Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have CPTSD from being sexually abused as a child. I had good talk therapy around ages 21-22. Then, it just never helped me that much again. I did other types of therapy and one helped immensely.

Similar situation and experience. What actually helped you, PP?

DP but I have a similar background and saw different therapists over the years. A few were really helpful but doing EMDR really helped me overcome thoughts,
feelings, behaviors I’d internalized that were holding me back. The process also helped me uncover and neutralize old wounds I didn’t know I had. You must be open to the process and want to heal in order for it to work.

I would strongly encourage you to not give up - - continue seeing different therapists until you find the one who can really help you.

Keep in mind that you will need to be patient > sometimes getting results may take some time.

Wishing you all the very best❣️

If you want therapy and are working through your issues with a professional, along with taking medication for your anxiety, it can be helpful.

I’m in the same boat as you, OP. Never found therapy to be worth it, but then again, I gave up quick.

If you haven’t already, see a doc to make sure everything is on the level. I had someone diagnose me as “bipolar” when I was younger when it turns out I had the beginnings of Hashimoto's. A small daily dose of Synthroid took care of that right quick and made my periods better too.

Now I’m in peri and dealing with some swings again that are precisely correlated to where I am in my cycle. Not sure anything can be done about it, but it is good to know when I’m going to be insanely angry and have trouble sleeping (ovulation) so I can plan for it. What helps me is an added emphasis on eating extra good and making sure I’m getting outside and doing some exhausting activity. People really undersell the benefits of straight tiring yourself out for quieting an angry or anxious mind.

Anonymous wrote:It just doesnt feel good to have a positive 50 minutes in therapy and then a drop back into your regular life with nothing really feeling any different. I found more success with alternative and holistic therapies, but ymmv. My psychologist was helpful to an extent (i learned to get my reactions back as I was on mute for a lot of things due to a very fearful up-bringing). She modeled healthy reactions.

But the amount of money I paid her was a real downer, and the therapeutic relationship did a number on me too.

I don't really see therapy as the saving grace i used to. Its so so expensive and it's not really real, and entirely affected by the therapists own life circumstances, beliefs, and values.

Can you explain this? I'm wondering if this is where I'm at.

I’ve had a couple good therapists and a couple lousy ones over the years. I’ve gone to individual and couples therapy at times.

The worst ones just kind of let you wallow in your emotions. The good ones will diagnose you or do assessments and give you steps to work on.

I remember the first one I went to I just vented and she’d agree with me and I ended up feeling worse every time I went because I had just relived the bad part of my week.

I had a really bad one stand up, wave his arms and just tell me to go get divorced while I was sitting there crying.

I had an ex-friend who was an MFT couples therapist. She has a huge following on social media, but in real life she is very combative and full of negativity. My other friends who know her swear they would never ever go to her and can’t believe anyone does. Back when we were friends, she would belittle the demographic of her clients and talk about how she hated her job and wish she’d chosen something else.

My current one is a PhD in psychology. I recommend starting there over a counselor or MFT.

Anonymous wrote:For therapy to work you need the right therapist and you need to be ready and in the right mindset to really make yourself vulnerable and be open to change. I’ve done therapy several times and it wasn’t until my current therapy I started seeing about a year ago where I’ve noticed a difference. In addition to really clicking with this therapist, I also think I reached a point in my life where I was really ready for change.

Well then shouldn’t a therapist be able to tell this within a number of sessions and then recommend a hold on the therapy if the client isn’t in the right place? Seems like 99.9 percent of therapists are more than happy to continue collecting $

The trouble with therapists is that there is almost no accountability for their work, especially those who don’t take insurance and more and more do not

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have borderline personality disorder?

No, I don’t think so. Although I think I have several symptoms - primarily intense anger at times that feels inappropriate.

Underneath that anger is a set of core beliefs that need unpacking. Usually a core fear of not being good enough.

And it’s possible that therapy can makes things temporarily worse before they are better. Think of wound that’s healed badly and inhibiting your ability to use a limb. To fix the wound you have to go in and remove the scar tissue, which will make the wound more sensitive for a time while it heals properly.

I’ve stuck with therapists for years with little improvement

Wrong therapists then.

I am training to be a therapist and I get it. I’ve had many bad ones but the good ones are great.

Seems like you are fairly biased, no? Since this is how you will make $

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How hard do you actually work on yourself and the issues the therapists bring up. A couple bad therapists is one thing. Multiple therapists and none helping usually means the problem lies with you.

Therapists don't actually do anything. It isn't surprising that they aren't going to help.

Therapists hold a mirror up which can reveal your maladaptive thoughts, behaviors and coping mechanisms. They can teach you healthier coping mechanisms and tools and skills for managing your emotions. Most of the work is done by the client outside of therapy where you employ those skills and tools. If you don't like/believe in/trust therapy, then don't go. It takes a desire and commitment to change and the strength to admit what role you play in your own issues for therapy to work.

Most of them do the opposite. They validate false beliefs or encourage them.

I do feel sometimes that long term therapy can create a conflict of interest. Many therapists like and need regular clients. Abused people often have poor boundaries, are used to feeling badly and being treated badly, don't question authority, and feel like they need someone to do the work or take care of them (they feel insufficient to help themselves/low self worth).

So there's a therapist that wants to have a full client list and make xxx dollars and having regular clients who pay without much or any accountability on the therapist helps achieve this.

(Different poster)

This. I’ve had only one therapist out of maybe 6+ who actively worked towards an end date. The others were more than happy to keep me in their rotation

For therapy to work you need the right therapist and you need to be ready and in the right mindset to really make yourself vulnerable and be open to change. I’ve done therapy several times and it wasn’t until my current therapy I started seeing about a year ago where I’ve noticed a difference. In addition to really clicking with this therapist, I also think I reached a point in my life where I was really ready for change.