Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 08:16     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your kid doesn’t have ADHD, congrats to you. Some of us are trying to help our kids apply to college or else they might not even go. And maybe they’ll fail out once they’re there. I hope you are extra smug when we have to tell you about that.


Why do you care if they’re smug? That doesn’t change the fact that your kid has ADHD. You will always have to be involved like this, even when your kid is an adult. Are you going to resent these comments for the rest of your life? Get over it. It is what it is.


Why are you all acting like ADHD is this impossible diagnosis? Between meds and routines and effort, this isn’t a huge disability. I say this as someone with ADHD who wasn’t diagnosed/medicated until my 40s. If you are enabling your teens and treating them as incompetent, then sure they’re never going to be competent.


+1

Working on building these skills sooner than later.


Agree. As a society we've made ADHD to be this major disability when it really shouldn't be. I have a college freshman with severe ADHD and it's just one part of who he is. He's medicated, he has routines, effort ,double checks, and he makes it all work. Is he (or will he ever be) the most organized person on the planet? No, but he's very functional and on the rare occasion that he messes up, he learns from his mistake. That (learning from his mistake) is a far more powerful impetus or future change than me stepping in and managing his life.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 08:09     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Anonymous wrote:Spoke to a mom who told me that she regularly checks her kid's portal to make sure all materials are in. I asked if her kid ever checks it and she said her kid doesn't even know the passwords. The mom seemed pretty proud of herself for helping her DC navigate the application process. Is it common for parents to be this involved and kids uninvolved? Seems a bit much to me.


She's going to be very busy in college for the next 4 years!

Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 08:05     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
I have definitely helped my executive functioning challenged boy manage his numerous applications. But I haven't done any of the work and have the portal passcodes just in case he forgets them.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 07:55     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Anonymous wrote:I think there is a balance. If your kids are applying to 12+ colleges that require a lot of essays/additionals, taking hefty classes with lots of ECs, and DON'T HAVE college counselors, then I think parents should help with some of the administrative stuff. Things I think parents can help with:
- brainstorming topics for essays
- fill out, or at least help fill out FAFSA/CSS
- help fill out some of the "about family" on the CA
- proofread and advise on essays
- application payment
- remind kids to check which colleges require direct College Board submits of scores
- remind kids to check portals post-application
- for students who do supplement, check with them if they need any help with portfolios
- remind them to write a thank you note after interviews out of common courtesy

Not every kid has it together, and this is such a huge process that I would not just let them be on their own if there are not additional support either at their high school or a private counselor. Also, there is a difference if the student decides to apply only to 8 state schools with no honors/LEP programs supplements, or no art/research supplements, versus 12+ schools that have lots of additional.


PP here. Also, when I say brainstorming topics, the student has to lead. But I don't think it's a bad idea to sit w/ your kids to spew out some topics with them. From our experience, ours dismissed all of our suggestions but the fact we sat and talked about it helped them think of alternative good topics on their own.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 07:53     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
I think there is a balance. If your kids are applying to 12+ colleges that require a lot of essays/additionals, taking hefty classes with lots of ECs, and DON'T HAVE college counselors, then I think parents should help with some of the administrative stuff. Things I think parents can help with:
- brainstorming topics for essays
- fill out, or at least help fill out FAFSA/CSS
- help fill out some of the "about family" on the CA
- proofread and advise on essays
- application payment
- remind kids to check which colleges require direct College Board submits of scores
- remind kids to check portals post-application
- for students who do supplement, check with them if they need any help with portfolios
- remind them to write a thank you note after interviews out of common courtesy

Not every kid has it together, and this is such a huge process that I would not just let them be on their own if there are not additional support either at their high school or a private counselor. Also, there is a difference if the student decides to apply only to 8 state schools with no honors/LEP programs supplements, or no art/research supplements, versus 12+ schools that have lots of additional.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 07:49     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Anonymous wrote:Kids in the arts apply to 20-30 colleges. If I wasn't the unpaid consultant to manage it all, I would be paying someone to, which is what many many people do for thousands of dollars. I send a weekly summary of to-dos (which is luckily getting smaller). I also manage the audition scheduling as it is a complicated puzzle. I do not submit the videos or applications.


Sending good vibes. It’s insane what performing arts majors go through.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 07:39     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Anonymous wrote:Kids in the arts apply to 20-30 colleges. If I wasn't the unpaid consultant to manage it all, I would be paying someone to, which is what many many people do for thousands of dollars. I send a weekly summary of to-dos (which is luckily getting smaller). I also manage the audition scheduling as it is a complicated puzzle. I do not submit the videos or applications.


This is not the same as signing into your kid's portal regularly with them not even knowing the passwords.

The only involvement I have had with a university was when I received an email saying they don't have the FAFSA. I wrote back only to find out DD needed to provide her social security number. Other than that, I have not been in her portals at all. She checks them regularly and lets me know if something is missing.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 07:31     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Kids in the arts apply to 20-30 colleges. If I wasn't the unpaid consultant to manage it all, I would be paying someone to, which is what many many people do for thousands of dollars. I send a weekly summary of to-dos (which is luckily getting smaller). I also manage the audition scheduling as it is a complicated puzzle. I do not submit the videos or applications.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2025 07:23     Subject: Do you check your kid's portal?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your kid doesn’t have ADHD, congrats to you. Some of us are trying to help our kids apply to college or else they might not even go. And maybe they’ll fail out once they’re there. I hope you are extra smug when we have to tell you about that.


Why do you care if they’re smug? That doesn’t change the fact that your kid has ADHD. You will always have to be involved like this, even when your kid is an adult. Are you going to resent these comments for the rest of your life? Get over it. It is what it is.


Why are you all acting like ADHD is this impossible diagnosis? Between meds and routines and effort, this isn’t a huge disability. I say this as someone with ADHD who wasn’t diagnosed/medicated until my 40s. If you are enabling your teens and treating them as incompetent, then sure they’re never going to be competent.


+1

Working on building these skills sooner than later.