You went wrong when you apologized.
Anyways, stop offering up your home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them make their own arrangements for accommodations going forward.

This is what I want to do. But what should we say to her when she asks about staying here?

If someone is refusing to speak to me, they don't get to stay in my house. That's easy.

This. Simple, common sense.

If SIL (or anyone else) asks why tell them the truth: She has said repeatedly that she is not comfortable in our home.

End of statement.

OP here. In the interest of being prepared should she push back, what do I say to hold my ground should she push back with something like, “I overreacted, I’m fine now. I am comfortable and we want to stay with you.”

"Thanks, we accept your apology."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them make their own arrangements for accommodations going forward.

This is what I want to do. But what should we say to her when she asks about staying here?

If someone is refusing to speak to me, they don't get to stay in my house. That's easy.

This. Simple, common sense.

If SIL (or anyone else) asks why tell them the truth: She has said repeatedly that she is not comfortable in our home.

End of statement.

OP here. In the interest of being prepared should she push back, what do I say to hold my ground should she push back with something like, “I overreacted, I’m fine now. I am comfortable and we want to stay with you.”

You don't say anything, since you are not talking to her. Your husband can say: "You already got multiple second chances. You've been really unpleasant to my wife for a really long time, and now she's done. This was the last straw."

You and the entire family sound crazy. Why in the world are you worried about someone who decided to stop speaking to you? And why would you even consider a scenario where you would host her again?

I would never have played host so often to someone I didn't like, OP.

And if she's so rude as to dislike very common and simple rules of hygiene in a house... why on earth would you lift a finger for this person?

So please tell your husband that you are done. You will not host her again. You have given enough already. If they want to visit, you will not be involved. Your husband can go and have a meal with her at a restaurant somewhere.

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess--she's single and doesn't have a family? I have one of these. Major arrested development situation.

Read the op again.

Let me guess--she's single and doesn't have a family? I have one of these. Major arrested development situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them make their own arrangements for accommodations going forward.

This is what I want to do. But what should we say to her when she asks about staying here?

If someone is refusing to speak to me, they don't get to stay in my house. That's easy.

This. Simple, common sense.

If SIL (or anyone else) asks why tell them the truth: She has said repeatedly that she is not comfortable in our home.

End of statement.

OP here. In the interest of being prepared should she push back, what do I say to hold my ground should she push back with something like, “I overreacted, I’m fine now. I am comfortable and we want to stay with you.”

“Thank you for acknowledging that, however I still feel unsettled and we could all benefit from space. Staying with us doesn’t work for this visit.”

No, do not say this. It sounds ridiculous. Just say thanks for apologizing but it doesn't work for us. You can right now to the end if you feel like it. Be an adult not a people pleaser. The less you say the better.

I think it’s helpful to acknowledge that she made things awkward and this is the result.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them make their own arrangements for accommodations going forward.

This is what I want to do. But what should we say to her when she asks about staying here?

If someone is refusing to speak to me, they don't get to stay in my house. That's easy.

This. Simple, common sense.

If SIL (or anyone else) asks why tell them the truth: She has said repeatedly that she is not comfortable in our home.

End of statement.

OP here. In the interest of being prepared should she push back, what do I say to hold my ground should she push back with something like, “I overreacted, I’m fine now. I am comfortable and we want to stay with you.”

“Thank you for acknowledging that, however I still feel unsettled and we could all benefit from space. Staying with us doesn’t work for this visit.”

No, do not say this. It sounds ridiculous. Just say thanks for apologizing but it doesn't work for us. You can right now to the end if you feel like it. Be an adult not a people pleaser. The less you say the better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them make their own arrangements for accommodations going forward.

This is what I want to do. But what should we say to her when she asks about staying here?

If someone is refusing to speak to me, they don't get to stay in my house. That's easy.

This. Simple, common sense.

If SIL (or anyone else) asks why tell them the truth: She has said repeatedly that she is not comfortable in our home.

End of statement.

OP here. In the interest of being prepared should she push back, what do I say to hold my ground should she push back with something like, “I overreacted, I’m fine now. I am comfortable and we want to stay with you.”

“Thank you for acknowledging that, however I still feel unsettled and we could all benefit from space. Staying with us doesn’t work for this visit.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let them make their own arrangements for accommodations going forward.

This is what I want to do. But what should we say to her when she asks about staying here?

If someone is refusing to speak to me, they don't get to stay in my house. That's easy.

This. Simple, common sense.

If SIL (or anyone else) asks why tell them the truth: She has said repeatedly that she is not comfortable in our home.

End of statement.

OP here. In the interest of being prepared should she push back, what do I say to hold my ground should she push back with something like, “I overreacted, I’m fine now. I am comfortable and we want to stay with you.”

Whatever you do, don’t back down on the boot tray! Your house, your rules!

Some
People
Will look for any opportunity for drama. You can't win with these people. You can only drop the rope.

Anonymous wrote:She's not speaking to you now? There's your boundary. You're off the hook.

This. She's not speaking to you. So you can't field this request. Easy!

She's not speaking to you now? There's your boundary. You're off the hook.