Anonymous wrote:Don't involve him. Whenever possible, just work solo and stop from mentioning anything to him.

Thanks, yes I learned my lesson. Taking a day to deep clean then back at it next week while I am still at home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I have been making great progress decluttering until yesterday when DH questioned me giving away a baby gift that my kid received 20 years ago: none of us can remember who gave it, not personalized but handmade by someone, my kid has never seen or used it, etc. etc. He has been fully supportive of my efforts--but also making comments that if it were up to him, he'd just get a dumpster and be ruthless. Also, he won't agree to get rid of any of his stuff, which I suspected, and that's fine, but I have kept a lot of baby gifts to pass on to my kids. This latest negative comment really irritated me. Trying to find my focus again today!

Ugh comments like that are so unhelpful. Good luck focusing! You can do it!

I've been trying to go through a bunch of boxes I inherited mixed with random stuff my husband stored away. In one box was a pair of grounded baby shoes. Whose? I have no idea. Not my kids. Maybe one of my parents? Their parents? They look very old. They feel weird too throw away.

I understand! I have boxes of my parents’ stuff that was meaningful to them, but they are gone now, and I just need to toss most of it.

Don't involve him. Whenever possible, just work solo and stop from mentioning anything to him.

Anonymous wrote:NP. I have been making great progress decluttering until yesterday when DH questioned me giving away a baby gift that my kid received 20 years ago: none of us can remember who gave it, not personalized but handmade by someone, my kid has never seen or used it, etc. etc. He has been fully supportive of my efforts--but also making comments that if it were up to him, he'd just get a dumpster and be ruthless. Also, he won't agree to get rid of any of his stuff, which I suspected, and that's fine, but I have kept a lot of baby gifts to pass on to my kids. This latest negative comment really irritated me. Trying to find my focus again today!

Ugh comments like that are so unhelpful. Good luck focusing! You can do it!

I've been trying to go through a bunch of boxes I inherited mixed with random stuff my husband stored away. In one box was a pair of grounded baby shoes. Whose? I have no idea. Not my kids. Maybe one of my parents? Their parents? They look very old. They feel weird too throw away.

NP. I have been making great progress decluttering until yesterday when DH questioned me giving away a baby gift that my kid received 20 years ago: none of us can remember who gave it, not personalized but handmade by someone, my kid has never seen or used it, etc. etc. He has been fully supportive of my efforts--but also making comments that if it were up to him, he'd just get a dumpster and be ruthless. Also, he won't agree to get rid of any of his stuff, which I suspected, and that's fine, but I have kept a lot of baby gifts to pass on to my kids. This latest negative comment really irritated me. Trying to find my focus again today!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-Stop asking “do I need this?” and instead ask “can I live without this item? If I did not have this item what would I use instead?”

-get rid of any non-seasonal item you haven’t used in 3 months.

-get rid of any holiday/seasonal item you did not use the previous season.

-don’t get bogged down with the best place to sell or donate your crap. If it’s quick and easy to sell or donate, fine. But otherwise just trash it so you don’t lose momentum/motivation. The real goal is to get decluttered so that you feel the reward and don’t seek new stuff. It’s a pattern shift.

What if you can't get past the idea of throwing everything in the trash? I'm not a hoarder by any means, am basically organized, but when faced with the detritus of modern living, I hate to think of it sitting in a landfill.

You have to get past it. Give yourself permission and then vow to buy less and contribute less to the landfill. Sometimes you have to trash things. If you've ever cleaned out an entire house, you know there's just no getting around it. Also, I used to volunteer at a thrift shop. No one wants broken, incomplete, ripped, moldy, smelly or stained things, even people who can't afford more. There are some things that need to be thrown away. It's not healthy to hand onto things in the hope if their future use by someone.

I have a hard time with the landfill thing too. I try to deal with it by giving away a reasonable amount and then buying less. DH and I try to see if we can keep our trash can at 50% every week when we put it out.

