Guy here and I don't understand people who get angry about stuff like this. You made a mistake, so what. My reaction, would be "it's fine no big deal, do you need anything from the store."

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is new - could be related to perimenopause. Brain fog is real. Read Mary Clark Havers' The New Menopause (covers peri too), research brain fog in peri too (lots of info out there). You educated yourself, you educate your husband, you two together develop strategies to prevent it.

Op here. He’s one of those people who is high skeptical of pmd, he’ll never believe in any brain fog related to menopause.

He doesn’t believe in “excuses.” He’s like, just develop strategies for being better.

To add to this, he’s one of those people who prides himself on never getting sick or if he is sick, works from home instead of taking the day off.

He’s that kind of person. Highly perfectionistic. He’s climbed the ranks of his company and is now the boss. Guess who ordered everyone back to the office. That’s who I’m dealing with.

Continually making stupid mistakes like this is repulsive to him.

Oh, you're married to the guy everyone hates. I always wondered what kind of person married them.

Her husband probably isn't even that bad. .she just wants people to feel bad for her. All she's done is whine and make excuses

If he is responsible for RTO, then yes, everyone hates him.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Switch roles. He makes appts, you take them. Or you develop systems. You call a few days ahead of an appt to confirm it. If you make in person, they write it on a card.

I did and I do!

Idk how this is possible but I thought today was December 9.

(To be fair though I have a really bad head cold right now that is making me woozy). Our kids had it before me and each has to take 2 or days off from school.

This doesn't even make sense to me. So you knew the appt was the 9th. Don't you two have a shared calendar? Also why would your DH take the 8th off if you KNEW the appt was on the 9th?

Because I home sick today. I do these appointments normally.

We don’t share a calendar.

This is actually solve all your problems. This is such a time saver for our family. If you don't want a shared calender, make a google calender event and then invite him to it when he needs to be there. Then it will be on his calendar (i'm sure he has one).

You need some systems.

I think it is really hard to assess from this post whether you really do screw up all the time or if you are just beaten down by an overly critical husband. I really would suggest that you talk to a therapist about the dynamics in your relationship with lots of specific examples and also get an ADHD assessment. Because whether or not you are screwing things up, you could also have a jackass for a husband.

I’m the super high functioning one with an ADHD husband. I’m overly critical at times. He doesn’t do enough to compensate sometimes. We have both gotten much better about this over the 20 years we have been together. I will also say that menopausal brain fog has made me appreciate how hard it is when your executive functioning just isn’t there. My husband and I joke around about how everything is going to fall apart now that I’m making dumb mistakes too all the time — scheduling mishaps, screwing up a flight reservation, etc.

And your husband not extending any grace when you are sick sounds terrible to me.