When I date, I expect the man to be financially stable, prioritize quality time and have drive. You don’t have those qualities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't make any sense.

She has kids, yet somehow you guys have the exact same week on/week off schedule so you can spend an entire week having sleepovers? That's highly unlikely.

First you said all you do is "hang out" at your place from 5pm-9pm, and now suddenly you're also hiking, going out to restaurants, etc. Why does the story keep changing?

First it was she broke up because she wants more time, then you changed it to "my value only depends on my income!" The two are not the same.

Either you're a troll, or you're not telling the whole story.

Either way, it's fine to breakup because you want different things. I'm a single mom and ended things with a guy recently because he wanted someone who can drop everything and travel with him several times a month, and that's not me. It doesn't change my value as a human being because I don't have the time or money for that, it just means that despite us liking each other, what we want isn't in alignment. Not a big deal.

No sleepovers, he just used her a weekday prostitute. Bang and then leave. Second bolded is the truth.

I read it as she sleeps over at his place every night, they hang out 5-9, he leaves for a few hours, comes back, then leaves at 5am.

I mean, look, if that's true, I do give OP credit for spending time with her from 5pm-9pm when he could be out driving. I think he deserves acknowledgement for that.

But, it's probably not very fulfilling for her to drive to her boyfriend's house every night to just hang out. I've had those boyfriends where they never came to see me, I just went over and sat around at their place. And that's not fun.

It would make more sense for OP to instead spend 3-4 nights a week just driving (5pm-11pm or whatever he does), then 2 nights a week do zero driving and instead plan and execute a real date with her. That way it feels more like a dating relationship and less like Netflix & chill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't make any sense.

She has kids, yet somehow you guys have the exact same week on/week off schedule so you can spend an entire week having sleepovers? That's highly unlikely.

First you said all you do is "hang out" at your place from 5pm-9pm, and now suddenly you're also hiking, going out to restaurants, etc. Why does the story keep changing?

First it was she broke up because she wants more time, then you changed it to "my value only depends on my income!" The two are not the same.

Either you're a troll, or you're not telling the whole story.

Either way, it's fine to breakup because you want different things. I'm a single mom and ended things with a guy recently because he wanted someone who can drop everything and travel with him several times a month, and that's not me. It doesn't change my value as a human being because I don't have the time or money for that, it just means that despite us liking each other, what we want isn't in alignment. Not a big deal.

No sleepovers, he just used her a weekday prostitute. Bang and then leave. Second bolded is the truth.

He wants free, NSA sex on his very specific schedule. Bravo for pulling it off for however long you did, OP.

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't make any sense.

She has kids, yet somehow you guys have the exact same week on/week off schedule so you can spend an entire week having sleepovers? That's highly unlikely.

First you said all you do is "hang out" at your place from 5pm-9pm, and now suddenly you're also hiking, going out to restaurants, etc. Why does the story keep changing?

First it was she broke up because she wants more time, then you changed it to "my value only depends on my income!" The two are not the same.

Either you're a troll, or you're not telling the whole story.

Either way, it's fine to breakup because you want different things. I'm a single mom and ended things with a guy recently because he wanted someone who can drop everything and travel with him several times a month, and that's not me. It doesn't change my value as a human being because I don't have the time or money for that, it just means that despite us liking each other, what we want isn't in alignment. Not a big deal.

No sleepovers, he just used her a weekday prostitute. Bang and then leave. Second bolded is the truth.

This doesn't make any sense.

She has kids, yet somehow you guys have the exact same week on/week off schedule so you can spend an entire week having sleepovers? That's highly unlikely.

First you said all you do is "hang out" at your place from 5pm-9pm, and now suddenly you're also hiking, going out to restaurants, etc. Why does the story keep changing?

First it was she broke up because she wants more time, then you changed it to "my value only depends on my income!" The two are not the same.

Either you're a troll, or you're not telling the whole story.

Either way, it's fine to breakup because you want different things. I'm a single mom and ended things with a guy recently because he wanted someone who can drop everything and travel with him several times a month, and that's not me. It doesn't change my value as a human being because I don't have the time or money for that, it just means that despite us liking each other, what we want isn't in alignment. Not a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

He can't even afford to fund his childrens savings - why on earth do you think he should be splashing cash on women? Kids come first, period.

So don't date, obviously. He doesn't have anything to offer a woman other than a quick hookup then run.

Exactly. But don't blame women for not wanting to stick around for that. It's not about his income, but he has no time for much else, and it's fair that some women will want to spend time outside of their beaus home instead of being treated like a FWB who only want to netflix and chill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

He can't even afford to fund his childrens savings - why on earth do you think he should be splashing cash on women? Kids come first, period.

So don't date, obviously. He doesn't have anything to offer a woman other than a quick hookup then run.

My dad was working 4 jobs so he could afford child support and help us with college. My mom in the meantime could have married her partner but she chose not to because it would have affected her alimony payments. The day after I graduated college my dad took his own life. My dad was very depressed. He never blamed anyone..he never dated. He was simply crippled financially. My mom cheated on him. She was a narcissist.

OP for your own mental health, don't date. You cannot meet most single women basic expectations. I don't want you to end up like my dad. If you get a lawyer to reduce your child support payments do so.

Women are more likely to benefit from upward mobility than men. Wealthier women are more likely to take a chance on broke women than vice versa. Why do you think married men still stay with serial cheaters? They don't want to be broke single moms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

Well, it sounds like he's choosing to drive Uber so that he can max his 401k and Roth. And that's fine. But she's looking for someone who would choose to spend time on a relationship instead. He's not broke at all. He's just choosing work time over relationship time.

He also sounds totally boring. Just hang around the house together weeknights? That's not very appealing. At least you can go for a walk together, right?

OP here. We do more than just walk PP. We do go to the gym together. We go hiking together. We cook together. We go to restaurants together. We go to the movies together. We discuss books together. We have sex almost every day. What else do you want me to do? My job may not be high paying but it had excellent health insurance and good work life balance. Namely if one ofu child is sick I can take time off. I just can't make myself available at all hours we are together. And the hours I drive for Uber are hours that allow me to maximize my income. Uber is market dependent.

So you just want someone to come to your house on the few hours you have free and F. That's not a relationship, that's a sex doll or prostitute. I don't think you can afford either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

People value stability. Your money isn’t stable, your time isn’t stable, your work isn’t stable.

No women do. Get it right. Perhaps men should now avoid the women with crippling student loans debt with sociology degree and poor job prospects.

Dont ever tell me men want to be providers. Its just not true.

That would be a relief for me, I devote much of time to kids and don’t have much time for a partner. We would be on even keel. It’s a shame she doesn’t respect your commitment to your kids.

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

He can't even afford to fund his childrens savings - why on earth do you think he should be splashing cash on women? Kids come first, period.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

You don't seem very bright.

She didn't care about your income, she cared about your time. You're trying to make her (and all women) sound like a gold digger, but you have no gold to dig!

It just sounds like your schedules aren’t compatible and where you’re at in life is not the same. I wouldn’t blame this on money that’s oversimplifying.

Your job and being able to work from home has less to do with someone else’s life than your own. You may feel like you’re more available than you are.