into social situations (which is exhausting). Some questions for you to consider (you don't need to answer here) is:

- Who diagnosed Autism? Has he/she had a full psychological and autism evaluation? The "gold star" for assessing Autism is the ADOS/ADI - it's a two part process where the child undergoes a structured autism interview and the parent completes an autism interview. Were you able to find out some cognitive results? Adaptive functioning? Speech? Those are important pieces, but I will also add that cognitive testing is not super accurate at 3 years old, so you would want to get them re-evaluated within 3 years.

-If your child has not undergone a thorough evaluation, where you can get a good baseline understanding of where their strengths and needs are right now, I would start there either privately or through your local school system.

- I would review what services are recommended through whatever testing was done and get your child on all the "wait-lists" for Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy, ABA therapy, and join a parenting support group to learn more and connect with other parents. Your child may not need all of those services, but those are often the ones that are initially explored.

I have an autistic child (level 1) who also has ADHD and is mildly gifted "AuDHD". My child is now in 5th grade and while they are getting straight As in school, their disability impacts them A LOT and it's been a really hard journey. They have struggled so much behaviorally at school and home, they are often bored at school and are not challenged in a way that works for them, they have struggled so, so, so much with friendships and sibling/family interactions and we are constantly trying to support them with their mental health; they are at super high risk for serious mental health concerns as they begin to navigate adolescence. They have the POTENTIAL for incredible success, but getting there is a really, hard path. I honestly think my child who has ADHD and a specific learning disability, but is NOT gifted or autistic, will have a much easier path getting through school and getting into a college/career than my older child.

I really encourage you to dive into the supports that you can and ALWAYS celebrate your child's wonderful strengths, but it's a journey and best taken one step at a time.

What makes you think your older child will stop excelling in school?

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because our 3yo DS was just diagnosed with autism. While part of me is worried that he won't fit in socially when he goes to school, another part of me is relieved that he will undoubtedly excel effortlessly, as autism tends to come with academic giftedness. He'll probably graduate high school in the top 1% of his class and go to a T20 college. I know I can't change the fact that he has autism, but I still can't help wondering if his academic and financial success will make his social challenges worth-it.

I haven't read all the responses, but I think that is good you are trying to look at the positives that may come from your child's disability! We often hear SO MANY negatives, that it can be helpful to try and explore the positives

Autism Spectrum Disorder is just that - a wide spectrum. Medically, there is "Level 1 - low support needs, level 2- moderate support needs, level 3- high support needs". While SOME autistic individuals ARE gifted cognitively, ASD is also often co-occurring with an intellectual disability, ADHD, anxiety, or a specific learning disability. Some autistic individuals are non-verbal, while others are highly verbal and develop the ability to "mask" to try and blend into social situations (which is exhausting). Some questions for you to consider (you don't need to answer here) is:

- Who diagnosed Autism? Has he/she had a full psychological and autism evaluation? The "gold star" for assessing Autism is the ADOS/ADI - it's a two part process where the child undergoes a structured autism interview and the parent completes an autism interview. Were you able to find out some cognitive results? Adaptive functioning? Speech? Those are important pieces, but I will also add that cognitive testing is not super accurate at 3 years old, so you would want to get them re-evaluated within 3 years.

-If your child has not undergone a thorough evaluation, where you can get a good baseline understanding of where their strengths and needs are right now, I would start there either privately or through your local school system.

- I would review what services are recommended through whatever testing was done and get your child on all the "wait-lists" for Occupational Therapy, Speech therapy, ABA therapy, and join a parenting support group to learn more and connect with other parents. Your child may not need all of those services, but those are often the ones that are initially explored.

I have an autistic child (level 1) who also has ADHD and is mildly gifted "AuDHD". My child is now in 5th grade and while they are getting straight As in school, their disability impacts them A LOT and it's been a really hard journey. They have struggled so much behaviorally at school and home, they are often bored at school and are not challenged in a way that works for them, they have struggled so, so, so much with friendships and sibling/family interactions and we are constantly trying to support them with their mental health; they are at super high risk for serious mental health concerns as they begin to navigate adolescence. They have the POTENTIAL for incredible success, but getting there is a really, hard path. I honestly think my child who has ADHD and a specific learning disability, but is NOT gifted or autistic, will have a much easier path getting through school and getting into a college/career than my older child.

