Anonymous
11/14/2025 14:19
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
I know way too many boys repeating a grade for sports reasons, zero academic need. So if that can happen, this is a much more valid situation.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 14:11
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."
I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.
This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.
Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.
Disagree. Being “bored” in school is nonsense. There is always something to learn or you can supplement at home. There are many non academic benefits to repeating, especially in OPs case. But I do think it would be academically advantageous for him as well. If he is average in math- repeating 8th grade will likely put him in Alg I for the new 8th grade year, which is a much better place to be than taking Alg I in 9th grade.
Np here. I haven't scanned past this point, but for many kids with ADHD, especially those with high intelligence, boredom because something is too easy is a real problem.
Op, it sounds like you're writing off the next year and a half of your child's schooling. That's a relatively short time in an adult life but a very long time for a kid in school. He may pick up on the fact that you're giving up on him. He may feel like a failure. Those feelings that impact self-esteem can last a lifetime. He needs help now. You can revisit the grade question over a year from now.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 13:18
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
I agree with the posters who recommend getting tutoring. If he has gaps in math on foundational concepts, it’s not useful to do 8th grade math twice! It’s more useful to go back and strengthen the earlier topics he doesn’t have down or skipped.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 13:03
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
So he would be 19 when he graduates???
Anonymous
11/13/2025 07:44
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."
I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.
This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.
Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.
Disagree. Being “bored” in school is nonsense. There is always something to learn or you can supplement at home. There are many non academic benefits to repeating, especially in OPs case. But I do think it would be academically advantageous for him as well. If he is average in math- repeating 8th grade will likely put him in Alg I for the new 8th grade year, which is a much better place to be than taking Alg I in 9th grade.
It a reason to hold back. Yes kids are bored. There are zero good reasons to hold back. Get tutoring to fill in the gaps.
https://military.tutor.com/home
I'd rather not drug and tutor my kid to get them limping over the finish line if another year would give them time to mature and catch up. They only get one shot at high school.
Repeating a year will not fix ADHD. Repeating a year for maturity is something you do at 5 or 6 years old, not in 8th grade. Doesn’t sound like you have a kid with ADHD (I do) and boredom is a huge issue (not because he’s super smart, but bc he has ADHD).
Anonymous
11/13/2025 07:39
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Non-military families are guessing all over this thread. A military family that just PCS'd to a new state is different -- and will be treated differently than a local kid being red-shirted for no obvious reason.
You're not special. It makes no difference where the parents are employed and why the move around so much. They could be a traveling circus family for all the school cares. The point is that a typical public school will not let you choose your child's grade level based on your fee-fees. There needs to be well-documented reasons for holding back.
Private schools only care about your $$$$$$.
Public schools don’t care. They really don’t. Kids enroll in various grades of public school all the time with no “transcript.” Kids are homeschooled, immigrants, come from private schools that don’t issue letter grades or do standardized testing. Some elementary schools don’t issue grades as well. No public middle school is hounding down records. You fill out paperwork and it asks what grade your kid will be entering and you can put whatever you want. Unless it is wildly off, no one is going to say anything.
You sound like a private school snob who has no clue how public school works.
Public schools require a child's birth certificate or other identity document to enroll. They place you in a grade according to your listed date of birth, unless you have documentation or previous school records supporting a different placement. For example, if you were previously held back one grade or skipped one grade at another public school or accredited private school, they *usually* honor that and keep you on your current track. Homeschooled kids, migrants, kids from weird private schools, they all get placed according to age. There is no "put whatever you want."
No, we go to public school and did this! You don’t NEED any documentation other than birth certificate, vaccination records, and proof of residency. Birth certificate is to verify age is correct, not for grade placement past early el. They will go on what grade the parent says they are enrolling the child unless there is a big discrepancy. They also do not care about class placement and will stick your kid wherever there is space. Public middle schoolers have 700+ kids and 2 counselor making the schedules. Unless you want them in a more accelerated track, then you have to say so.
Anonymous
11/12/2025 22:48
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
I would do it OP. Repeating 8th is a good solution.
Anonymous
11/12/2025 22:46
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."
I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.
This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.
Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.
Disagree. Being “bored” in school is nonsense. There is always something to learn or you can supplement at home. There are many non academic benefits to repeating, especially in OPs case. But I do think it would be academically advantageous for him as well. If he is average in math- repeating 8th grade will likely put him in Alg I for the new 8th grade year, which is a much better place to be than taking Alg I in 9th grade.
It a reason to hold back. Yes kids are bored. There are zero good reasons to hold back. Get tutoring to fill in the gaps.
https://military.tutor.com/home
I'd rather not drug and tutor my kid to get them limping over the finish line if another year would give them time to mature and catch up. They only get one shot at high school.
