Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is super unrealistic, and I've never heard of someone taking their kids along for a work trip outside of a brand newborn for a super high powered CEO type (ie, one of the very few people who would need to attend to work travel just a few weeks postpartum) and situations where the work travel is somewhere fun, like New Orleans, and spouse and kids came along and made a vacation out of it (but this is usually older kids).

I agree with previous posters that work travel doesn't sound like a good option for her right now.

Tough as the spouse in this situation, though. She wants what she wants. Has she done a work trip since the kids have been born? I would think if she's a frequent work traveler, that would have happened at least with the oldest (since presumably they're almost two). If so, how did you guys handle it and how did it go? Or is work travel new for her? How frequently is it expected?

You say your job is flexible - do you have regular childcare (daycare or nanny during standard business hours)? If so, that's a good reason to say no, as she's essentially asking you to take vacation days and this may not be a good use of your time off.

Assuming this is new, here's how I would handle as a spouse: Tell her you'll make her a deal. The first trip, she goes solo, the second trip, you will take the kids and go with her. So, you each get a turn to try out your preferred method, and see how it goes.

Then you promise, after trip #2 once you've got some data on how this actually goes, to sit down the two of you and figure out what makes the most sense for your family. How did the two trips go? What was everyone's stress level? How did it impact both of your jobs? How did the kids handle it? What were the benefits and drawbacks? Then you can decide, together, whether the kids should stay home, the kids should go, you should keep a balance (and is that 50/50 or something different) or she changes her job situation for less travel.

The other advantage of this suggestion is that this might just be new mom/new business traveler jitters/guilt, and once she does the first trip, she realizes that it's doable, and that having the kids there would actually have sucked, and she decides she doesn't even want you to bring them on trip #2.

Thank you for this; very thoughtful. I will give it some thought.

Anonymous wrote:My youngest went when she was a baby to Boston in a combined work/pleasure trip with in laws, husband and older sibs. I had a two hour meeting in Boston.

She also went to West Coast with the whole family again (not the in-laws that time) for another work/pleasure trip. Again, had a couple of meetings lasting an hour or so.

Then she went with my husband and I to California for an interview dinner, where they were really trying to recruit me. I didn’t go but they were really nice and she was such an easy baby.

Anonymous wrote:I realize there is no uniform answer here and it can involve a host of variables, but I am trying to get a general gauge.

What was your expectation for how frequently your children under the age of two would travel with you on work trips? Every trip? An occasional/opportunistic trip? Never?

As kids got older than this, did trips away from them get easier? More difficult? Did your expectations regarding the questions above change?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that’s a weird expectation. It’s a work trip. She’s there to do work. I don’t get it. Are you supposed to take PTO every time she’s on travel? Since her plans require you to travel too, I would say no way, not happening. She’ll miss the kids. I always do. She’ll survive as we all do.

If it were a one-off, like she’s traveling to Orlando, then…maybe? Just maybe.

OP here. I have a semi-flexible work situation (work for myself), so it's technically possible, but it would add much more stress and be quite disruptive for me. It just seems like it's asking a lot for maybe an hour or two a day at most of facetime with the kids during work days while on these trips.