Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:24     Subject: Re:Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:I read the entire OP and am hoping it's a troll based on the phrase "intriguing diversity." OMG.


Her most recent post is a red flag. A novel, and she worked “URM” in there. Bad vibes.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:18     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:Complain to the school OP. Usually kids with behavior issues are counseled out, unless their parents are large donors.


+
In my experience it’s a teacher / classroom management issue. Make the school aware
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:18     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.


I fear your expectations are simply not aligned with reality.

Physical violence won't be tolerated, but yapping and shouting out six seven aren't going to get any kid removed from any private school.


What should happen then? Seems our school just does gentle redirection and discipline, not much real time consequences. I'd like the boys sent out of class every time something happens (not one "6 7", but perhaps by the second or third time?). Seems crazy that class just stops every time one shouts something and the teacher disciplines him over and over, and then that's lost teaching time.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:15     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:We suffered through this for a couple of years at a (great) k-8. By 4th grade, the disruptors had left for one reason or another (one was explicitly counseled out). In the case of two of them. as I understand it, the parents felt like their kids were being singled out, so found other schools (but the general consensus, and my own observations, suggested that the kids got singled out because they were disruptive). Most parents thought the school took too long to take action, and it resulted in impact on our non-dsiruptive kids' learning (and, yes, we're paying a lot, so felt annoyed at this delay).


Thank you, that is helpful. The fact that I'm actually paying for school now certainly makes this more frustrating! I'd feel better if there was more day to day impact on the boys as presumably that would spur their parents to do something. For example, if the parents were called every time something happened or their son had to leave class and sit in the HOS office every time, I bet that would either spur them to leave voluntarily or do the hard work to fix their child's behavior. Instead, it feels like a lot of gentle redirection in class, which maybe is the right way to help that particular kid, but obviously then the rest of the class has to suffer through it too.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:09     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:They don’t counsel out slightly to moderately disruptive elementary school boys. They consistently use redirection at school, make a referral for an evaluation where appropriate, and it all takes time. Try to have some empathy, perspective, and patience - because can be embarrassing and challenging to be the parents of a child with behavior issues and because a lot of issues that do not involve violence or bullying are often readily outgrown in time (and/or changed better classroom management). Also make sure that you are not overly voicing your own displeasure with your presumably very diligent and well-behaved daughter; its frustrating but she should not get a ton of attention put if the ordinary out of coming home and telling on these boys.


So these kids are just endlessly redirected using class time? I genuinely don't understand why they aren't being sent out of class when this happens. It seems unfair for class time for the entire class to be used every day to discipline the same 1 or 2 kids.

My daughter has brought it up to us a bunch of times because she's frustrated that her learning and experience are being impacted. For example, she was particularly upset last week because during an outdoor exploration class, they had planned to take a long walk to the school garden and discuss some of the winter changes. They weren't able to take the walk because the teacher spent so much time dealing with 1 of the boys. The teacher apologized to the class and said they ran out of time for the walk due to the boy's disruptive behavior making the rest of the lesson go so slowly. The teacher then dismissed them to their next special (music) and audibly (in front of the rest of the kids) warned the music teacher that the one boy was being particularly difficult today.

I'm not sending her back to public school with kids who behave super outrageously, but I definitely expected better classroom management in private school (meaning, kids who don't behave don't get to stay in class; I definitely recall from my own private school days the teacher sending kids who misbehaved to the HOS rather than let them remain in class and disrupt the rest of us).



disIt seems like it'd be much more effective for them to leave class, get some sort of speech from the counselor etc, and instead some percentage of class time is being consumed while 1 or 2 kids are disciplined (and it's the same 1 or 2)
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:08     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
We suffered through this for a couple of years at a (great) k-8. By 4th grade, the disruptors had left for one reason or another (one was explicitly counseled out). In the case of two of them. as I understand it, the parents felt like their kids were being singled out, so found other schools (but the general consensus, and my own observations, suggested that the kids got singled out because they were disruptive). Most parents thought the school took too long to take action, and it resulted in impact on our non-dsiruptive kids' learning (and, yes, we're paying a lot, so felt annoyed at this delay).
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:05     Subject: Re:Disruptive kids in class
I read the entire OP and am hoping it's a troll based on the phrase "intriguing diversity." OMG.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 19:03     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.


I fear your expectations are simply not aligned with reality.

Physical violence won't be tolerated, but yapping and shouting out six seven aren't going to get any kid removed from any private school.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 18:58     Subject: Re:Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not all disruptive behaviors are ADHD. My kids’ school handbook states that teachers have a right to teach, students have a right to learn, and no student may infringe on the rights of a teacher or another student. By the time children are old enough to be in a classroom, they are old enough to not interrupt a teacher’s lesson by shouting “6, 7.” If they can’t behave appropriately, they shouldn’t be in the classroom.


