Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 11:47     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Larger is better for women students IMO. Especially if they are straight and want a normal size dating pool of men to draw from.

Smaller might be better for male students. Male brains and exec function is slower to develop than women, LACs can be helpful at providing some initial scaffolding and support as they grow into adulting. It helps them focus and be held accountable.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 11:41     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:Which schools are considered cutthroat?


UPenn
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 11:38     Subject: Re:Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
What comes across in this thread is the need for more midsize universities (10-20K give or take) that aren't Ivies and are not regional state universities. Like Marquette as the example I am most familiar with. There was another thread about the limited number of schools in this size.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 11:36     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


I attended a SLAC and deeply regret it. I felt so stifled and bored, seeing the same people all the time, where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The small classes were so dull, with the same handful of people in each one - same with the paltry clubs.

My own kids wanted nothing to do with SLACs and chose large state schools where they have an abundance of activities to choose from - not to mention great depth and variety in their classes/majors. None have had a class bigger than about 50 people and most are around 30. One has a foreign language class with only ten people.

They are involved in academic organizations, study abroad, internships, and social activities (neither went Greek). I so wish I had chosen differently when I was their age, but my own parents inexplicably pushed me towards a small school. Now I see how much I missed!


Please identify the school, or I would am claiming bs on class size.


+1 Large state schools can be good but many classes have more than 50 people.


This may be and is probably likely in the 100 level classes that are just prerequisites, but much less likely in the 300 and 400 level classes that matter for your major.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 11:28     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:Kid went to UCB. It was teeeible in so many ways — crowded, hard to get courses, club culture, housing, teaching quality, etc. Transferred out after one year to a SLAC. Best decision, it’s like night and day.


I do not have direct experience with UCB, but what I have read here and in other places is that it is a different beast than most large public state schools. Because of everything you mention. It does not seem to be representative of many big state school experiences because of its extremes.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 10:20     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Know and accept that you have a bias. You are most likely going to prefer - whatever college experience you had, whether a small LAC or large state school.

DH and I valued our large state school experience. So many options for majors, class sections, class times, different professors. No need to get a sign-off, convince a counselor if you wanted to change your major, drop a class, try-out a class in a very different subject just for fun. You charted your own course.


Ummm....many good large state schools have 75% of the majors as "impacted". So nope, you cannot just try a course, switch majors, etc.
At smaller schools (my kids are at 5-8K undergrads) it was much easier to change majors (2 of my 3 kids did so, one changed their major about 90 mins before registering for fall soph courses). It was very easy to take courses outside your major, switch your major, drop a class. The difference is before dropping a course you have to talk to your advisor/the dept coordinator for your major. Which is a good thing. They guide you and make sure you don't do something stupid---like dropping a course that takes you below "# of units required to keep your Financial aid"/etc. They help guide you to tutoring and extra help before you hit the point of needing to drop a course, because the goal is for you to succeed. An 18/19 yo needing a bitof assistance is not coddling, it's helping prepare them for life. In the real world good companies have mentors assigned to new hires to help guide them as well

Smaller schools have less majors than larger schools to choose from or switch to.

IMO, my youngest would do better in a smaller school academically, but socially, they would despise it.

My older goes to a large state school. They are doing great. They joined social clubs to make the school feel smaller. They have never needed academic hand holding. They have always been a straight A student (magnet HS and now in college). But, their advisor was terrible, and they did have to figure some things out on their own. Still, they've had some amazing internships (that paid very well).
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 10:13     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


I attended a SLAC and deeply regret it. I felt so stifled and bored, seeing the same people all the time, where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The small classes were so dull, with the same handful of people in each one - same with the paltry clubs.

My own kids wanted nothing to do with SLACs and chose large state schools where they have an abundance of activities to choose from - not to mention great depth and variety in their classes/majors. None have had a class bigger than about 50 people and most are around 30. One has a foreign language class with only ten people.

They are involved in academic organizations, study abroad, internships, and social activities (neither went Greek). I so wish I had chosen differently when I was their age, but my own parents inexplicably pushed me towards a small school. Now I see how much I missed!


Please identify the school, or I would am claiming bs on class size.


