Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children at the ultimate wealth signifier. This is why DH and I have 5.

Or the opposite. I teach in a Title 1 school and the poorest families have the most kids.

Having lots of kids either means you're poor, religious, or wealthy. The middle class has the fewest children.

Anonymous wrote:Yep. We're an upper middle class family. I looked at my historical budget and see that my 4 kids cost me an extra $100,000 per year. That's net after tax, so really, we have to earn an extra $150k gross to support them. It was about 70k with just 2 kids.
I had NO idea before I had kids. But now I really understand why people are forgoing having kids. It is a total sacrifice

You had no idea 4 kids would cost you a fortune? Come on.

Anonymous wrote:Water's wet and the sky is blue. This is not new information.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why we’re seeing an increase of SAHM.

I despise the way some people think the automatic solution to childcare costs is for the mom to stay home, like the assumption is that the woman’s income is so paltry that it couldn’t possibly more than childcare costs!

+1. Childcare was expensive when we were using it but not even close to my salary. We were still able to buy a house, update it, and contribute to 401ks while having little kids.

My neighbor is a SAHM. Her DH lost his job and has been unemployed for over a year. She hasn’t worked in 15 years and can’t find anything either. They have been living off of their retirement savings (that she’s never contributed to) and she hasn’t virtually no SS contributions. There is absolutely no way I would put myself and my children in that precarious position.

Anonymous wrote:This is why we’re seeing an increase of SAHM.

I despise the way some people think the automatic solution to childcare costs is for the mom to stay home, like the assumption is that the woman’s income is so paltry that it couldn’t possibly more than childcare costs!

Yep. We're an upper middle class family. I looked at my historical budget and see that my 4 kids cost me an extra $100,000 per year. That's net after tax, so really, we have to earn an extra $150k gross to support them. It was about 70k with just 2 kids.
I had NO idea before I had kids. But now I really understand why people are forgoing having kids. It is a total sacrifice

Anonymous wrote:Children at the ultimate wealth signifier. This is why DH and I have 5.

Or the opposite. I teach in a Title 1 school and the poorest families have the most kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children at the ultimate wealth signifier. This is why DH and I have 5.

Do you send them all to private school full pay? If not, you’re just an overbreeder…

Musk isn’t an overbreeder because he can afford so? It’s not crazy because you have the money to double down? I don’t think that’s how it works.

Anonymous wrote:It's cheaper if the woman can stay at home and raise them, then work part time at the children's school.

Absolutely not cheaper to stay home for most women. The cost of daycare is a fraction of my take home pay. The cost of a nanny is a much larger chunk, but I do still take home a non-negligible amount plus have a maxed 401k. It is a major financial setback to stay home. Not saying it’s not worth it for some women and I think it’s a great choice for those who want to. But don’t make it seem like the easy answer.

Anonymous wrote:Then wife stays home

Or husband. It’s worth it.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of wise women get a license and earn amazing money providing high quality care for other children.

As a self-supporting single mother, I did this. It enabled my child [to attend] private schools and annual summer camp in New England.

My rates were higher than the most competitive local preschools.

No screens, of course. You can do a morning program to start. Some families want that. I received payments one month in advance, just like schools do. You need written contracts.

Hopefully at that private school your child learned better sentence construction than your education offered you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

There have now been countless studies busting this myth. As in anything, the wealth of the parents is the overriding factor.

2 income UMC households put their kids in nice daycare (sometimes employer daycare) where the kids actually are engaged by the providers and by 2-3 these places function as nice pre schools.

This. Financial stability is the overriding factor. Not only for the children but also for the marriage. Financial stress in a marriage? No thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of wise women get a license and earn amazing money providing high quality care for other children.

As a self-supporting single mother, I did this. It enabled my child private schools and annual summer camp in New England.

My rates were higher than the most competitive local preschools.

No screens, of course. You can do a morning program to start. Some families want that. I received payments one month in advance, just like schools do. You need written contracts.

Tell us more about this? I've always thought this would be a good way to earn money as a SAHM once your kids are in school full-time but I've never seen it done. How many children did you watch at once?

I used a caregiver like this when mine were very small. She and her daughter who lived with her watched her grandchild plus a few more under-4s. I was a gig worker, so I didn't need a full-time contract, but I know she offered that. She was licensed in my county for up to four infants and never had more than 3 at a time. Miss her -

Anonymous wrote:
Young children require stability of care, basic competence, and love — to grow up healthy.

Which daycare provides all of that?

There have now been countless studies busting this myth. As in anything, the wealth of the parents is the overriding factor.

2 income UMC households put their kids in nice daycare (sometimes employer daycare) where the kids actually are engaged by the providers and by 2-3 these places function as nice pre schools.

Anonymous wrote:Children at the ultimate wealth signifier. This is why DH and I have 5.

Do you send them all to private school full pay? If not, you’re just an overbreeder…