Sure. And public schools are not going to pay for an extra year of education for a kid who isn't failing. Because then they'll have to allow every kid in similar circumstances to do the same. Private schools will do this because you pay them for the privilege to do so.
Anonymous
11/12/2025 22:43
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.
We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.
We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?
It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.
Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.
They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.
I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.
No, they didn’t ask bc they didn’t care and never got them. I know this for a fact
Ok, but your anecdote doesn't mean that this will happen with all kids. We moved into MCPS from out of state and they didn't ask me "what grade did I want to put my kid in." They asked me for the records/transcripts from the prior school.
+1 Just because a handful of schools are lazy doesn't mean they all are. Public schools have to follow more rules. A private school might let you do whatever you want as long as you pay in full.
You can decline. Kids join public school, every public, ALL THE TIME with no transfer records or transcripts.
Sure, and then they'll just put the kid in the grade indicated by age, which is the status quo, which OP is unhappy about. In an ideal world, you could red shirt your kid and someone would pay, but this isn't going to be that easy to do in public school.
Anonymous
11/12/2025 21:24
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Non-military families are guessing all over this thread. A military family that just PCS'd to a new state is different -- and will be treated differently than a local kid being red-shirted for no obvious reason.
You're not special. It makes no difference where the parents are employed and why the move around so much. They could be a traveling circus family for all the school cares. The point is that a typical public school will not let you choose your child's grade level based on your fee-fees. There needs to be well-documented reasons for holding back.
Private schools only care about your $$$$$$.
Public schools don’t care. They really don’t. Kids enroll in various grades of public school all the time with no “transcript.” Kids are homeschooled, immigrants, come from private schools that don’t issue letter grades or do standardized testing. Some elementary schools don’t issue grades as well. No public middle school is hounding down records. You fill out paperwork and it asks what grade your kid will be entering and you can put whatever you want. Unless it is wildly off, no one is going to say anything.
You sound like a private school snob who has no clue how public school works.
Public schools require a child's birth certificate or other identity document to enroll. They place you in a grade according to your listed date of birth, unless you have documentation or previous school records supporting a different placement. For example, if you were previously held back one grade or skipped one grade at another public school or accredited private school, they *usually* honor that and keep you on your current track. Homeschooled kids, migrants, kids from weird private schools, they all get placed according to age. There is no "put whatever you want."
Anonymous
11/12/2025 21:24
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
If he’s a premie you redshirt
Anonymous
11/12/2025 21:09
Subject: Re:Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Repeating a grade is rarely a parents’ choice in public school. If you want him to repeat, you can pay for a year of private in the same grade, then return to public the next year.
Anonymous
11/11/2025 15:31
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."
I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.
This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.
Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.
Disagree. Being “bored” in school is nonsense. There is always something to learn or you can supplement at home. There are many non academic benefits to repeating, especially in OPs case. But I do think it would be academically advantageous for him as well. If he is average in math- repeating 8th grade will likely put him in Alg I for the new 8th grade year, which is a much better place to be than taking Alg I in 9th grade.
It a reason to hold back. Yes kids are bored. There are zero good reasons to hold back. Get tutoring to fill in the gaps.
https://military.tutor.com/home
I'd rather not drug and tutor my kid to get them limping over the finish line if another year would give them time to mature and catch up. They only get one shot at high school.
Anonymous
11/11/2025 15:29
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
We have friends who did this for their 5th grader. Best thing they could have done. She was young for her grade (actually too young for our district, but ok for where they started her in k) and she is a totally different kid the second time through 5th. I wouldn’t do it without the move- that would be socially really hard, but since you’re moving anyway? Go for it
Anonymous
11/11/2025 15:26
Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Non-military families are guessing all over this thread. A military family that just PCS'd to a new state is different -- and will be treated differently than a local kid being red-shirted for no obvious reason.
You're not special. It makes no difference where the parents are employed and why the move around so much. They could be a traveling circus family for all the school cares. The point is that a typical public school will not let you choose your child's grade level based on your fee-fees. There needs to be well-documented reasons for holding back.
Private schools only care about your $$$$$$.
Public schools don’t care. They really don’t. Kids enroll in various grades of public school all the time with no “transcript.” Kids are homeschooled, immigrants, come from private schools that don’t issue letter grades or do standardized testing. Some elementary schools don’t issue grades as well. No public middle school is hounding down records. You fill out paperwork and it asks what grade your kid will be entering and you can put whatever you want. Unless it is wildly off, no one is going to say anything.