Anonymous
11/03/2025 14:00
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband who watches porn daily. I would stop in an instant if I had a wife who had the faintest desire for sex, but I don't. The porn is just a means to get off, I don't seek it out for any other reason or have withdrawal symptoms. I think a simple test for whether it is a problem is if you go on a vacation and can't get by without sneaking away to watch. That is a bad sign.
You could channel that energy into being the kind of man she wants to f***.
It's incredibly naive to think that good husbands are having lots of sex and bad husbands are the ones not having much. That's not how women or the world works.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:59
Subject: Re:Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"I have an issue with it. I feel like it gives DH a skewed perception of how sexually adventurous most married women with kids are"
Your husband doesn't have a porn problem, he has a warped sense of human sexuality between regular people. Watching porn has nothing to do with actually being interested in going to a sex hotel takeover or going to a sex resort. An "In Real Life" action like visiting one of these places takes the "viewer" out of the fantasy/not at all real world into something completely different from "at a distance" porn.
Most men who would freak out at the thought of anyone else seeing their wife naked or having sex with her in front of them.
But don’t you think that watching porn can give you a warped sense of human sexuality between regular people? I get that this is DH’s particular thing. But if your wife won’t do something that you want her to do and then you go online and watch dozens of videos of women doing the thing your wife won’t do with *their* husbands, doesn’t that change how you feel about your wife? How could it not?
DP. I agree with you. It just has to affect their sense of what a normal or at least reasonable expectation of sex might be. Their sense of loss or deprivation is going to be inevitably greater if they know that some people are having fun doing whatever it is versus a world where they could kind of tell themselves that no one else was doing it either.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:58
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:They all do even when they say they don’t.
This, though it often is less as they get older.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:36
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
I find that porn is blurred now with social media. If you are online it is kind of inescapable.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:26
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't know or care. It doesn't affect his desire to have sex with me.
You don't care hes picturing some one else while using YOUR body?
Nice.
LOL. NP here, but pretty sure most husbands are not what their wives are thinking about when they are doing it with them. It’s fine.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:25
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a husband who watches porn daily. I would stop in an instant if I had a wife who had the faintest desire for sex, but I don't. The porn is just a means to get off, I don't seek it out for any other reason or have withdrawal symptoms. I think a simple test for whether it is a problem is if you go on a vacation and can't get by without sneaking away to watch. That is a bad sign.
You could channel that energy into being the kind of man she wants to f***.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:21
Subject: Re:Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"I have an issue with it. I feel like it gives DH a skewed perception of how sexually adventurous most married women with kids are"
Your husband doesn't have a porn problem, he has a warped sense of human sexuality between regular people. Watching porn has nothing to do with actually being interested in going to a sex hotel takeover or going to a sex resort. An "In Real Life" action like visiting one of these places takes the "viewer" out of the fantasy/not at all real world into something completely different from "at a distance" porn.
Most men who would freak out at the thought of anyone else seeing their wife naked or having sex with her in front of them.
But don’t you think that watching porn can give you a warped sense of human sexuality between regular people? I get that this is DH’s particular thing. But if your wife won’t do something that you want her to do and then you go online and watch dozens of videos of women doing the thing your wife won’t do with *their* husbands, doesn’t that change how you feel about your wife? How could it not?
It certainly can be illuminating when you discover that “things your spouse is willing to do” and “things that appear in porn” have almost no overlap.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:21
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:I don't know or care. It doesn't affect his desire to have sex with me.
You don't care hes picturing some one else while using YOUR body?
Nice.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:09
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Seems like this is stretching the definition of (non-explicit), but as a DH my wife doesn't care at all. She's busy and not always up for it. That's fine with me and she doesn't care.
I guess I don’t care about master bating. I’m just not a fan of using porn to do it. If you can just use whatever is in your own imagination, that’s fine.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 13:05
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Seems like this is stretching the definition of (non-explicit), but as a DH my wife doesn't care at all. She's busy and not always up for it. That's fine with me and she doesn't care.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 12:58
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Probably? Honestly have no clue. We have a very happy and healthy sex life so if he does, it doesn't matter much to me. I also am definitely the more adventurous and kinky one, so it hasn't warped anything for him. I also watch it.
Same for us. Probably and I don’t care.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 12:52
Subject: Re:Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:"I have an issue with it. I feel like it gives DH a skewed perception of how sexually adventurous most married women with kids are"
Your husband doesn't have a porn problem, he has a warped sense of human sexuality between regular people. Watching porn has nothing to do with actually being interested in going to a sex hotel takeover or going to a sex resort. An "In Real Life" action like visiting one of these places takes the "viewer" out of the fantasy/not at all real world into something completely different from "at a distance" porn.
Most men who would freak out at the thought of anyone else seeing their wife naked or having sex with her in front of them.
But don’t you think that watching porn can give you a warped sense of human sexuality between regular people? I get that this is DH’s particular thing. But if your wife won’t do something that you want her to do and then you go online and watch dozens of videos of women doing the thing your wife won’t do with *their* husbands, doesn’t that change how you feel about your wife? How could it not?
Anonymous
11/03/2025 12:40
Subject: Re:Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:PP again. If you wrote that porn gives your husband an unrealistic view of what older married-with-kids women's bodies look like, I'd agree with that. (Like when he thinks all women look like a Playboy Bunny at age 25 and keep looking that way at 40, or that every woman is shaven every day.)
Now see, I think most men are aware that the playboy bunny look is just porn.
What I don’t think a lot of men know is that the way people initiate sex in porn isn’t really how people initiate sex in real life, or that the positions and the lighting are about making a good movie and not about connection or sexual pleasure, or that most wives aren’t regularly doing the things that the women in porn are doing.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 12:37
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Has this ever been a problem in a relationship for you?
just wait. we will have female robots that will look and feel amazing.
I cant wait.
to be able to have amazing sex without a mouth attached.
It’s not sex if it’s alone. It’s the saddest, most elaborate masturbation. I can’t imagine doing it with some thing that doesn’t smell like a human, can’t experience pleasure, no eye contact. Oof, PP, you have serious issues.
Lots of people hump pillows, so I don't think the object lacking a human smell or sense of pleasure will be a deal breaker.
Anonymous
11/03/2025 12:37
Subject: Does your DH watch pornography?
I don't know or care. It doesn't affect his desire to have sex with me.