I really encourage you to dive into the supports that you can and ALWAYS celebrate your child's wonderful strengths, but it's a journey and best taken one step at a time.

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because our 3yo DS was just diagnosed with autism. While part of me is worried that he won't fit in socially when he goes to school, another part of me is relieved that he will undoubtedly excel effortlessly, as autism tends to come with academic giftedness. He'll probably graduate high school in the top 1% of his class and go to a T20 college. I know I can't change the fact that he has autism, but I still can't help wondering if his academic and financial success will make his social challenges worth-it.

Don't mean to make you sad. You seem like you need hope.

So much of getting ahead depends on people skills. Only certain jobs and industries tolerate brilliant jerks. And anyone who talks too much, obsesses, doesn't relate to other people's body language cues, etc. can get sidelined. I come from a family of really smart people IQ-wise. The most successful ones are the quiet men. Because they are smart but not annoying. We might have some undiagnosed ADHD. Not sure. We manage because we underachieve our potential and get shunted into individual contributor roles. If we don't burn out, we do okay financially. Some of us have lost jobs because of not having mentors or being annoying to normies.

Just focus on your kid at the stage they are at.

Anonymous wrote:OP, academic giftedness doesn’t always translate to financial success. The most financially successful member of my family is someone who is smart but most importantly has a high EQ.

For example, my nephew is autistic. Went to a top northeast private. Perfect SAT score. Scholarship to an IV. For PhD, got offered scholarship to Cal-tech, Stanford and two Ivies. Currently doing PhD in physics at one of the schools after taking some time off. At 29, he has never had a girlfriend. The world outside of academics is pretty confusing them. Their mother, who is on the spectrum as well, but less pronounced was academically gifted but not at her son’s level - she learned 3 languages within an 3 her span with ease. But, guess what, suffers severe depression, anxiety and is bipolar. An impulse spender, is unable to manage her finances, gets overwhelmed easily and therefore unable to keep a job. Older sibling manages her finances to keep her from going homeless. I’ll be honest, her mental health struggles has been like a sentence to those close to her, as she is an extremely stressful person to deal with on a regular basis. She’s mid 50s.

What’s wrong with that? Maybe he doesn’t want one.

The best way I can describe my son’s personal case is he’s very gifted and knows of his social deficiencies but has no desire to change. He can talk about all sorts of zoning housing types, what happens to MPDUs when they expire, etc., and he’s always gotten great grades and has always taken advanced classes. But try to get him to hold a conversation with anybody but me and his father, and he falters and sometimes cries when he’s in private. I love him, but man, is it difficult to watch him.

You lost me at “undoubtedly excel effortlessly”

My teen was also diagnosed around 3, and she did later get all the high iq findings you sound like you’re banking on (good luck), it is a massive struggle to “excel” and no progress has ever happened effortlessly. Ever. There is SO MUCH effort. By her and by the entire family. Brace yourself, op.

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking because our 3yo DS was just diagnosed with autism. While part of me is worried that he won't fit in socially when he goes to school, another part of me is relieved that he will undoubtedly excel effortlessly, as autism tends to come with academic giftedness. He'll probably graduate high school in the top 1% of his class and go to a T20 college. I know I can't change the fact that he has autism, but I still can't help wondering if his academic and financial success will make his social challenges worth-it.

You cannot be serious!

A key component of real world sucessis, unfortunately, is emotional IQ and fronting and networking. There are super smart students with high emotional IQs, and they will "win."

BUT it is very possible that my asd son will be more happy than the average bear. He doesn't have anxiety or imposter syndrome and he is VERY VERY enthusiastic about things he loves and getd more joy from these things than anyone I know gets joy from anything.

I think he'll do OK but he won't be a huge success and school isn't easy for him though he is bright (probably above average intelligence rather than gifted). The social thing worries me a lot but he doesn't feel it that deeply though he does feel it.

Achool is hard for asd kids because a lot of school is busy work and not just acing tests. Also asd comes with comobidities like adhd. My son has dsygraphia and on top of that, analying literature is really hard for literal thinkers.

There isn't much of a silver lining to the diagnosis imo. But there are tons of silver linings to my particular diagnosed kid.

good luck