Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 19:01     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:I'd have a lot of questions and be worried something bad had happened or was happening to her. To live only 15 min away and all of a sudden want to move back in with parents and younger siblings is giving me some flags. She should be enjoying this time and her independence. She's so close she has barely flown the nest as is, I don't know why she would want to crawl back.


Look at all the negative snarl language you are using. I pity your kids.

There is nothing wrong with daughter wanting to move back. But this amount of angst about this means that you have messed up family life. Yikes.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 18:58     Subject: Re:Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:I've told my kids they are always welcome to move back home. I wouldn't have a problem with this.


Same.

Also, my kids understand the current job market and economic uncertainty that their generation is facing. So, they will continue living with us to save money if they are in the same area. No, we won't charge them for room and board.

My kids don't have bad habits and we all get along well. We are a laid back household and my kids are responsible and moral kids.

I would want my kids to be able to afford a home, marriage, kids, retirement, medical care, childcare, college for kids etc. So that means that living with us will get them an economic leg-up.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 18:51     Subject: Re:Daughter wants to move back home
Don’t see the issue with that.

Sounds like she’s responsible.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 15:11     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:OP, if she is lonely, she can come visit you guys a couple times a week and hang out with friends more. She should be working on building her own life - friends, marriage - not regressing to the nest.


This!
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 14:07     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
OP, if she is lonely, she can come visit you guys a couple times a week and hang out with friends more. She should be working on building her own life - friends, marriage - not regressing to the nest.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 14:02     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:DD is 25 (26 in Feb), has a good full-time job, is financially independent, and has finished her masters. She has a great social life, and a nice long term boyfriend. She’s been living on her own for a while, but now she says she prefers living at home and wants to move back in with us.
It took me by surprise at first because I thought she’d be really set on having her own space by now. But she says she feels more comfortable here and wants to live with us. We love having her around, but we do want her to be independent.

Has anyone else had an adult kid decide to move back in at this age after living alone, How did it go, and how did you navigate that situation? What should we should consider before making this decision?


She and her BF should move in together and get engaged.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 14:00     Subject: Re:Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:DD lived with roommates from ages 22-24 to avoid living alone, she thought she was ready for more at around 24.5, but she ended up feeling more isolated than she expected. She isn’t avoiding any adult responsibilities, and moving back home won’t impact her relationship. She knows not to move in with a boyfriend until engagement or full on marriage, and her boyfriend knows that’s her plan. She’s always really honest with us, nothing bad is happening—she just wants to be closer to family for a while before she fully transitions into her own family life when the time comes. -OP


It’s possible all is fine, but it does seem a little unusual to want to return home to live with one’s parents (who are just 15 minutes away) at her age, especially with a good job, serious boyfriend, and active social life. Even if it’s just a bit of homesickness, perhaps wise to be gently observant if something else is going on? As you noted in your original post, encouraging her to build an independent life is important:

It took me by surprise at first because I thought she’d be really set on having her own space by now. But she says she feels more comfortable here and wants to live with us. We love having her around, but we do want her to be independent.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 10:26     Subject: Re:Daughter wants to move back home
DD lived with roommates from ages 22-24 to avoid living alone, she thought she was ready for more at around 24.5, but she ended up feeling more isolated than she expected. She isn’t avoiding any adult responsibilities, and moving back home won’t impact her relationship. She knows not to move in with a boyfriend until engagement or full on marriage, and her boyfriend knows that’s her plan. She’s always really honest with us, nothing bad is happening—she just wants to be closer to family for a while before she fully transitions into her own family life when the time comes. -OP
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 09:47     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
I'd have a lot of questions and be worried something bad had happened or was happening to her. To live only 15 min away and all of a sudden want to move back in with parents and younger siblings is giving me some flags. She should be enjoying this time and her independence. She's so close she has barely flown the nest as is, I don't know why she would want to crawl back.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 08:43     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
I would say yes and do not make her contribute financially unless a necessity- she obviously loves you and misses you all.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 08:41     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:Seems fine, honestly. Some people don't like living alone and roommates can be got it miss.

I would have her pay some amount if rent and deposit it in a HYSA that she will get as a gift towards a down payment or wedding when she moves out.

I would also discuss household contributions before hand, like cooking, cleaning, keeping rooms tidy, etc. A HS or college kid I'd feel comfortable saying "put your laundry away and you have to help with dinner." A 25/26 year old I would not want to *have* to tell her these things and would be resentful if she fell into teenage behavior of slacking in those areas, so I'd want to feel comfortable that she understands the difference between being a kid in our house and being a contributing adult.


+1 I would ask for financial contributions even if I didn’t need it.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 08:33     Subject: Re:Daughter wants to move back home
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:While you don’t need the money, I would still charge her at least $500/month. Put the money aside and apply it towards the upcoming wedding that you anticipate in a few months/year.


This charging and then returning it later is infantilizing. Either ask for a contribution or skip it.


No. If you let her move back you at least want to help her maintain financial discipline so that she’s settling aside an amount equivalent to rent every month. Could be “rent” to you or HSA/extra 401k/ira/etc, but you don’t want to put her in a position where moving out later would be a significant step down in lifestyle if she had to budget for rent.
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 03:43     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
Is she trying to escape her adult responsibilities and the natural progression of their relationship? At 26, her bf shouldn’t be “sleeping over”, he should be proposing and they should be having kids and their own place. At 40 she’s going to be trying and trying to conceive and who knows with whom. Tell her to stop that nonsense and settle down with her man and have kids!
Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 03:37     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
I would absolutely be okay with this, as long as she’s saving or investing a significant portion of her income. It can take young adults a long time to save the first 100K, so if you can knock that out early and quickly, it will have big advantages later on.

Anonymous
Post 12/26/2025 01:24     Subject: Daughter wants to move back home
Absolutely. This is why successful immigrant communities do well. It makes no sense for her to pay $2-3k a month in rent when she lives 15 minutes away and wants to live at home. In a year she would save 25k and in two years 50k.

I lived at home when started teaching. I was able to live at home and save money for graduate school from ages 25-27. Turns out I got a scholarship so graduate school ended up being free. I was able to use the money I saved for a down payment for a house.