I'm thinking of things like outdated electronics that no longer have a practical use, all of the plastic crap you get from kid birthday parties and events, a well-loved power wheels that won't work again, worn-out markers, shoes and clothes beyond repair. Again, I don't think this is a function of overconsumption so much as it's simply the waste that is left behind when an item becomes obsolete. These are the things that I hate trashing - not because I still want it in my house, not because it's been acquired without forethought. I'm not going to become an off the grid homesteader, but I guess my unrealistic desire is that more of our necessities and household items were meant to last longer. Everything is plastic and reaches a "just trash it" point.

I take your point, but what else can be done with a worn-out marker? It is trash no matter where you put it. Your holding onto it in your home isn't keeping it out of the trash, it's just delaying the day on which it ends up in the trash.

PPs are absolutely right---if this is the kind of thing that bothers you, the time to consider it is BEFORE you bring it into your home. Look for necessities and household items that last longer, have multiple uses, can be easily recycled and make sure you buy those if they exist. Avoid buying plastic as much as possible. But the stuff that is already trashed in your home is already trash, so you might as well put it where the trash goes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed! I am on the 'mental' hunt for a way to store my holiday napkins and tablecloths. I keep veering back to a plastic boot box. Already have it - so it won't cost anything.

Why does anyone need more than one Christmas tablecloth?

1. You have more than one table.
2. You use a second while one is in the wash.

3. The tablecloth that fits the table when it's just the 4 of you doesn't fit the table when 2 leaves are added and there are 12 people for dinner. And the big tablecloth that fits with 2 leaves would be puddling in people's laps when there are no leaves in the table.

4. Someone dribbled tomato sauce or red wine one year and so you continue to use that one when it's just immediately family, but break out a stain-free tablecloth when the whole crew is over to celebrate the actual holiday.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50% of your closet and dresser space should be empty.

My DH moved out and it helped me to realized that I didn’t have too much stuff, but not enough space. Now I have lots of room to breathe in my closet and plenty of drawer space.

Two ways to skin a cat.

I love this. The man was taking up space, people!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed! I am on the 'mental' hunt for a way to store my holiday napkins and tablecloths. I keep veering back to a plastic boot box. Already have it - so it won't cost anything.

Why does anyone need more than one Christmas tablecloth?

They have more than one table?

I use tablecloths every day. Christmas lasts at least four weeks in our house. I’m not using the same tablecloth every day for four weeks.

Interesting. I wasn’t aware people used tablecloths for normal days.

NP. We have a very expensive dining room table. We use runners and placemats to protect the table.

We have an antique and we got a glass top cut for it. Sometimes use tablecloth but now it's protected and windex cleans it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I follow a gal on instagram, and her big thing - it isn't YOU, it's your systems. So adjust your systems to your life.

For example, she is really big on mini trash cans. Where does trash pile up at your house? Maybe beside the sofa in the family room? Put a mini trash container (its like a small 4"x4" box) and leave it there. Now you can drop all your candy wrappers or whatever in there, and it still looks tidier and is easy to dump out.

Or if you have a landing zone at your front/back door where you leave everything. Instead of trying to train yourself to put it all away, just find a system that organizes it where you drop it. So a little system that has a hook for your keys, a container for your important mail, one for your junk mail, a basket with mitts/gloves, a place for your sunglasses, etc.

The trash thing is so weird. That isn't a "declutter and organize" thing. It's for people who can't be bothered to clean up after themselves.

Not that OP necessarily knows this or meant this, but I think "declutter" is mainly a euphemism these days used by hoarders and the industry that has built up around helping them -- there is a woman at my church who is a hoarder who keeps getting new people to help her every time an apt complex threatens to evict her. She keeps posting "decluttering" tips. She literally has a house full of trash -- much of it years-old receipts. People are definitely "decluttering" trash.

No. Normal people need to declutter somewhat regularly to keep things organized. It’s not a high process if you stay on top of it. A drawer here, a closet there. Some places attract more clutter than others. For us it’s a couple drawers in the kitchen and the linen closet.

What do you mean "No" lol. Just because normal people need to declutter doesn't mean "declutter" isn't a very common euphemism for dealing with hoarding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-Stop asking “do I need this?” and instead ask “can I live without this item? If I did not have this item what would I use instead?”

