Anonymous
12/20/2025 11:31
Subject: “Really great man = average woman”
My ex left me for a coworker while I was still raising our kids. He got and apartment where he lived with her and paid all her credit card bills and I never told his parents or our kids while they were still growing up.
When the youngest one turned 18 and went off to college I said "guess what SURPRISE !!" and left them all with their new SIL. I was just done.
The cool thing is that he actually did step up to take care of all the parent stuff that I'd been handling before. I basically said, "it's your turn now"
Turns out he was never so great with kids. But he's great with adult-ish problems. Parking tickets? Car accidents? Buying vehicles? Negotiating housing? That's his bailiwick
There was so much stuff I had to handle without him for years ... now he can do it.
When the youngest one turned 18 and went off to college I said "guess what SURPRISE !!" and left them all with their new SIL. I was just done.
The cool thing is that he actually did step up to take care of all the parent stuff that I'd been handling before. I basically said, "it's your turn now"
Turns out he was never so great with kids. But he's great with adult-ish problems. Parking tickets? Car accidents? Buying vehicles? Negotiating housing? That's his bailiwick
There was so much stuff I had to handle without him for years ... now he can do it.
Anonymous
12/20/2025 09:14
Subject: “Really great man = average woman”
Anonymous wrote:DS had a cub scout pot luck once. You had to provide a list of ingredients next to your dish. I told exDH that I wanted to bring Manwich but I obviously couldn't. He stepped up and said he would do it. He made it and stuck it in a crockpot to keep warm and put the can next to the crockpot. The bags of buns were placed next to the crockpot.
People were fawning over him saying what a great idea, it was delicious, and of course, it was all gone. Had I walked in with the crockpot, I would have been eviscerated for putting in so little effort.
My DH once showed up with 50 hot dogs from Costco that he had microwaved in a casserole pan, some buns, and a squeeze bottle of ketchup. He was treated a hero. I do think it's kind of genius.
Anonymous
12/20/2025 09:14
Subject: Re:“Really great man = average woman”
1) Most of this is related to religion and politics, not sex. If you date someone with conservative values, they are going to treat the marriage like it is 1950.
2) I'm a guy who would be considered a DCUM-certified "really great man" in these terms. I've never been complimented on doing mundane things, nor has my wife ever relayed to me a compliment from a peer. And the reason for that? I'm not attractive. What's really happening here, beyond #1, is that women who married for looks/excitement are impressed/jealous that other men do things that their guy won't.
2) I'm a guy who would be considered a DCUM-certified "really great man" in these terms. I've never been complimented on doing mundane things, nor has my wife ever relayed to me a compliment from a peer. And the reason for that? I'm not attractive. What's really happening here, beyond #1, is that women who married for looks/excitement are impressed/jealous that other men do things that their guy won't.