Anonymous wrote:We are in our 50s and do, and overall we both prefer it. DH thinks it harms our intimacy, but I don’t. We have as much sex as before, and it’s not like we were otherwise cuddling or talking in bed when we slept together.

We have talking time and that happens when we go for our daily drive and daily walk. DH also loves to talk on his commute to-fro from work. I am SAH. Kids have flown the coop (though still unmarried)...so we have each other.

Anonymous wrote:I tried to gently suggest this, telling DH his folks did this. His come back eas, “ Yeah. When they were old.” We’re old, 63. He keeps vetoing thus. I wonder how many couples do sleep/have separate rooms. Gwyneth Paltrow has a separate house from her husband!

I am very happily married for 35 years. I have been sleeping in a different room than my DH for the past 10. I am a better, healthier, more loving and tolerant person when I have had a good night sleep.

Sex is frequent & fulfilling and cuddling/kissing is a daily ritual. Usually happens in early morning after both of us have had a good night sleep.

We are in our 50s and do, and overall we both prefer it. DH thinks it harms our intimacy, but I don’t. We have as much sex as before, and it’s not like we were otherwise cuddling or talking in bed when we slept together.

Anonymous wrote:It is so interesting to me how many women prefer this and how many men feel sad! I am in the same position. Why is that? I feel like it must be an ego thing or power play, but maybe its just that middle age women need and value sleep more.

My wife and I no longer sleep in the same bed. That's been for the best, but I miss the intimacy of the last conversations before bed and I miss having her right beside me, because I love her and like to be with her. I think we can do better than attribute every thing men do to ego, power, and sex. We're actual people.

Anonymous wrote:It is so interesting to me how many women prefer this and how many men feel sad! I am in the same position. Why is that? I feel like it must be an ego thing or power play, but maybe its just that middle age women need and value sleep more.

Men still holding out hope for more sex vs women more likely to have sleep disturbed by men.

It is so interesting to me how many women prefer this and how many men feel sad! I am in the same position. Why is that? I feel like it must be an ego thing or power play, but maybe its just that middle age women need and value sleep more.

Phew the Mrs Sep Bedroom-ers def are in first place.

Case closed.

We got in the habit of sleeping in different rooms when we had babies. I slept with each baby and attended to them. Then we stuck with the arrangement for a few years. My DH wanted us back in the same room so we switched to a king bed and that made a significant difference. We both sleep pretty well now, but my preference would still be to sleep in separate beds. For me, it’s annoying to have to be silent and still during the night if I wake up for some reason. I just want to be able to toss and turn without worrying about disturbing someone.

separate room, separate life, single while married

Yup, wife is a Dr. and is on call overnight often so she essentially has her "call room". Even when we're in the same bed we do the different blankets/king size bed because we each like our own space.

We both really value our sleep!

Anonymous wrote:40s and yes, separate bedrooms. I sleep with the dogs.
We go to bed at vastly different times and are both fistful sleepers who sometimes snore. Every time we share a hotel bed we are reminded why this arrangement works best for us.

Same here. We are very happy and have sex 1-3 times a week. In his bed bc it’s a king mattress.

40s and yes, separate bedrooms. I sleep with the dogs.
We go to bed at vastly different times and are both fistful sleepers who sometimes snore. Every time we share a hotel bed we are reminded why this arrangement works best for us.

We are 59 and sleep together, which is fine, but I would HAPPILY sleep alone. DH would be sad about it. We don't have the space anyway, so it's moot.

I'd say about 75% of my similar-age friends sleep apart from their DHs.

We started with separate rooms, that worked out well, separate houses has been an even bigger upgrade.

Anonymous wrote:I honestly think if a woman is not sleeping in a separate room by mid-50s, it's because the husband does not allow it and they don't have the spine to do it anyway. So if the marriage for you is about a submissive wife, then sure, sleep in the same bed and stay awake.

I love this!