Anonymous wrote:There is a mom at my kid's school who I know from somewhere (and she knows me from somewhere) but I don't know where. She is very friendly and always stops to say hi and ask how we are and knows my kid's name. I missed the window on having the awkward conversation of "how do we know each other" figuring at some point it would dawn on me. It's been months and it hasn't.

I've been through everywhere I think I could know her from but am still coming up empty. I guess at some point it just won't matter anymore? She's very nice and I enjoy talking to her but I feel terrible that I can't place her. I've lived in DC for so long now and have known people in so many different contexts (work at multiple jobs, a grad program, a part time teaching gig I had for a few years, different neighbors, volunteer orgs, plus all the many kid-related settings, etc.). I used to be so good at recalling how I knew people but in my late 30s this started to fall apart and now I'm in my 40s and it's so much harder.

Anyone have some kind of trick I could use to figure this out? It's driving me crazy.

Ask her!

This happens to me more often than I’d like to admit - combo of my recently less than stellar memory and a bit of face blindness (I can remember facts and connections about people, but not recognize them). It’s exacerbated by apparently looking somewhat distinctive - I’m ‘ambiguously ethnic’ and have some features people remember. I’ve had people I haven’t known well or seen in 15 years recognize me.

I end up scrolling thru FB, LinkedIn, my photos and texts to try to figure it out as it also drives me nuts.

So I'm at work one day and this guy follows me back from the elevator and says hi, do you remember me? Now, I teach an engineering class at work that everyone has to take, so often people recognize me, but I don't remember the 30 faces a month that I meet.

I'm at a loss, and he says "from school". So now I'm thinking who do I remember from college (same town as engineering company). Still draw a blank. He then tells me his name and he and I rode the same bus in 5th grade!

I am almost 50. So 40 years later I look similar enough to be recognized. Is that a compliment? An insult?

The kicker, I had the biggest crush on this kid in 6th grade. He had shoulder length blonde silky hair, but at age 50 he was bald, haha! I did not mention my earlier crush to him, but boy, was that weird!

As a side note, for 9 years, I sat in a cube kitty cornered from a lady in a different group, so I only said pleasantries to her in the elevator for years. Well one day, I heard her talking across the hall and said, that is "Susie Smith" from 5th grade. I recognized her voice alone, since she looked nothing like her younger self.

She lived near bald guy back then and we all rode the same bus at age 10. So I took bald guy across the hall to meet another former schoolmate from 5th/6th grade. And this was in one of the largest cities in the US.

So maybe OP knows this woman from elementary school!

Anonymous wrote:I like this suggestion from someone above me:

Look through your child’s year book and find a picture of her child. Once you have her child’s name you can use the school directory to look up her name. Now search FB and your emails for context. Hopefully that will help.

I’d search LinkedIn because most people add school and work history, but PP has the answer.

Don't fake it if you don't know. That's immature.

I’m so bad at that. There’s this mom I recently ended up in a conversation with, without any kind of introduction- just overlapped with some friends during an event. Then she asked me all these questions that made it CLEAR she knew me (is your daughter still playing that sport in that league? She is so talented! Etc). I swear I had never seen her before. I eventually got her name from a friend but still had no idea how she knew some specifics about both my kids.

And recently I was at a party and only exchanged some hellos with someone I didn’t recognize but was clearly a friend of a friend. It felt very awkward for some reason. Next day on social media I see this woman posting a pic from the party - and it was the woman from the party, and we are apparently Facebook friends. So I guess we already met at another party or neighborhood type event but I have no recollection of that.

Just fess up. Apologize. Say you're terrible with names...and ask her her name, and say you know you met before school pick up, but you just can't place it and you'd be eternally grateful to end this mortifying embarrassment.

Anonymous wrote:She’s your gynecologist.

I ran into mine (female) at the mall while she was shopping for prom dresses for her daughter. We actually have a good relationship and talk quite a bit, but for a few seconds (minute?) I couldn’t place her because it was so out of context. Then we had a good laugh about it.

I like this suggestion from someone above me:

Look through your child’s year book and find a picture of her child. Once you have her child’s name you can use the school directory to look up her name. Now search FB and your emails for context. Hopefully that will help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s your gynecologist.

I couldn't figure out why the husband of my twins' speech therapist (she worked out of a home office) looked familiar and then I later realized he had been the anesthesiologist when I had had them. Awkward.

It's definitely not awkward to not immediate recognize someone who shortly after you met them gassed you into unconsciousness.

I think the best thing to do is to come out front with it. I've run into people I met many years ago and knew casually for a short period of time, and it takes awhile and sometimes I even have that conversation. It's easier than you think and since she's friendly she is unlikely to be offended at all. If she was giving you the evil eye that would be another thing.

This has happened to me multiple times. I have faked remembering a few times and it works out ok if in passing but on a few occasions the other person called me out later with “you don’t remember me, do you?” which was really awkward. So now I will be honest. I will apologize and blame my terrible memory. I’ll say “I 100% know we know each other but can you remind me of the context?” I then apologize again once my memory has been jogged. When I haven’t seen someone in a while, I will actually approach to say hi with a reintroduction to help others. I grew up in the area, have 3 kids who have attended a combined 6 different schools (prek to HS) and participated in dozens of teams and classes. I’ve also been a volunteer for all the 6 schools and the Girl Scouts. The person could also be from an old job, a sorority sister or college acquaintance, a grad school classmate, etc. Sometimes I just truly can’t remember or even narrow it down to a stage of life. I feel terribly when this happens. A few tricks that might help since you can at least narrow down to something kid-related. Look through your child’s year book and find a picture of her child. Once you have her child’s name you can use the school directory to look up her name. Now search FB and your emails for context. Hopefully that will help.

This happened to me!
It was someone I knew from ages ago but had lost contact with and she had lost 100+ pounds.

Anonymous wrote:You need a third person to help. Someone who can ask her point blank, "Oh I saw you chatting with Maggie. I met her a while back through the kids' swim team and now they're in school together. How do you both overlap?"

Was already suggested.

You need a third person to help. Someone who can ask her point blank, "Oh I saw you chatting with Maggie. I met her a while back through the kids' swim team and now they're in school together. How do you both overlap?"