Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We chose St. Andrew's because it was supposed to have nice kids, and we have been incredibly disappointed on that front. I think it all might depend on the class.

Every school depends on the class

This. One year might have lots of nice kids. Another year might not have as many.

This is true. Definitely depends on the class.

Aren’t all the problem kids in public?

Fascinating.

The disruptive or violent kids are in public. The admissions team weeds them out effectively and kids do get kicked out of private.

The behavior problems in private are more subtle like mean girl behavior or low key bullying. It is unfortunate and harder to deal with. It exists in public too of course.

Sadly, this is true. Even privates that claim to not tolerate certain kinds of behavior (even things like cheating) still will if the parents have enough influence.

Anonymous wrote:I went to public, my kids go to private. In my experience, private has a way to reject the “problem kids” via the admissions process. Interviews, write ups, references, etc. I don’t know how public kids are more nice when they have to take everyone who’s zoned. The teachers my child has at private seem like they’re much more proactive and resourced to address issues in the classroom. Plus there’s half as many kids in the class so that helps too. I can imagine the kids are nicer to each other as a result.

Mean behavior is often not limited to the obvious "problem kids" in the admission process. Mean kids can appear nice during class and in front of teachers. It's the exclusion, often highlighted on social media, and behind-the-scenes stuff that is so pervasive and hurtful and that schools do nothing about.

My kid just started middle school at one of the schools named here. Her perception is that the incoming kids have less issues than the kids who started there in elementary. The behavior problems and more serious emotional and learning issues are concentrated in the kids who have been there awhile. It seems it's easier to filter for this in the admissions process by middle school, but probably quite difficult to at younger ages. I'm hoping some of the kids get counseled out!

I went to public, my kids go to private. In my experience, private has a way to reject the “problem kids” via the admissions process. Interviews, write ups, references, etc. I don’t know how public kids are more nice when they have to take everyone who’s zoned. The teachers my child has at private seem like they’re much more proactive and resourced to address issues in the classroom. Plus there’s half as many kids in the class so that helps too. I can imagine the kids are nicer to each other as a result.

I think a classroom without any problem children is wonderful, but exceedingly rare these days.

I think bigger private schools can be nice because there are a wide variety of kids and your daughter can find her group.

Anonymous wrote:Pick a Catholic school. Being a good person is emphasized. What about St. Luke’s, St Marks or OLGC?

And yet my son was viciously bullied at St Luke .. by faculty and administrators. Didn’t help that were were not Catholic

The kids at Sandy Spring have in my experience been incredibly kind and good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We chose St. Andrew's because it was supposed to have nice kids, and we have been incredibly disappointed on that front. I think it all might depend on the class.

Every school depends on the class

This.

We chose based on reputation for “nice” and that was not what my kid experienced at all. Parents and teachers don’t really know all that goes on. Obviously!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All private schools are bad with mean kids and public schools have great kids that walk on water. I think that’s what op wanted to hear.

That’s a bit too absolute but the sentiment is accurate

The OP is pretty neutral. The responses have been surprising. More posters than expected saying finding nice kids in private is a crap shoot, regardless of the school or grade. Probably not what OP was hoping to hear.

Given your child's interests maybe try Basis. It seems like it may be a good fit socially for your child

Anonymous wrote:All private schools are bad with mean kids and public schools have great kids that walk on water. I think that’s what op wanted to hear.

That’s a bit too absolute but the sentiment is accurate

All private schools are bad with mean kids and public schools have great kids that walk on water. I think that’s what op wanted to hear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generalizing a whole school as having kids who are all good is impossible.

This. Posts like this one are totally meaningless.

Disagree. A school's culture can have a major impact on whether or not kids are respectful or not.

I agree that a school's culture can have a major impact on whether kids are respectful or not, but you aren't going to get meaningful feedback on an anonymous message board. OP's question is an opportunity for people with an axe to grind to slam schools. It's also wildly subjective and broad. If you want to understand more about a school's culture and the families who attend, you have to talk with actual families--preferably connect with people you know or have some reference regarding their values (and how they line up with yours).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generalizing a whole school as having kids who are all good is impossible.

This. Posts like this one are totally meaningless.

Disagree. A school's culture can have a major impact on whether or not kids are respectful or not.