Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP: My problem is that no one discusses gift giving and then shows up with gifts. My sil has brought small gifts to Xmas Eve but if we don't discuss before I don't bring anything, so there I was with nothing last night while she and mil lined the living room with little bags.


I don't appreciate the "assumption" that gifts will be given.

Respectfully, as a fellow Catholic, the fact that gifts are not discussed and then everyone brings gifts, means that the default and expected standard in your family is to give gifts, even without discussion

Yes, the work gifts were a surprise, that’s fair, but family gifts are expected of everyone in your family.

There are plenty of gifts that fall within Laudato Si, you have to make an effort to get them

Forgot to mention three years ago I showed up with gifts and sil says to me "we aren't exchanging gifts this year". The inconsistency and lack of communication drives me crazy!!!! How hard is it to text or talk at Thanksgiving about what we are doing for gifts!?!? SIL is the one who likes to shop, not me. Given that we brought nothing for her stepson, we will send something in the mail but I will text her and tell her that going forward we can exchange gifts for the kids but no adult gift exchanging. Fact that SIL and MIL aren't my favorite people and I'm sick of DH's family dynamic doesn't help. And Pope Francis said, "Consumption is the sign of an empty heart." IMO no gift giving falls within Laudato Si.

You are further on the journey to enlightenment than most of us.

I’m not being snarky when I say that.

I received an unexpected gift in the mail Christmas Eve from a friend who I no longer live close to. I appreciated the thought so much and will use the gift as much as I can. We haven’t exchanged gifts in years, but what a sweet surprise. Just be grateful and give away things you don’t want.

PP: Wish I lived near you, I would take the Ninja off your hands even though I have a galley kitchen. 😁

^ The giver got what they wanted

Sorry for the typos!

Anonymous wrote:We are approaching retirement and trying to downsize our household and most of these gifts are just more clutter. I feel guilty donating gifts. I have shelves of boxed gadgets, small appliances, candles and bowls, glasses - unused. All gifts. Wasted money. Future landfill.

We want to stop the gift exchanges except for grand children, but there are too many compulsive shoppers that love to shop. Stop the insanity!

Just drop it all off at Goodwill. The giver got that the unwanted out of this, which was treating you to a gift and feeling good about it. Nobody will ever know what you do about it. You aren't obligated to find a use or a storage space for every (or even any) gift that comes into your house. A gift isn't a gift if it's burdening you.

Anonymous wrote:get over yourself. do you take airplane flights? drive when you technically could make the bus and train work? these toys, even if directly sent to landfill, do not matter.

if it makes your minimalist aesthetic look bad, make them keep in their bedroom.

Bad analogy. What matters is that OP is teaching her kids that stuff = love.