I am 50 and a SAHM. I know lots.

I’m a SAHM in Falls Church and have met several (between 5-10) others through my kids’ school. All have BAs, and most have graduate degrees of one kind or another.

I am one! I was a NP and worked less and less with each kid. After my 4th I think I picked up PRN maybe every 4-6 weeks and then I just stopped. I know this is controversial but for me it wasn't really safe to practice that irregularly and doing virtual appointments wasn't fulfilling at all for me so when I stopped needing the money I got further and further away from it. I don't miss it because I really like the stage of life I am in now but I keep up my credentials in case DH left or died or something crazy. NPs are also in a weird stage right now because the regulation of our licensing isn't standardized and I was working with a lot of people towards the end who truly were NOT qualified. In very unsafe ways. And I felt like I was drifting that way bc of a combo of working so little and when I was working working around people who really didn't know what they were doing or were too overworked to do it well.

I know about 4-5 nurses who have similar paths to SAH stages. Hard to say which ones of us are in it for life vs till our kids get older. We are in Bethesda.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Obviously your circle is quite small and/or working class. There are many stay at home parents all over the place.

Working class moms stay at home more. There's a strong relationship among mothers between having a college degree and working full-time. https://www.minneapolisfed.org/article/2023/whos-not-working-education-and-the-choice-to-be-a-stay-at-home-parent

Working or wealthy, middle and upper middle tend to need and want jobs more than others though there are lots of women working without any professional degrees.

Working class moms often see no option except to stay home when infant childcare is so expensive. Then, without degrees/experience/networks, it's hard to get back into work.

My neices/nephews in their 30s are working class and have both parents working but their mom gives them the massive gift of doing all their childcare for free.

Most working class moms need jobs to make ends meet and can get free childcare through government assistance or family networks.

No, the voucher program is for very low income so two parents making $75 each will not qualify. My parents live close and refuse to help. I had no choice but to stay home as my child care did not work out at the last minute and cost wasn’t worth it.

You aren't "working class" as it is used in USA. in USA, high wage earners are called "middle class". (It's part of USA workaholic capitalist exploitation culture.)

Anonymous wrote:I became a SAHM at 40 with 2 kids. I would say in terms of annual HHI we are at top 5% for DMV. Kids are done with college, married/engaged,

I am an immigrant so I was not judged for being a SAHM. Besides, most people from my country of origin knew our academic and career credentials, our family background etc - so, being a SAHM was clearly my own choice.

Also - I did not become a SAHM because a lack of education, socialization, culture etc. My kids were top performers in school/college etc and generally have done well in their life - so it was also not due to a SN situation etc. IRL, I was not considered to be a doormat or a gravy train rider because I was home.

Now DCUM is another matter.

I'm curious what this means.

Even in cultures where SAH is very common in heritage country the subpopulation who emigrates is different.


In USA, I associate SAH with highly religious families, especially ones with many kids.

Anonymous wrote:What’s with the sahp hate? I know a lot. All college educated, many with masters.

Full pay or subsidized tuition?

Anonymous wrote:Tons. I live in McLean. I am one. I used to be a lawyer but haven’t worked in 10 years. Tons of women like me.

So many highly educated SAHPs in McLean - lots of lawyers.

There are a ton of us in North Arlington. Those I know have degrees, many of us with advanced degrees, but took a break when we got burnt out and never went back.

I became a SAHM at 40 with 2 kids. I would say in terms of annual HHI we are at top 5% for DMV. Kids are done with college, married/engaged,

I am an immigrant so I was not judged for being a SAHM. Besides, most people from my country of origin knew our academic and career credentials, our family background etc - so, being a SAHM was clearly my own choice.

Also - I did not become a SAHM because a lack of education, socialization, culture etc. My kids were top performers in school/college etc and generally have done well in their life - so it was also not due to a SN situation etc. IRL, I was not considered to be a doormat or a gravy train rider because I was home.

Now DCUM is another matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Obviously your circle is quite small and/or working class. There are many stay at home parents all over the place.

Working class moms stay at home more. There's a strong relationship among mothers between having a college degree and working full-time. https://www.minneapolisfed.org/article/2023/whos-not-working-education-and-the-choice-to-be-a-stay-at-home-parent

Working or wealthy, middle and upper middle tend to need and want jobs more than others though there are lots of women working without any professional degrees.

Working class moms often see no option except to stay home when infant childcare is so expensive. Then, without degrees/experience/networks, it's hard to get back into work.

My neices/nephews in their 30s are working class and have both parents working but their mom gives them the massive gift of doing all their childcare for free.

Most working class moms need jobs to make ends meet and can get free childcare through government assistance or family networks.

Oh really? Most working moms can get free childcare through government assistance?

Cite?

I was one. Was not for me.
I went back to work.

Let women make choices suitable for themselves, their families and their finances, without worrying about societal expectations or norms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Obviously your circle is quite small and/or working class. There are many stay at home parents all over the place.

Working class moms stay at home more. There's a strong relationship among mothers between having a college degree and working full-time. https://www.minneapolisfed.org/article/2023/whos-not-working-education-and-the-choice-to-be-a-stay-at-home-parent

Working or wealthy, middle and upper middle tend to need and want jobs more than others though there are lots of women working without any professional degrees.

Working class moms often see no option except to stay home when infant childcare is so expensive. Then, without degrees/experience/networks, it's hard to get back into work.

My neices/nephews in their 30s are working class and have both parents working but their mom gives them the massive gift of doing all their childcare for free.

Most working class moms need jobs to make ends meet and can get free childcare through government assistance or family networks.

No, the voucher program is for very low income so two parents making $75 each will not qualify. My parents live close and refuse to help. I had no choice but to stay home as my child care did not work out at the last minute and cost wasn’t worth it.

What’s with the sahp hate? I know a lot. All college educated, many with masters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Obviously your circle is quite small and/or working class. There are many stay at home parents all over the place.

Working class moms stay at home more. There's a strong relationship among mothers between having a college degree and working full-time. https://www.minneapolisfed.org/article/2023/whos-not-working-education-and-the-choice-to-be-a-stay-at-home-parent

Working or wealthy, middle and upper middle tend to need and want jobs more than others though there are lots of women working without any professional degrees.

Working class moms often see no option except to stay home when infant childcare is so expensive. Then, without degrees/experience/networks, it's hard to get back into work.

My neices/nephews in their 30s are working class and have both parents working but their mom gives them the massive gift of doing all their childcare for free.

Most working class moms need jobs to make ends meet and can get free childcare through government assistance or family networks.