Anonymous wrote:No.

I also wouldn't marry my spouse if I knew (i) they weren't going to do ~50% of all household chores and childcare, (ii) they were going to be unfaithful (including doing things like spend money on Only Fans or having emotional affairs, (iii) they were going to have a drug or alchohol addiction issues, (iv) they would have mental health struggles or (v) if I knew they would be a poor financial partner. If any of (i)-(v) were triggered, I would not want to have sex with them anymore.

I wish there were a good way to control for all of these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life and marriage are stressful enough. Adding perfectly matched libidos forever to the list of requirements in a partner just makes marriage not seem worth it.

I think marriage only really works between people who are able to adapt and accept the changes life brings. Many relationships are able to handle the good times but not the bad. I don't know if it's because we are inherently selfish and ultimately mostly care about our own pleasure and point of view.

It’s the old Prisoner’s Dilemma. In marriage, both people get further ahead as a unit if each maximizes their contribution. However, individually they win if each tries to maximize their take, and they both know it. So, if you don’t think your partner will prop you up, your rational decision is then to grab as much resources out of the marriage as you can.

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, but it happens. And health problems don’t count - if my wife ever gets sick I’ll be holding her hand all the way theough it. For me, so far I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful wife who loves staying fit and having sex. Obviously, these aren’t the only things I love about her but it sure helps keep our connection and love for each other alive. Its like you still get the hot girlfriend you dated and the life long partner that you’ve built something special with over the years. In turn, it makes you date her as if you were a boyfriend always trying to do nice things for her.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people post here about how they are angry or hurt by their spouse and refuse to sleep with them any longer. I don't understand why, unless there are young children at home, anyone would stay if they felt this way.

Did you believe when you get married that you'd be okay with someone forcing involuntary celibacy on you when you made your vows? If not, why do you think it's okay for your to impose celibacy on your spouse?

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people post here about how they are angry or hurt by their spouse and refuse to sleep with them any longer. I don't understand why, unless there are young children at home, anyone would stay if they felt this way.

Did you believe when you get married that you'd be okay with someone forcing involuntary celibacy on you when you made your vows? If not, why do you think it's okay for your to impose celibacy on your spouse?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are selfish, OP

Yeah, dudes who expect women to work, cook, clean, take care of kids, the family’s social life, aging parents etc etc and also be ready for porn Star sex with them

You guys are so so dumb

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people post here about how they are angry or hurt by their spouse and refuse to sleep with them any longer. I don't understand why, unless there are young children at home, anyone would stay if they felt this way.

Did you believe when you get married that you'd be okay with someone forcing involuntary celibacy on you when you made your vows? If not, why do you think it's okay for your to impose celibacy on your spouse?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the plight of most of the men that I know well enough for them to share aspects of their personal lives with me. They made a commitment and hope the woman they fell in love with will return to the body of the woman they are married to.

One of my friends actually admitted that their dead bedroom was his doing after catching his wife cheating while he was traveling for work. He just couldn’t stomach being with her, but was scared he would lose the ability to see his young kids. Marriage seems to be a death sentence for men these days.

Yet the research shows married men are healthier and live longer.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

Anonymous wrote:For some women, it becomes painful during menopause. I mean really, really painful.

They have no idea this is going to happen. What would you have them do.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people post here about how they are angry or hurt by their spouse and refuse to sleep with them any longer. I don't understand why, unless there are young children at home, anyone would stay if they felt this way.

Did you believe when you get married that you'd be okay with someone forcing involuntary celibacy on you when you made your vows? If not, why do you think it's okay for your to impose celibacy on your spouse?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some women, it becomes painful during menopause. I mean really, really painful.

They have no idea this is going to happen. What would you have them do.

Do you have bad orthodontia or a canker sore or something?

Anonymous wrote:For some women, it becomes painful during menopause. I mean really, really painful.

They have no idea this is going to happen. What would you have them do.

Anonymous wrote:Before getting married, everyone should be fully educated about how human bodies change and age over time, how accidents, illnesses, and injuries happen, and how that can change intimacy. If you are not committed to the relationship through sickness and in heath, for better or for worse, during medically necessary pelvic rest, childbirth, child rearing, menopause and impotence, cranky moods and alone time, and perfectly healthy and normal human shifts in libido, then don't get pretend you intend a marriage to be forever. If you are choosing a spouse expecting to demand sexual intimacy forever, don't get married because the odds are not in your favor of that being a physical possibility.

Or change the vow to read "I take you to be my spouse, but only for as long as I can take you whenever I want." See how that goes over with the crowd of adults who know better at your wedding venue. They'll be taking back their wedding gifts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not, but it happens. And health problems don’t count - if my wife ever gets sick I’ll be holding her hand all the way theough it. For me, so far I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful wife who loves staying fit and having sex. Obviously, these aren’t the only things I love about her but it sure helps keep our connection and love for each other alive. Its like you still get the hot girlfriend you dated and the life long partner that you’ve built something special with over the years. In turn, it makes you date her as if you were a boyfriend always trying to do nice things for her.

Why are men so simple?

Society conditions us this way. If we want to go for a hike, enjoy a meal or see a movie we can do that with a friend. But if we want to have sex we have to do that with our significant other. Now anybody who reads this forum knows that we don't all place this kind of limits on ourselves...but those of us who have a high libido but also take our vows seriously will have the same kind of attitude the PP does.

The irony is that all of you lame men and up being the ones with the limp di?ks eventually and often far sooner than you want to admit.

Marriage is a partnership. It should only be a tiny sliver about sex once kids etc are involved

With that attitude, I would assign 0% fault to your spouse if he cheated on you.