-get rid of any non-seasonal item you haven’t used in 3 months.

-get rid of any holiday/seasonal item you did not use the previous season.

-don’t get bogged down with the best place to sell or donate your crap. If it’s quick and easy to sell or donate, fine. But otherwise just trash it so you don’t lose momentum/motivation. The real goal is to get decluttered so that you feel the reward and don’t seek new stuff. It’s a pattern shift.

What if you can't get past the idea of throwing everything in the trash? I'm not a hoarder by any means, am basically organized, but when faced with the detritus of modern living, I hate to think of it sitting in a landfill.

You have to get past it. Give yourself permission and then vow to buy less and contribute less to the landfill. Sometimes you have to trash things. If you've ever cleaned out an entire house, you know there's just no getting around it. Also, I used to volunteer at a thrift shop. No one wants broken, incomplete, ripped, moldy, smelly or stained things, even people who can't afford more. There are some things that need to be thrown away. It's not healthy to hand onto things in the hope if their future use by someone.

I have a hard time with the landfill thing too. I try to deal with it by giving away a reasonable amount and then buying less. DH and I try to see if we can keep our trash can at 50% every week when we put it out.

I'm thinking of things like outdated electronics that no longer have a practical use, all of the plastic crap you get from kid birthday parties and events, a well-loved power wheels that won't work again, worn-out markers, shoes and clothes beyond repair. Again, I don't think this is a function of overconsumption so much as it's simply the waste that is left behind when an item becomes obsolete. These are the things that I hate trashing - not because I still want it in my house, not because it's been acquired without forethought. I'm not going to become an off the grid homesteader, but I guess my unrealistic desire is that more of our necessities and household items were meant to last longer. Everything is plastic and reaches a "just trash it" point.

I think you just take whatever lesson is in each of these pieces of trash, forgive yourself, dispose of them as responsibly as possible (which may well be with household trash) and move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-Stop asking “do I need this?” and instead ask “can I live without this item? If I did not have this item what would I use instead?”

-get rid of any non-seasonal item you haven’t used in 3 months.

-get rid of any holiday/seasonal item you did not use the previous season.

-don’t get bogged down with the best place to sell or donate your crap. If it’s quick and easy to sell or donate, fine. But otherwise just trash it so you don’t lose momentum/motivation. The real goal is to get decluttered so that you feel the reward and don’t seek new stuff. It’s a pattern shift.

What if you can't get past the idea of throwing everything in the trash? I'm not a hoarder by any means, am basically organized, but when faced with the detritus of modern living, I hate to think of it sitting in a landfill.

You have to get past it. Give yourself permission and then vow to buy less and contribute less to the landfill. Sometimes you have to trash things. If you've ever cleaned out an entire house, you know there's just no getting around it. Also, I used to volunteer at a thrift shop. No one wants broken, incomplete, ripped, moldy, smelly or stained things, even people who can't afford more. There are some things that need to be thrown away. It's not healthy to hand onto things in the hope if their future use by someone.

I have a hard time with the landfill thing too. I try to deal with it by giving away a reasonable amount and then buying less. DH and I try to see if we can keep our trash can at 50% every week when we put it out.

I'm thinking of things like outdated electronics that no longer have a practical use, all of the plastic crap you get from kid birthday parties and events, a well-loved power wheels that won't work again, worn-out markers, shoes and clothes beyond repair. Again, I don't think this is a function of overconsumption so much as it's simply the waste that is left behind when an item becomes obsolete. These are the things that I hate trashing - not because I still want it in my house, not because it's been acquired without forethought. I'm not going to become an off the grid homesteader, but I guess my unrealistic desire is that more of our necessities and household items were meant to last longer. Everything is plastic and reaches a "just trash it" point.

NP. I keep a "treasure chest bin" in one of my kids' closets. Any of the junky toys we get goes to the treasure chest bin. When it's full I donate it to our preschool for treasure chest items. It's better than just throwing it away I figure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed! I am on the 'mental' hunt for a way to store my holiday napkins and tablecloths. I keep veering back to a plastic boot box. Already have it - so it won't cost anything.

Why does anyone need more than one Christmas tablecloth?

