I can speak for my daughter and she's not looking for a boyfriend as she also doesn't have much time but would love to just have coffee or lunch or go running with a guy on occasion.
She doesn't drink much and she's not looking for drunken sex or hook-ups.

Anyway, the boys at her school are not doing any asking so as of a few weeks ago she's been asking them to do things and they always respond yes. One has turned into an ongoing hang-out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is happy socially and academically but not with the guy scene. It’s either hookup culture or eveyone has bf from HS. This should have been an obvious issue but was overlooked. Would you suggest transferring to a private or smaller school. Is it better in the northeast? Or Midwest? Or should we be glad she’s thriving socially. I don’t want her to then be friendless and looking for a relationship. She had a bf in HS.
Her school is very in state heavy.

This screams so desperate it's not even funny. And how does friendless and looking for a relationship even correlate? Why doesn't she focus on looking for friends first? Good grief.

Exactly. Maybe all of these girls who can't find a quality boy to be in a relationship with should learn something from those boys. The last thing I would want for my son (or daughter) at college is to be tied down to a relationship. Maybe the boys have figured that out and are just focused on themselves right now and learning how to be independent. Maybe the girls should be focused on the same thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is happy socially and academically but not with the guy scene. It’s either hookup culture or eveyone has bf from HS. This should have been an obvious issue but was overlooked. Would you suggest transferring to a private or smaller school. Is it better in the northeast? Or Midwest? Or should we be glad she’s thriving socially. I don’t want her to then be friendless and looking for a relationship. She had a bf in HS.
Her school is very in state heavy.

This screams so desperate it's not even funny. And how does friendless and looking for a relationship even correlate? Why doesn't she focus on looking for friends first? Good grief.

I meant she has friends now so wouldn’t want her to sacrifice that piece which is more important. Just meant the guy scene is not conducive to any sort of dating or high quality guys. Think frat guy stereotype but even worse.

If she has friends now, why would she want to abandon that? Friends are way more important than dating at this point. She's a freshman. Most freshmen don't want to date their first year in college unless they're already with a significant other from high school who they're serious with. Tell her to wait and it's definitely not a legit reason to transfer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Based on my kid’s school Reddit and anecdotes from friends with kids at other state schools, it sounds like a lot of kids use dating apps - which is the saddest thing I have ever heard. I’d love to hear theories about this.

Dating apps are incredibly normal now. Why would you expect college students not to use them?

Because they are literally surrounded by same-age suitable dating partners? Why would they need to resort to dating apps instead taking their eyes off their screens and actually meeting the people around them?

Anonymous wrote:Based on my kid’s school Reddit and anecdotes from friends with kids at other state schools, it sounds like a lot of kids use dating apps - which is the saddest thing I have ever heard. I’d love to hear theories about this.

Dating apps are incredibly normal now. Why would you expect college students not to use them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid and college who was a freshman and could have written the first part of this period. The report is exactly the same: you either came in with a significant other from high school, or it’s just about hooking up. That is not my kids child, so it’s a little frustrating, but it’s also only November a freshman year. My kid would not consider transferring just for that reason.

Is she south?

Nope. Mid-west state school

If the colors are Maize and Blue, my recommendation is for your daughter to ask guys to join study sessions and for coffees just to chat. My son says that other than girls going to frat parties (which he doesn't participate in), it's not clear who is looking. He also says that there is a lot of LGBTQ identification and he is not sure who is het and it's awkward to find out who is open to the idea. My son follows the rest of his family in not liking to drink although he is quite social. So he won't be found at bars/clubs.

I tried subtly asking out a guy in college but he didn't accept. It was a good experience. I learned what guys are more likely to learn about giving it a try, keeping it light, and not having hard feelings. I think every girl should give it a try.

Good luck to your DD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Transfer in hopes of finding a boyfriend? Are you serious?

Clearly a troll, but I am sure it will be many pages long nonetheless

Not a troll- not to find a boyfriend but to find more like minded mature, ambitious men to even converse with and maybe date...

Clearly your DD is so superior that there is no male on the entire campus that meets her standards.

Definitely not! Just not into hook up culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is happy socially and academically but not with the guy scene. It’s either hookup culture or eveyone has bf from HS. This should have been an obvious issue but was overlooked. Would you suggest transferring to a private or smaller school. Is it better in the northeast? Or Midwest? Or should we be glad she’s thriving socially. I don’t want her to then be friendless and looking for a relationship. She had a bf in HS.
Her school is very in state heavy.

This screams so desperate it's not even funny. And how does friendless and looking for a relationship even correlate? Why doesn't she focus on looking for friends first? Good grief.

I meant she has friends now so wouldn’t want her to sacrifice that piece which is more important. Just meant the guy scene is not conducive to any sort of dating or high quality guys. Think frat guy stereotype but even worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Transfer in hopes of finding a boyfriend? Are you serious?

Clearly a troll, but I am sure it will be many pages long nonetheless

Not a troll- not to find a boyfriend but to find more like minded mature, ambitious men to even converse with and maybe date...

Clearly your DD is so superior that there is no male on the entire campus that meets her standards.

Anonymous wrote:DD is happy socially and academically but not with the guy scene. It’s either hookup culture or eveyone has bf from HS. This should have been an obvious issue but was overlooked. Would you suggest transferring to a private or smaller school. Is it better in the northeast? Or Midwest? Or should we be glad she’s thriving socially. I don’t want her to then be friendless and looking for a relationship. She had a bf in HS.
Her school is very in state heavy.

This screams so desperate it's not even funny. And how does friendless and looking for a relationship even correlate? Why doesn't she focus on looking for friends first? Good grief.

Is she's getting to know people that's all that matters. Our dorm was set up with men/women on the same floor, each floor had two wings. We did tons of activities together. We saw them as brothers. It was uncool to date (or hook-up) with them. Not done. Guys from a different floor, yes. Or one of our floor brother's friends, yes. As long as she's meeting lots of people -- and why wouldn't she? All she has to do is turn around and talk to anyone in class, anywhere!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Transfer in hopes of finding a boyfriend? Are you serious?

Clearly a troll, but I am sure it will be many pages long nonetheless

Not a troll- not to find a boyfriend but to find more like minded mature, ambitious men to even converse with and maybe date...

67

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to go to a school where the number of men is at least slightly larger than the number of women.

#men < #women - men have market power and play the field. casual sex and hookups are common.

#men > #women - women rule, what they want goes. men try to lock them down via long term relationships.

what are these schools?

VT
UMD

Anonymous wrote:Transfer in hopes of finding a boyfriend? Are you serious?

Clearly a troll, but I am sure it will be many pages long nonetheless