My 15 year old is 6'2" and athletic but has terrible grades (and tutors). That height isn't going to help him overcome being declared academically ineligible for high school sports.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

I know in the scheme of things, it’s a huge blessing to just have a healthy kid, but in reality parents want their kids to have advantages.

And for boys, height is a factor in that. Sports, dating, careers, etc, height is undeniably an advantage. Is it the only thing? No, of course not. But it’s something.

When it’s *your* son who is the smallest in his class, even most of the girls are taller, who is trying to stay in a sport he loves but is a boy up against men, or is enduring regular comments and teasing, it’s tough. Your heart breaks for your kid.

I mean, all kids have challenges of one sort or another. My DS2 was a very late bloomer. He ended up over 6', but yes, the fact that he was short through middle school and much of high school affected his athletic "career." OTOH, that career was likely going to end when he graduated from high school regardless (as the careers of most high school athletes do), so how big a deal is this in the scheme of things? Is it more of a "heartbreak" than his best friend who had terrible, terrible acne? Or his friend who really struggled with classwork? My DS1 was not so late of a bloomer and might have taken advantage of his height....but he was a tall kid with not a lot of athletic ability, so that was a different kind of disappointment.

Either way, they're both in their 20s now, over 6' and neither with a girlfriend in quite some time while shorter friends are paired up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DS1 - 10 inches in middle school, 3 in high school, 2 in college; huge spurt in 8th grade such that he had stretch marks on his back from the rapid growth (they eventually faded). Continued to grow through college, but at a much slower rate, stopping at about 6'1.

DS2 never grew taller than DS1 was in 8th grade, so not the same genetic pattern.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

How tall are your sons?

Why does that matter though? You just want a misery stew with fellow parents of short sons?

It was already given away that person doesn’t have short sons. It’s like a rich person telling a poorer one that money isn’t so great and to stop worrying about it.

Probably the mom of a “super tall” seventh grader who is 5’8. And is done growing so will forever remain 5’8. But at least he’s the star of the middle school basketball team!

Lolz

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you all remember this stuff? I know what the annual ped exam says but honestly, I can't remember how tall my 15 yr old was at his last ped appt.

This.
The obsession w male height is real.

I really think it’s the shift in youth sports culture. For boys especially, being a late bloomer has a huge effect on whether or not they can stay competitive in MS/HS sports. There is a major coach preference for early developers, and the nature of male puberty is such that it is impossible for the boys who have not gone through puberty to keep up with those who have. It’s not even primarily about height or size (although those help in some sports), it’s about development. For boys, the growth spurt usually takes place during the later part of puberty, so it coincides with a huge increase in strength, power, endurance, agility, etc. It’s very difficult for the boys on the later side of gaining these advantages, especially if they are athletes.

It’s also a shift in calling all of these boys athletes instead of just like to play sports. Before the club play for money phase everyone knew who the athletes were and who the kids who just loved to play sports were. You could watch pick up games and see the one or two talented kids. Now parents think they can create athletes with coaches and running around everywhere to compete. It doesn’t work that way. It’s still the few boys you can pick out of the crowd.

Give your kids a break. There are a handful of spots in high school basketball, hockey, soccer, baseball. Don’t talk about their height or strength or any part of their physical abilities. If they enjoy sports there will be a spot for them. Encourage them to enjoy their sport wherever they play.

Of course boys who play sports are athletes. I agree with both of these posts and will add that so many reclassifying these days that my son who will start freshman year as 14 and 4 months will need to be in his growth spurt to play. He can’t afford to be 5’3” and I don’t know if he will be that or 5’7”.

That’s a problem. Parents who sign their kid up for 3rd grade soccer every Saturday and calling them athletes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

How tall are your sons?

Why does that matter though? You just want a misery stew with fellow parents of short sons?

It was already given away that person doesn’t have short sons. It’s like a rich person telling a poorer one that money isn’t so great and to stop worrying about it.

Probably the mom of a “super tall” seventh grader who is 5’8. And is done growing so will forever remain 5’8. But at least he’s the star of the middle school basketball team!

Anonymous wrote:Midgets stew in misery

Tall people have shorter life expectancy.

Midgets stew in misery

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

How tall are your sons?

Why does that matter though? You just want a misery stew with fellow parents of short sons?

It was already given away that person doesn’t have short sons. It’s like a rich person telling a poorer one that money isn’t so great and to stop worrying about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

How tall are your sons?

Why does that matter though? You just want a misery stew with fellow parents of short sons?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

You’re actually the one who sounds clueless and bothered. For many parents of boys, it’s not even about height. It’s about development, and in our weird youth sports obsessed culture being a late bloomer is a huge disadvantage that can completely remove very talented boys from the sports they love and are important parts of their physical and mental health. These boys usually end up taller than the early developers in the end, so height is not ultimately the issue. But by the time they go through puberty and develop, it is too late for their sport and they have also endured years of ridicule and rejection based on their (temporary) smaller size.

This is the issue not your son being late to puberty, which has gone on since the dawn of time. Someone is on the later end to puberty.

First, there are so many things to pursue and do other than sports. If you're going to do sports, THE PARENTS create this mania and dynamic by putting Johnny in very early travel sports and making it their entire identity - both kids and parents. Some people don't do this. Really. There are rec sports to play and more low-key athletic activities. Rec basketball through high school is thriving where I live in Arlington. Rec soccer continues. X-country and track take all kids. Tennis is pretty low barrier to entry at high school level even at the large high schools. Golf. Crew is a great option to start as late as high school at any size.

Short mom of a short boy who also has a relatively short dad (5'7").

My kid is finally taller than me at almost 15 (I'm 5'4") and I'm relieved by that for his sake. I think he will likely grow at least 3 more inches, which is consistent with his curve on the growth chart.

He wants to be taller than 5'7" or 5'8" but that's probably not in the cards. He's not an athlete so that's not a concern. I hear the concerns about dating, etc., but I've known plenty of guys in my life who are short who are attractive and successful.

I think he'll be fine.

Almost-15yo DS had been growing 3 inches per year forever, based on the pencil marks on the door frame we make every birthday. This past year he has slowed, and I expect it'll be only 1-2 inches when we measure in a few weeks. He's about 5'10". It's nice to not have to constantly buy new clothes and shoes! (His shoe size has remained the same for over a year!)

Anonymous wrote:The energy from parents of short boys is unmatched. It is awful really. I get why they feel this way but the palpable angst about it is a lot.

It’s sick

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you all remember this stuff? I know what the annual ped exam says but honestly, I can't remember how tall my 15 yr old was at his last ped appt.

This.
The obsession w male height is real.

There's obviously some concern with male height, but also I think it's pretty normal to remember or at least record how tall your kid is? I make a note of it in my records, and I've only got daughters. It's just a fact I keep track of because sometimes I want to know.