They have more than one table?

I use tablecloths every day. Christmas lasts at least four weeks in our house. I’m not using the same tablecloth every day for four weeks.

Interesting. I wasn’t aware people used tablecloths for normal days.

NP. I have a breakfast room and a dining room table. Both have tablecloths over Christmas. I have a lot of inherited, antique tablecloths. A few years ago, I just bought a clear plastic cover and put it over my antique tablecloths. Maybe it's tacky, but allowing my little kids to eat whatever they want and not getting upset over messes has been life changing. I typically wouldn't let little kids eat red pasta sauce on a 100 year old embroidered tablecloth. But now we just enjoy the tablecloths and the plastic wipes clean. They like eating fancy meals in our dining room over the holidays. They also really like using fancy china and crystal. When it's not the holidays I just have a thick clear table protector on our breakfast room table that we use, no tablecloth.

I pack our tablecloths up in our Christmas tubs and they go to the attic once Christmas is over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-Stop asking “do I need this?” and instead ask “can I live without this item? If I did not have this item what would I use instead?”

-get rid of any non-seasonal item you haven’t used in 3 months.

-get rid of any holiday/seasonal item you did not use the previous season.

-don’t get bogged down with the best place to sell or donate your crap. If it’s quick and easy to sell or donate, fine. But otherwise just trash it so you don’t lose momentum/motivation. The real goal is to get decluttered so that you feel the reward and don’t seek new stuff. It’s a pattern shift.

What if you can't get past the idea of throwing everything in the trash? I'm not a hoarder by any means, am basically organized, but when faced with the detritus of modern living, I hate to think of it sitting in a landfill.

You have to get past it. Give yourself permission and then vow to buy less and contribute less to the landfill. Sometimes you have to trash things. If you've ever cleaned out an entire house, you know there's just no getting around it. Also, I used to volunteer at a thrift shop. No one wants broken, incomplete, ripped, moldy, smelly or stained things, even people who can't afford more. There are some things that need to be thrown away. It's not healthy to hand onto things in the hope if their future use by someone.

I have a hard time with the landfill thing too. I try to deal with it by giving away a reasonable amount and then buying less. DH and I try to see if we can keep our trash can at 50% every week when we put it out.

I'm thinking of things like outdated electronics that no longer have a practical use, all of the plastic crap you get from kid birthday parties and events, a well-loved power wheels that won't work again, worn-out markers, shoes and clothes beyond repair. Again, I don't think this is a function of overconsumption so much as it's simply the waste that is left behind when an item becomes obsolete. These are the things that I hate trashing - not because I still want it in my house, not because it's been acquired without forethought. I'm not going to become an off the grid homesteader, but I guess my unrealistic desire is that more of our necessities and household items were meant to last longer. Everything is plastic and reaches a "just trash it" point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I follow a gal on instagram, and her big thing - it isn't YOU, it's your systems. So adjust your systems to your life.

For example, she is really big on mini trash cans. Where does trash pile up at your house? Maybe beside the sofa in the family room? Put a mini trash container (its like a small 4"x4" box) and leave it there. Now you can drop all your candy wrappers or whatever in there, and it still looks tidier and is easy to dump out.

Or if you have a landing zone at your front/back door where you leave everything. Instead of trying to train yourself to put it all away, just find a system that organizes it where you drop it. So a little system that has a hook for your keys, a container for your important mail, one for your junk mail, a basket with mitts/gloves, a place for your sunglasses, etc.

I think this makes sense. I'm stuck though. I have such small landing zones. Front door opens up to living room and back door to the kitchen. I'm at a loss on what to do with the backpacks, shoes, musical instruments, sports bags, etc. that end up there. And socks. So many socks.

I meant to post her insta but got side tracked. It's jenny.for.yourthoughts on insta. She just moved into a new place in NYC, so it might be relevant for you! She just did her small bathroom and nightstand, so very small areas.

No idea about socks though LOL. Maybe some sort of laundry hamper with hooks above? Backpacks and jackets on the hooks, socks or whatever in the hamper?

Thanks, I'll check it out.
Maybe a sock bag could help.