Anonymous wrote:Wake Forest, Holy Cross, Colby, and Colgate.

I hope you’re right! We looked at HC, Colby, Colgate among others SLACs, and DC picked Colgate ED. I worry because Colgate seems to have a more ‘pre-professonal’ focus, and I wonder if all the pre-law, finance, premed kids create a competitive culture.

I do think each category of schools has a few schools that are more relaxed, for example, Harvard vs Stanford; Swarthmore vs Pomona; etc. But the super achievers and the grinders exist everywhere. And some kids don’t have the perspective to realize the race never ends.

Oberlin
Sewanee

Anonymous wrote:Can you please suggest colleges for a bright person but without the rat race mentality that is still prestigious?

Bright? Sure. T50-100

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that use the word "striver" when talking about teenagers?

I guess Muffy and Buffy now actually need to study. Tragic. The world is collapsing.

One can study hard and do well without being a total stress case who is constantly saying "what did you get?" and running over peers in order to be #1.

Either 1) you are a striver, or 2) you have been fortunate not to encounter too many of them. They are truly miserable.

Whatever. To strive, if you actually look at a dictionary means, to make a vigorous, determined effort to achieve a goal, often involving hard work, perseverance, and overcoming challenges. Being a striver is a good thing.

I feel like some of these "anti-striver" posts are coded from people who don't want their kids around too many Asians (the way some people didn't want their kids to go to school with Jews in the 1950s.)

Again why is stiver only linked to certain race?

I’m Asian, and even I feel uncomfortable being surrounded by this kind of environment. I see a lot of toxicity—people humble-bragging (like saying they “did terribly” but still got a 99), constantly chasing teachers to curve grades, and complaining about homework and grades while simultaneously demanding to be placed in the most rigorous classes.

Not everyone perceives the world as a zero-sum surviving game.

It's not linked to a certain race or ethnicity. It's more of the "haves" being threatened by the work ethic of the have nots who have to work harder to increase their economic and social status.

Ok that makes sense. In that case, you have quite a lot of them

Anonymous wrote:I went to Duke and when I went to a top tier professional school, it was very clear how much more relaxed and comfortable in their own skin the Duke alums than people from almost every other school (while still being top achievers). We got our work done very well with much less drama than others.

Unfortunately, I think Duke has a lot more strivers now than it used to. Which is really too bad. I think a non-striver can still be happy there if they can avoid getting sucked in.

This is satire, right?

Anonymous wrote:Can you please suggest colleges for a bright person but without the rat race mentality that is still prestigious?

OP, am I right that you’re looking for prestige as a primary component? Not sure how prestigious is prestigious enough, but a problem with that formulation is that often the schools widely acknowledged as prestigious will draw the strivers.

If you’re looking for quality over prestige, there are lots of options.

Providence
Elon
Marquette
Suffolk
Pace
St joes
Delaware
College of Charleston
Furman
JMU
UMBC
Fla State

Is this code for not too many Asians?

Lil Johnny or Jody will be okay with a little competition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that use the word "striver" when talking about teenagers?

I guess Muffy and Buffy now actually need to study. Tragic. The world is collapsing.

One can study hard and do well without being a total stress case who is constantly saying "what did you get?" and running over peers in order to be #1.

Either 1) you are a striver, or 2) you have been fortunate not to encounter too many of them. They are truly miserable.

Whatever. To strive, if you actually look at a dictionary means, to make a vigorous, determined effort to achieve a goal, often involving hard work, perseverance, and overcoming challenges. Being a striver is a good thing.

I feel like some of these "anti-striver" posts are coded from people who don't want their kids around too many Asians (the way some people didn't want their kids to go to school with Jews in the 1950s.)

Again why is stiver only linked to certain race?

I’m Asian, and even I feel uncomfortable being surrounded by this kind of environment. I see a lot of toxicity—people humble-bragging (like saying they “did terribly” but still got a 99), constantly chasing teachers to curve grades, and complaining about homework and grades while simultaneously demanding to be placed in the most rigorous classes.

Not everyone perceives the world as a zero-sum surviving game.

It's not linked to a certain race or ethnicity. It's more of the "haves" being threatened by the work ethic of the have nots who have to work harder to increase their economic and social status.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that use the word "striver" when talking about teenagers?

I guess Muffy and Buffy now actually need to study. Tragic. The world is collapsing.

