Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 15:07     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:1. Live in a 1000 square foot apartment and send my kids to $65k per kid per year privates (bad public options where we live) so that I can commute into an office and spend most of my time on teams calls but still keep my commute to 30 mins and make it home by 6.30 and save a small amount each year
2. Live in a larger apartment/ house, send my kids to $65k per year privates (same issue as above) and commute just under an hour to work where I am in teams calls 80% of the time with colleagues across the country and save a small amount each year
3. Move to the suburbs and spend no money on school, more money on taxes, have a larger home, but commute 3 hours a day 3-4 times a week so that I can be in person in an office where i am on teams calls. Save more each year but potentially quit and burn out because I am bad at making peace with substantial inconvenience.
in a world where no option is perfect, what is the option?


We chose # 3 and live in Greenwich. We pay for private school here, but the schools are great. You could try renting in Bronxsville. The schools are good and the commute is also very good, but taxes are high.

If you are RTO in New York there is no great option.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:56     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am confused. I literally grew up in Great Neck Long Island. My house was on Great Neck/Little Neck border. Little Neck is Queens NYC and I was on "long island" by like 50 feet I guess.

I could walk to LIRR train in two minutes. Was a 3-33 minute train ride.

Thats almost the same 30 minute commute you have but I had award winning free public schools.

At work we also had people who lived in Rockville, Centre, Garden City and Manhasset which all have award winning schools close in. If you live walking distance to station those towns are like 35-40 minute commutes.

At KPMG they are moving headquarters to be more Long Island railroad friendly. It used to be the 345 Park Ave headquarters was perfect as all the Wasp partners lived in Westchester.

But now more of the younger ones live in the towns I mentioned and a lot have Hampton Houses if Partners etc. and just a lot easier to live in a neighborhood like Garden City by LIRR and be home in 40 minutes, kids go to great public schools and then have a semi traffic free ride to beach or hampton house on weekend.

My old Partner lived in Garden City and he take clients to Keens Steakhouse or Knick games at MSG and often be home before the Manhattan partners as LIRR downstairs.

The current Head of KPMG lives in Garden City and so does tons of rich people on Wall Street and Banking and God Forbid they sent their kids to Public Schools as they are really good


You’re not being honest about the commute. You’re also assuming people work right next to Penn Station. Most people have to take a subway or walk once they get into NY.


Exactly. I lived in a 40 minutes from Grand Central town. But that didn't count getting to the station,parking, leaving GC once there, then walking uptown.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:52     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Two. No way three. NYC commuting is terrible.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 12:34     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my lower Westchester town, before school care starts at 7:30 and after school lasts until 6. Plenty of homes are walking distance to the train station (mine included) and the express is 30 minutes to Grand Central. My office is another 15 minutes on the subway. Counting walking, etc., the commute is just under an hour. We have tons of space and the schools are free and excellent.

My sister lives in Brooklyn D15, and her kids also go to an excellent free school. She has less space than we do but is still comfortable, and her commute is shorter by about 20 minutes.

There are a lot of different ways to do this, but you need to familiarize yourself with the many good public schools in NYC and the surrounding area!


I’m the pp who lives in westchester. 7:30-6pm is a REALLY long day for kids to be in before care, school and aftercare. And don’t they age out of before/after care once they hit middle school - then what? Kids need an adult around, don’t they? Asking, not judging - my kids are younger than yours and I’m trying to sort out my own RTO demands. Working in thr city feels really undoable if you want quantity of time with your kids


You need a nanny or stay at home parent. My spouse does a 60-90 minute drive commute each way from VA to MD and its sole sucking. One accident can set you back hours and its the only in/out. They cannot switch jobs and moving is financially not worth it but if I was moving I'd go closer to work.


We have a sitter and a wfh parent and some days we struggle.


If you have a sitter and a wfh parent, then you have a problem. This makes no sense when there are two available adults and your sitter handles most things.


WFH parent is still working from 8-5.
We don’t waste tax payers money like your friends do.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 10:00     Subject: Re:Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
The people who are suggesting NY publics likely have lower standards. NYC has terrible public schools. There are some decent schools but few and far between and it’s not like the burbs where you can enroll and send your kid through K-12 to good schools. Everyone I know using a NYC public is playing some insane lottery or magnet game and still renting.


JFC. No it does not have uniformly terrible public schools. There are certainly some terrible ones, many decent ones, and some very good ones.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 09:46     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:I have lived this life. With one kid. Private schools. Full time nanny then part time after school sitter. In NYC, Manhattan, not much more than 1,000 square feet. It was great!!

Pediatrician was 5 blocks away. Story hour and libraries every few blocks. I could be at every school event. I could do drop off and take the subway to work. We did museums every weekend, play dates, birthday parties, big bookstores, bike riding, street fairs. Nice neighbors. High rises are great for trick or treaters. Takeout, delivery, Fresh Direct, and supermarkets abound. The bakery freed her a free cookie, just like when I was a child. She went to camp in the summer.

There are good public schools, however. And Manhattan is not the only Borough.


What was your salary when you had that lifestyle?
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:35     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:I have lived this life. With one kid. Private schools. Full time nanny then part time after school sitter. In NYC, Manhattan, not much more than 1,000 square feet. It was great!!

Pediatrician was 5 blocks away. Story hour and libraries every few blocks. I could be at every school event. I could do drop off and take the subway to work. We did museums every weekend, play dates, birthday parties, big bookstores, bike riding, street fairs. Nice neighbors. High rises are great for trick or treaters. Takeout, delivery, Fresh Direct, and supermarkets abound. The bakery freed her a free cookie, just like when I was a child. She went to camp in the summer.

There are good public schools, however. And Manhattan is not the only Borough.


This sounds like a young child. It’s completely different having a preschool aged child in NYC and an older child. Older kids require more space, have more belongings and want to participate in sports and activities that are very expensive in Manhattan.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:28     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
I have lived this life. With one kid. Private schools. Full time nanny then part time after school sitter. In NYC, Manhattan, not much more than 1,000 square feet. It was great!!

Pediatrician was 5 blocks away. Story hour and libraries every few blocks. I could be at every school event. I could do drop off and take the subway to work. We did museums every weekend, play dates, birthday parties, big bookstores, bike riding, street fairs. Nice neighbors. High rises are great for trick or treaters. Takeout, delivery, Fresh Direct, and supermarkets abound. The bakery freed her a free cookie, just like when I was a child. She went to camp in the summer.

There are good public schools, however. And Manhattan is not the only Borough.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:27     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
#2

When my DCs were small, I commuted from the UWS to Brooklyn for work. Door-to-door it took about 45 minutes, and on most days school drop off added another 20 minutes in the mornings. It was absolutely doable, and I secretly enjoyed having that subway time to read.