I think most people should host their own birthday party if they want to celebrate with their friends.

But I could see a group of friends and family chipping in to send Larla away on a much needed getaway if she couldn’t afford it and really needed a break. Think: a week at Canyon Ranch or some such following a divorce or death of her spouse.

Anyway, if a bunch of ladies are schlepping to a resort and the impetus behind it is Larla’s 50th, then I would expect everyone to pay their own way. And Larla or her spouse should plan and pay for a special dinner with a cake and pay for it.

Huh? None.

$200

I am in an UMC friend group - HHI is typically 500k+. Everyone, including the birthday person, pays their own portion. In addition to this, the birthday person would typically host at least one dinner (cover all costs) as a "thank you" for coming to celebrate.

Anonymous wrote:This is one of a hundred reasons why I’m sort of glad I’m no longer in any social circles.

I remember how much it sucked when it felt like everyone in my ex’s family seemed to need a giant “Lordy Lordy Mike is 40!” and “Nifty Nifty Janice is 50!” party.

Such incredible narcissism. Guess what, lots of people also turn 40 and 50

So because everyone has birthdays...no one should celebrate them? Weird take. I have never minded attending someone's birthday. I went to a 50th a few weeks ago and it was a blast. They had amazing food and a great bartender and band and it was tons of fun. Honestly, I feel like parties are thrown for the guests. I was appreciative of the fact that they opened their doors and provided great food and drinks and music and a place for all our friends to gather.

What the???

I’m having a hard time imagining the context where something like this would apply.
Mayyyybe if it were someone older with no money of their own, who couldn’t pay for their trip home to see their child or relatives for the first time in many years, or something else really special, I could see chipping in for something like this. OP, is it something like this? We need more info.

Anonymous wrote:Friends are planning a birthday trip for one person in the group. How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?

$0. This is an absurd precedent to set.

How old are you and your friends? At no age could I imagine being self-centered enough to allow my friends to pay toward my $2000 birthday trip. That is the spouse's role, not friends.

Anonymous wrote:This is one of a hundred reasons why I’m sort of glad I’m no longer in any social circles.

I remember how much it sucked when it felt like everyone in my ex’s family seemed to need a giant “Lordy Lordy Mike is 40!” and “Nifty Nifty Janice is 50!” party.

Such incredible narcissism. Guess what, lots of people also turn 40 and 50

This is spot on. The navel gazing

Is this some sort of shifty way to do a gofundme without doing a gofundme?

For my best friend? Whatever they are missing and then some.
Not enough information. Need ages, incomes, who the person is, how often this happens.

Nothing

This is one of a hundred reasons why I’m sort of glad I’m no longer in any social circles.

I remember how much it sucked when it felt like everyone in my ex’s family seemed to need a giant “Lordy Lordy Mike is 40!” and “Nifty Nifty Janice is 50!” party.

Such incredible narcissism. Guess what, lots of people also turn 40 and 50

Zero? The only times I'd ever spend money on a party I was not attending would be a wedding gift or a baby shower gift, if I couldn't make the event.

Anonymous wrote:Friends are planning a birthday trip for one person in the group. How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?

Not one red cent.