+1 Large state schools can be good but many classes have more than 50 people.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 09:55     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


I attended a SLAC and deeply regret it. I felt so stifled and bored, seeing the same people all the time, where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The small classes were so dull, with the same handful of people in each one - same with the paltry clubs.

My own kids wanted nothing to do with SLACs and chose large state schools where they have an abundance of activities to choose from - not to mention great depth and variety in their classes/majors. None have had a class bigger than about 50 people and most are around 30. One has a foreign language class with only ten people.

They are involved in academic organizations, study abroad, internships, and social activities (neither went Greek). I so wish I had chosen differently when I was their age, but my own parents inexplicably pushed me towards a small school. Now I see how much I missed!


Please identify the school, or I would am claiming bs on class size.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 09:15     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:My kid is an engineering student at a Big 10 school known for being overcrowded and weeding out students. I preferred that he attend a smaller, more supportive and less rigorous school. My kid is generally quiet, shy and has had some trouble making friends, but was adamant on attending a large college. We landed the helicopter and put it the hanger and let him make his first real adult decision.

He is thriving at the school. He has a large group of friends, involved in clubs and overall extremely happy. I’m glad that we allowed him to make the decision and follow his dream. I feel that he will be most successful if he is happy.



That’s wonderful; glad it was a good decision.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 08:50     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
My kid is an engineering student at a Big 10 school known for being overcrowded and weeding out students. I preferred that he attend a smaller, more supportive and less rigorous school. My kid is generally quiet, shy and has had some trouble making friends, but was adamant on attending a large college. We landed the helicopter and put it the hanger and let him make his first real adult decision.

He is thriving at the school. He has a large group of friends, involved in clubs and overall extremely happy. I’m glad that we allowed him to make the decision and follow his dream. I feel that he will be most successful if he is happy.

Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 08:47     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
My kid is in an honors program at large school. It is is the best of both worlds. He lives with small group of kids and takes 1 class with them, but has huge campus and all the attendant opportunities. So much better than I possibly could have hoped for.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 08:24     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
I think in most cases where kids are unhappy, it is because the parents forced their choices on to them. I think the only mistake here is when parents don’t let the kids decide.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 08:07     Subject: Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would never let my kid go to a massive school where everything is overcrowded students are just a number.


I attended a SLAC and deeply regret it. I felt so stifled and bored, seeing the same people all the time, where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The small classes were so dull, with the same handful of people in each one - same with the paltry clubs.

My own kids wanted nothing to do with SLACs and chose large state schools where they have an abundance of activities to choose from - not to mention great depth and variety in their classes/majors. None have had a class bigger than about 50 people and most are around 30. One has a foreign language class with only ten people.

They are involved in academic organizations, study abroad, internships, and social activities (neither went Greek). I so wish I had chosen differently when I was their age, but my own parents inexplicably pushed me towards a small school. Now I see how much I missed!


Nicely done. As another posted, I, too, could have written this.

I lost so many opportunities by attending an LAC due to lack of course offerings, majors, and, most of all, different perspectives from both professors and my fellow students.

Child attended a private National University and several classes were too small (9 or fewer students) in my opinion.

Also considered a full tuition & housing & travel scholarship at a large public flagship honors college which offered most classes of a max of 30 students.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 08:00     Subject: Re:Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
Anonymous wrote:I went to a huge state school. i had opportunities for closer relationships in my upper level classes, I just didn't do it and that's on me. My current college students have both chosen midsize privates and I do love the size. I think there is a big misconception on handholding though. One of mine is at an Ivy and it was clear from the jump it was all on the kid as communications are nearly nonexistent to parents. I think size of school can help, but at the end of the day, it is on the student. No school is going to come looking for you.


Solid advice.
Anonymous
Post 10/13/2025 07:52     Subject: Re:Anyone regret sending kid to big state vs a mid size NE or vice versa?
I went to a huge state school. i had opportunities for closer relationships in my upper level classes, I just didn't do it and that's on me. My current college students have both chosen midsize privates and I do love the size. I think there is a big misconception on handholding though. One of mine is at an Ivy and it was clear from the jump it was all on the kid as communications are nearly nonexistent to parents. I think size of school can help, but at the end of the day, it is on the student. No school is going to come looking for you.