Anonymous wrote:I once dated a guy who disclosed he had recently thought of suicide. He also never wanted sex and he was 10 years younger than me. He was a hot mess. Why he was on dating apps was beyond me.

Anonymous wrote:Is it ethical / moral to disclose genital herpes or HIV+ before intimacy in dating? Everyone would agree: yes.

What makes it acceptable then to think you can go on for weeks / months / years, hiding your mental illness from your partner?

Anonymous wrote:I mean, if we all had to disclose *everything* about ourselves that could potentially lead to someone being unhappy in OLD, that’s literally all our profile would be. Just a long list of every flaw we have. Yours, too, OP.

The problem is that people go into OLD expecting immediate gratification. They want to find the perfect person NOW. And they move far too quickly and get attached way too fast, which leads to future casting before you’ve even learned who the person really is.

When dating is supposed to be meeting a wide variety of people, taking it slow, and ending things when it turns out you’re not a match.

If you’re worried about SSRIs impacting sex drive, no problem. You should be having conversations about sex with the people you are having sex with or plan to have sex with. If you can come up with a solution together, great. If not, you realize you’re not a good match and move on.

FWIW I’ve dated 2 men with ED. One refused to do anything about it and told me I should just be grateful that he’ll never cheat on me bc he can’t. I ended things. The other worked with me to find solutions so I could be sexually satisfied and was so good at oral I really didn’t care. We stayed together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:may be not in OLD but people should declare during the first month of dating.

My 42yr old ex-gf has issues with sex drive, vaginal dryness, reaching orgasm and a few other things that she didn't disclose and hid it for a while, never took treatment and became one of the factors of me breaking up with her.

Having issues is ok but honestly disclosing them shows accountability and respect for the relationship.

How do you hide not having sex? Or she had sex despite not wanting to and did a bait and switch later?

I don’t know exactly what happened but she always had a problem reaching O. Played with a toy for an hour and nothing. Have some medical issues, gained significant weight to around 200 lbs at 5’2” and were having other hormonal issues. She knew about them at the starting and didn’t disclose but situation went worse with time. Hard to exactly pin point one issue as there were a lot together.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think anyone needs to disclose on their profile but I do want to know about chronic health conditions - physical and mental early into dating. Deciding that someone with anxiety or schizophrenia isn't the right partner for me is a choice I get to make. Hiding it and lying isn't going to last forever and then the relationship ends on a sour note. Just be upfront. If you have a chronic health condition that requries ongoing treatment - a prospective partner deserves to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are SSRIs? Fat pills, mental pills or sex pills? I’m lost and not opening another browser to Google this using same hand to hold phone and type so can’t

Things that test adhd, asd symptoms, bipolar disorder, borderline, schitzo, chronic exec functioning issues, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always bet for mental disorders. Via convos, family stories, medicine cabinets, conflict resolution skills, how they handle your emotions/ their emotions/ anger, communication skills.

For some reason, mental disorders get lost in the limerance stage. I almost think a better strategy is to ask your closest friends or family members if they see any red flags.