And where would you have them be? My child has made tremendous progress this year. One bad day means they shouldn’t be in school? What if your kid had disrupted the classroom- would you be ok with them being counseled out immediately? You seem like someone who had never been around children- you think 5 year olds (old enough to be in a classroom) are going to sit still and never call out? It sounds like you got lucky with a robot child.


One bad day can be forgiven, but children need to understand that the classroom is a place to learn, not to make faces at friends, take others’ supplies, shout “6 7,” or whatever other nonsense comes into their heads at the moment. Not every thought must be voiced or every impulse acted upon. Five year olds can understand that other people matter and to save the silliness for after school.


This is a cute thought.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 18:41     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
They don’t counsel out slightly to moderately disruptive elementary school boys. They consistently use redirection at school, make a referral for an evaluation where appropriate, and it all takes time. Try to have some empathy, perspective, and patience - because can be embarrassing and challenging to be the parents of a child with behavior issues and because a lot of issues that do not involve violence or bullying are often readily outgrown in time (and/or changed better classroom management). Also make sure that you are not overly voicing your own displeasure with your presumably very diligent and well-behaved daughter; its frustrating but she should not get a ton of attention put if the ordinary out of coming home and telling on these boys.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 18:12     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
OP here. Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I can appreciate that some kids have behavior issues which the school and their parents work on. I definitely appreciate parents who dealt with that speaking up. When I think more about it, I actually think I'm more frustrated that the school hasn't done more about it to improve what's happening in class, even if my post seemed like my frustration was directed at the kids (who as people said, are kids after all). I would have expected the kids to be sent out of the class pretty quickly when behavior crops up (to the head of the lower school or the school counselor or something like that?) rather than the teachers to be endlessly disciplining them in class.

I think I'm most frustrated because learning for the whole class is being impacted by 2 kids with behavior problems. If the kids were just swiftly dismissed to the head of lower school etc every time there was a behavior problem, I wouldn't care what was happening. Instead, it seems like class time is being taken up as the teachers (in homeroom and specials) endlessly correct these 2 boys.

My daughter told me today how they had to end math early because of 1 of the boys. The things they didn't get to would be done tomorrow during another lesson. It's nuts to be that 1 or 2 kids get to negatively impact class for everyone else.

Some people mentioned how poorly behaved kids end up in privates because their parents just assume they need a different environment. I guess maybe? But the school DD is at is a very competitive one to get into, requires a shadow day and student interview, and requires LORs from current teachers. I would think they'd be able to suss out behavior problems that way. She actually had a somewhat disruptive classmate from her public apply to her private school and he didn't get in. He was both a URM (black) and had a sibling at the school; to me, that's good evidence that her current private school is wary of behavior issues.

And these boys behavior is still like 5x better than the behavior kids in public, who were physically rough or extremely disruptive. In public, my daughter had a kid who kept flipping over his desk, another kid who pushed and shoved kids whenever he felt like it, and so many kids who couldn't stay in their seats, yelled out constantly, and made a game of their poor behavior trying to encourage others to join in. We actually felt like public school was normalizing this behavior because it happened so frequently and severely. Our private school experience has been worlds better. Perhaps I am just expected too much, though.

One of our kids is a boy, which is why we didn't consider an all girls private school, as we'd like the kids all at the same school ideally. I would be upset if my son behaved like these kids anyway. I don't think boys behavior should be excused just as a gender thing.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 16:43     Subject: Re:Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They're brats, not ADHD.
Id figure out a way to tell the school.


Equip DD with a recording device and post it, anonymously on social media. That’s one way to let the school know what’s going on.


Coward
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 16:36     Subject: Re:Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:They're brats, not ADHD.
Id figure out a way to tell the school.


Equip DD with a recording device and post it, anonymously on social media. That’s one way to let the school know what’s going on.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 16:17     Subject: Re:Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not all disruptive behaviors are ADHD. My kids’ school handbook states that teachers have a right to teach, students have a right to learn, and no student may infringe on the rights of a teacher or another student. By the time children are old enough to be in a classroom, they are old enough to not interrupt a teacher’s lesson by shouting “6, 7.” If they can’t behave appropriately, they shouldn’t be in the classroom.


And where would you have them be? My child has made tremendous progress this year. One bad day means they shouldn’t be in school? What if your kid had disrupted the classroom- would you be ok with them being counseled out immediately? You seem like someone who had never been around children- you think 5 year olds (old enough to be in a classroom) are going to sit still and never call out? It sounds like you got lucky with a robot child.


One bad day can be forgiven, but children need to understand that the classroom is a place to learn, not to make faces at friends, take others’ supplies, shout “6 7,” or whatever other nonsense comes into their heads at the moment. Not every thought must be voiced or every impulse acted upon. Five year olds can understand that other people matter and to save the silliness for after school.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2026 13:53     Subject: Disruptive kids in class
Anonymous wrote:Complain to the school OP. Usually kids with behavior issues are counseled out, unless their parents are large donors. [/quote
+1,000,000$