One can study hard and do well without being a total stress case who is constantly saying "what did you get?" and running over peers in order to be #1.

Either 1) you are a striver, or 2) you have been fortunate not to encounter too many of them. They are truly miserable.

Whatever. To strive, if you actually look at a dictionary means, to make a vigorous, determined effort to achieve a goal, often involving hard work, perseverance, and overcoming challenges. Being a striver is a good thing.

I feel like some of these "anti-striver" posts are coded from people who don't want their kids around too many Asians (the way some people didn't want their kids to go to school with Jews in the 1950s.)

Again why is stiver only linked to certain race?

I’m Asian, and even I feel uncomfortable being surrounded by this kind of environment. I see a lot of toxicity—people humble-bragging (like saying they “did terribly” but still got a 99), constantly chasing teachers to curve grades, and complaining about homework and grades while simultaneously demanding to be placed in the most rigorous classes.

Not everyone perceives the world as a zero-sum surviving game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that use the word "striver" when talking about teenagers?

I guess Muffy and Buffy now actually need to study. Tragic. The world is collapsing.

One can study hard and do well without being a total stress case who is constantly saying "what did you get?" and running over peers in order to be #1.

Either 1) you are a striver, or 2) you have been fortunate not to encounter too many of them. They are truly miserable.

Whatever. To strive, if you actually look at a dictionary means, to make a vigorous, determined effort to achieve a goal, often involving hard work, perseverance, and overcoming challenges. Being a striver is a good thing.

I feel like some of these "anti-striver" posts are coded from people who don't want their kids around too many Asians (the way some people didn't want their kids to go to school with Jews in the 1950s.)

Don't agree with the "Asian" part, but agree they don't want to be around kids who actually care about studying.

One can "care about studying" while also maintaining balance in their life, without being an insufferable suck-up know-it-all, and while having conversations about things other than school and grades. Do great but "act like you've been there before."

Also, notice how Jews were known for being strivers and that stereotype has faded away? Most (but not all) Jews learned how to play the game - there are tons of super smart, very high achieving Jews out there, but they tend to be less in-your-face about it than they used to be. And there are plenty of Asians and other minorities who also do this. The world isn't so binary.

And there are plenty of white Christian’s students, too. People are complex.

In the end, our kids will encounter a mix of personalities at whatever college they attend. Just like in high school. Just like we have in the workplace.

Our kids will find their people in college, whatever that means to them in that moment in time. They may even grow/evolve/change over those four years. Their classmates may do the same. It’s a dynamic situation, for sure.

Broad assessments and stereotypes can only take you so far. Go visit schools. Talk to current students. Teach your kid how to put themselves out there so they will meet lots of different people in order to find ones they click with.

And for goodness sake, teach them that we are all complex people, and two things can be true at a time. No one is “just” a striver or non-striver, whatever those terms mean to you. Look for what you seek in friends and you will find it. Especially in a college full of other kids looking to do the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wesleyan is Woke Central.

It really isn't, or at least not compared to many other schools. But the stereotype persists. Wesleyan is left-leaning, yes, but there is room for discussion and it's not aggressively activist.

Like Pavlov’s dog, this troll can’t help but chime in with this nonsense every time Wes is mentioned. It’s either the aggrieved MAGA lax bro mom, or someone who has no connection to or real insight about the campus at all. Such a tired take.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that use the word "striver" when talking about teenagers?

I guess Muffy and Buffy now actually need to study. Tragic. The world is collapsing.

One can study hard and do well without being a total stress case who is constantly saying "what did you get?" and running over peers in order to be #1.

Either 1) you are a striver, or 2) you have been fortunate not to encounter too many of them. They are truly miserable.

Whatever. To strive, if you actually look at a dictionary means, to make a vigorous, determined effort to achieve a goal, often involving hard work, perseverance, and overcoming challenges. Being a striver is a good thing.

I feel like some of these "anti-striver" posts are coded from people who don't want their kids around too many Asians (the way some people didn't want their kids to go to school with Jews in the 1950s.)

The word as it used in this context does not exactly match the dictionary definition. Language evolves faster than dictionaries are rewritten.

Don't want their kids around too many Asians?!

Striver workplaces are also miserable. Oops! Am I racist for saying that?

Anonymous wrote:Wesleyan is Woke Central.

It really isn't, or at least not compared to many other schools. But the stereotype persists. Wesleyan is left-leaning, yes, but there is room for discussion and it's not aggressively activist.