Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still
stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

BS do not vilify anyone who posts that OP is a terrible parent.

OP came to social media to diss on another persons child. She made her child obsess with being inferior to another kid who does this???

Life is unfair that is a life skill first which OP as a parent failed to teach her child.

And the whole blame the other kid garbage trashing the other kids skills what is OP a ten year old girl? OP is not a volleyball coach either she has no idea what that coach was looking for. And yes sports are unfair that’s the natures of sports again OP making volleyball her daughters whole identity again bad parenting. As a mother of multiple division one athletes I understand parents like OP very well. All of my children knew sports were to enjoy not your identity.

I have a different reading of what happened here. OP was looking for advice on how to deal with her child who was not responding well to having been cut from the JV team. She explained the situation reasonably well: how they typically deal with rejection and why this situation was different (a player who got cut earlier made her way on the team). She even mentioned that she didn't want the discussion to be about the other player. But the "coach is always right" crowd put the OP at the wall and started throwing the stones. Some of the people were really nasty and judgmental, even though they clearly didn't have a good understanding of the story or what the OP asked. I think the OP should have kept her original post to one paragraph because that seems to be the typical attention span on social media.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still
stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

BS do not vilify anyone who posts that OP is a terrible parent.

OP came to social media to diss on another persons child. She made her child obsess with being inferior to another kid who does this???

Life is unfair that is a life skill first which OP as a parent failed to teach her child.

And the whole blame the other kid garbage trashing the other kids skills what is OP a ten year old girl? OP is not a volleyball coach either she has no idea what that coach was looking for. And yes sports are unfair that’s the natures of sports again OP making volleyball her daughters whole identity again bad parenting. As a mother of multiple division one athletes I understand parents like OP very well. All of my children knew sports were to enjoy not your identity.

Anonymous wrote:I think getting an official explanation from the coach's boss is completely reasonable. It might be a weird BS explanation, or it might be something to do the first day of tryouts coinciding with a traumatic life event for the other girl. Who knows, maybe her dog died and and she took some anxiety medication that day affecting her performance and then begged for another chance. I have heard weirder things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still
stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

BS do not vilify anyone who posts that OP is a terrible parent.

OP came to social media to diss on another persons child. She made her child obsess with being inferior to another kid who does this???

Life is unfair that is a life skill first which OP as a parent failed to teach her child.

And the whole blame the other kid garbage trashing the other kids skills what is OP a ten year old girl? OP is not a volleyball coach either she has no idea what that coach was looking for. And yes sports are unfair that’s the natures of sports again OP making volleyball her daughters whole identity again bad parenting. As a mother of multiple division one athletes I understand parents like OP very well. All of my children knew sports were to enjoy not your identity.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still
stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

Maybe don’t phrase it exactly like that, but isn’t that lesson part of what a parent should be teaching their children? Disappointments are part of life - learning how to handle setbacks is an important life skill.

As far as the issue here, if the OP went to the athletic director, principal, or other administrator and was able to convince them that the coach did something inappropriate, what’s the remedy? Firing the coach in the middle of the season? Tossing a player off the team to make room for the OP’s DD? Seems to me that any of the options could create more challenges than just working through not making the team.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

Maybe don’t phrase it exactly like that, but isn’t that lesson part of what a parent should be teaching their children? Disappointments are part of life - learning how to handle setbacks is an important life skill.

As far as the issue here, if the OP went to the athletic director, principal, or other administrator and was able to convince them that the coach did something inappropriate, what’s the remedy? Firing the coach in the middle of the season? Tossing a player off the team to make room for the OP’s DD? Seems to me that any of the options could create more challenges than just working through not making the team.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry for what you've been through and I wish your DD a quick recovery. On top of that, you have to listen to abuse online, because what you experienced in person was not enough. Some people here are just robots reciting the same "coach is right" poem. I feel like a few don't even understand the story and just join in because they recognize the chorus: "life is unfair." I want to see how many of them would be fine if that happened to their kid (and not just in theory). Player gets cut from the tryouts, while your own kid keeps going. If regular logic still stands, your kid is better than the kid that got cut. Your kid gets cut, then the player who had been cut earlier turns out on the team. Just how the unfair life intended.

This is THE opportunity to play the sport you love on the HS team. You have daily practice with the other top players who go to school. They've probably been in your social circles through clubs, tournaments, clinics, leagues. Of course you care who got a spot playing your position. You may be ok to see another player with similar skill level on the team. But then you look at the roster and see on your position that player who got cut before you. It doesn't matter whether we are talking about starters or bench players. Nice story to tell your child: get ready because life is going to hit you even harder.

Anonymous wrote:Has your daughter ever faced disappointment before? This is a skill to be learned, not a feeling to be indulged or ignored.

Outside of the team politics, it is important for your daughter to learn to navigate disappointment an unfair situations. sometimes it's not about her, it's not even about the other person, but we have to go onward and upward.

sorry that it's tough right now, but she will grow through this. if you think she needs to talk to someone about her feelings, I suggest that it not be limited to the tryouts. high school is going to have lots of ups and downs. hang in there, OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is not fair. Shady crap goes on all the time. The volleyball coach might be a corrupt and unethical person. And/or you might not have all the information.

If this is the most unfair thing that happens to your child, you are lucky. She's been given information...this volleyball team coach appears to be shady. Why would she want to try out again? If I was her, I'd say something to the athletic director at the school responsible for hiring coaches knowing it might go absolutely nowhere but also knowing that she did the right thing for future players. And then move on. Do not try to play for this coach again. Play club. Find something else to do. She didn't do anything wrong. No shame. Just move on. It's fine to feel bad but she's wallowing and obsessing and time will help with that and you also need to help with that. Frame it as a crappy thing, focus on what you can control, and tell her something good will come from this disappointment that she can't see right now when she fills the time with something else.

What is the point of talking to the ahtletic director? What are they going to do? Punish the already hard to find high school coaches for picking a less talented player for their bench?

Agree about talking to the AD. They are going to take their coach’s side on an issue like this. Imagine the chaos if they forced coaches to make roster changes based on parent complaints. I’m not discounting the OP’s story, but unfortunately this is just one of those life isn’t fair situations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is not fair. Shady crap goes on all the time. The volleyball coach might be a corrupt and unethical person. And/or you might not have all the information.

If this is the most unfair thing that happens to your child, you are lucky. She's been given information...this volleyball team coach appears to be shady. Why would she want to try out again? If I was her, I'd say something to the athletic director at the school responsible for hiring coaches knowing it might go absolutely nowhere but also knowing that she did the right thing for future players. And then move on. Do not try to play for this coach again. Play club. Find something else to do. She didn't do anything wrong. No shame. Just move on. It's fine to feel bad but she's wallowing and obsessing and time will help with that and you also need to help with that. Frame it as a crappy thing, focus on what you can control, and tell her something good will come from this disappointment that she can't see right now when she fills the time with something else.

What is the point of talking to the ahtletic director? What are they going to do? Punish the already hard to find high school coaches for picking a less talented player for their bench?