Anonymous
12/21/2025 17:09
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Move on. Get excited about actual acceptances.
This.
Try to get excited about actual acceptances.
If they get accepted during RD, great but moving them away from the waitlist school in a non-sour grapes way is a good idea.
Going to a less competitive school can either be an opportunity to really be a big fish in a smaller pond or a bitter grumpy sourpuss upset that they didn't get into their dream school sabotaging themselves our of spite.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 17:04
Subject: Re:Deferral -- managing expectations
My friend’s kid goes to a private feeder school. The college counselor at the school calls for every single kid to every single admissions office to build them up. Does it for ED (or equivalent), EA or RD. Does it again for waitlist and deferral. Friend’s kid was denied to two schools so far. So it must help (the results every year are impressive) but it is not a guarantee or even a help for all.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 17:04
Subject: Re:Deferral -- managing expectations
Just because a school accepted 5 students every other year doesn’t bind them to accepting the same number this year.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 17:00
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP is at a private school. I would say yes it's promising.
Colleges have to yield protect. When they pull kids from the deferral to admit, they will call the private high school counselors first, and they will get a clear idea whether the deferee will attend if admitted.
I know cases this has been done before RD results come out. Good luck.
We are at a feeder private, this is a rare result. More commonly a deferral for a legacy is a soft rejection.
More common at our feeder.
It may be a soft no for a legacy, particularly a Cornell legacy. However, how is this relevant to OP? She is not a legacy.
OP is the top kid among the deferrals at her school, and it sounds like their school counselor is all in advocating for her. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a case for RD admit as long as this college remains OP's top choice.
But sounds like counselor previously and unsuccessfully lobbied for kid so not sure that future support will do much.
Maybe. But OP also mentioned that they have the typical max number of ED spots already admitted so maybe they are managing slots to RD.
She didn’t say this. She said they typically take a total of 4-5 every year and in ED they took 2-3 this year…which is less than usual. So the CC is advocating for all students equally, the CC advocated more for students who got in, the college is rejecting the CC’s recommendations, etc.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:59
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
From the perspective of a parent with children attending regular public schools, some private school parents sound super entitled about college admissions.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:56
Subject: Re:Deferral -- managing expectations
My kid is at a feeder private and most if not all of these so called discussions are bs. The school counselor is telling op what she wants to hear, which is they have been telling her all along. Keep her happy even though kid did not get the result she wanted. Nothing was said between the counselors that is going to change outcomes.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:43
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Public school mom here - how does a school become a feeder school? I assume that’s just with private colleges? As others have said, our counselor is so overwhelmed, we were just happy she got the rec letter in on time! And why is this allowed ?
+1
It is almost, but not entirely, private high schools. They align their curriculum to what top colleges are seeking, i.e. AP classes and the students take the AP exams, they actually have tough grading so colleges can distinguish the top students and respect the occasional B, they discipline students for cheating/other behavior issues and their students matriculate to the colleges and perform well. They have counselors (and teachers) who know the students so their recommendation letters matter (they also know the AO's at the colleges and will advocate appropriately for students/answer questions if the AO's have them). In short they produce students who are pretty much guaranteed to graduate from the colleges they are admitted to.
So how are public applicants regarded without all of this curated preparation? I don't mean this in a judgmental way, just trying to understand how college admissions would evaluate a public school applicant without all of this extra support vs. a private school applicant such as what you outline above?
TBH I think it is harder for public school applicants, unless they come from rural/desirable geographies.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:40
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:This an a big reason why people use private schools. A large percentage of waitlist movement at top schools will be private for this reason.
I should have assumed this was obvious . . . disheartening, but I guess no surprise. Thanks for the insight.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:38
Subject: Re:Deferral -- managing expectations
My DD got a lot of deferrals last year, and ended up getting accepted to most in the end.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:28
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
This an a big reason why people use private schools. A large percentage of waitlist movement at top schools will be private for this reason.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:13
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Public school mom here - how does a school become a feeder school? I assume that’s just with private colleges? As others have said, our counselor is so overwhelmed, we were just happy she got the rec letter in on time! And why is this allowed ?
+1
It is almost, but not entirely, private high schools. They align their curriculum to what top colleges are seeking, i.e. AP classes and the students take the AP exams, they actually have tough grading so colleges can distinguish the top students and respect the occasional B, they discipline students for cheating/other behavior issues and their students matriculate to the colleges and perform well. They have counselors (and teachers) who know the students so their recommendation letters matter (they also know the AO's at the colleges and will advocate appropriately for students/answer questions if the AO's have them). In short they produce students who are pretty much guaranteed to graduate from the colleges they are admitted to.
So how are public applicants regarded without all of this curated preparation? I don't mean this in a judgmental way, just trying to understand how college admissions would evaluate a public school applicant without all of this extra support vs. a private school applicant such as what you outline above?
Anonymous
12/21/2025 16:08
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP is at a private school. I would say yes it's promising.
Colleges have to yield protect. When they pull kids from the deferral to admit, they will call the private high school counselors first, and they will get a clear idea whether the deferee will attend if admitted.
I know cases this has been done before RD results come out. Good luck.
Privates only? Or do they call counselors at publics, too? What about private for-pay counselors reaching out proactively? (for kids in public schools with school counselors who lack the connections/relationships of the private school coubselors.)
Anonymous
12/21/2025 14:26
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
OP, is your information from the high school counselor reaching out to the AO or vice versa?
Was it the regional AO who reached out, or a more senior team member?
Was it the regional AO who reached out, or a more senior team member?
Anonymous
12/21/2025 14:06
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Public school mom here - how does a school become a feeder school? I assume that’s just with private colleges? As others have said, our counselor is so overwhelmed, we were just happy she got the rec letter in on time! And why is this allowed ?
+1
It is almost, but not entirely, private high schools. They align their curriculum to what top colleges are seeking, i.e. AP classes and the students take the AP exams, they actually have tough grading so colleges can distinguish the top students and respect the occasional B, they discipline students for cheating/other behavior issues and their students matriculate to the colleges and perform well. They have counselors (and teachers) who know the students so their recommendation letters matter (they also know the AO's at the colleges and will advocate appropriately for students/answer questions if the AO's have them). In short they produce students who are pretty much guaranteed to graduate from the colleges they are admitted to.
Anonymous
12/21/2025 13:54
Subject: Deferral -- managing expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sounds like OP is at a private school. I would say yes it's promising.
Colleges have to yield protect. When they pull kids from the deferral to admit, they will call the private high school counselors first, and they will get a clear idea whether the deferee will attend if admitted.
I know cases this has been done before RD results come out. Good luck.
We are at a feeder private, this is a rare result. More commonly a deferral for a legacy is a soft rejection.
More common at our feeder.
It may be a soft no for a legacy, particularly a Cornell legacy. However, how is this relevant to OP? She is not a legacy.
OP is the top kid among the deferrals at her school, and it sounds like their school counselor is all in advocating for her. I wouldn't be surprised if this is a case for RD admit as long as this college remains OP's top choice.
But sounds like counselor previously and unsuccessfully lobbied for kid so not sure that future support will do much.
I think OP said the school is "shifting" ed seats to rd. Hooked ones have priority, they got in first. She got the deferral exactly because the previous strong support. I can imagine if their high school doesnt have two legacies this year, she would be in in the ED round. So, RD is promising.