Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck finding young men who want to get married at 25. They are few and far between.

THIS!!! I was desperate to get married at 24-25. The serious boyfriend I had at the time said he wanted to get married and made me believe we were working towards a future together once he was more financially stable so I stuck around til he dumped me when we were both 27. If I could go back and do it again I would have broken up with him when we werent engaged within two years. I know soo many women that end up with these guys that make them believe marriage is coming but they need to wait for whatever reason and waste yearrsss of their lives.

I agree with this. My dh is a super awesome guy and was a perfect boyfriend. We started dating at 20. At 24 I asked him about marriage and he said he hadn't thought about it but didn't want to get married until 30. He had no reason "why" he didn't want to marry, just an age he "thought" he should marry at. He assured me that I was the one though. Oh hell no. I wasn't going to be strung along. I gave him 3 months and said I'd move onto greener pastures where they didn't have an arbitrary age in mind.

He even now talks about how irrational he was being. I think there's just a stigma against men marrying younger.

I've known lots of guys like yours pp who dumped the perfect girlfriend and then quickly married the next one that came along. And they aren't happier than they would have been with the first girl.

Anonymous wrote:“Just find a spouse and get on it” = will be divorced by 45. Worst advice ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck finding young men who want to get married at 25. They are few and far between.

THIS!!! I was desperate to get married at 24-25. The serious boyfriend I had at the time said he wanted to get married and made me believe we were working towards a future together once he was more financially stable so I stuck around til he dumped me when we were both 27. If I could go back and do it again I would have broken up with him when we werent engaged within two years. I know soo many women that end up with these guys that make them believe marriage is coming but they need to wait for whatever reason and waste yearrsss of their lives.

I agree with this. My dh is a super awesome guy and was a perfect boyfriend. We started dating at 20. At 24 I asked him about marriage and he said he hadn't thought about it but didn't want to get married until 30. He had no reason "why" he didn't want to marry, just an age he "thought" he should marry at. He assured me that I was the one though. Oh hell no. I wasn't going to be strung along. I gave him 3 months and said I'd move onto greener pastures where they didn't have an arbitrary age in mind.

He even now talks about how irrational he was being. I think there's just a stigma against men marrying younger.

I've known lots of guys like yours pp who dumped the perfect girlfriend and then quickly married the next one that came along. And they aren't happier than they would have been with the first girl.

Anonymous wrote:The 20 year old Mexican who got pregnant and moved in with the father's family while his mom took care of their child probably had a quasi mother -in -law who was 45 or younger. In the typical UMC family today, the grandparents are 65 plus. It's a lot easier to care for young kids when you are 45. It's a different story in your mid 60s or 70s, especially after the child can walk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People also need to get married younger. Post college mid 20s, so like the 22-27 age range. Combining households is very financially efficient especially when neither is a high income earner. A 2 bedroom 1.5 bath apartment in the low to medium COL city where I used to live is now renting for about $1400/month. A 1 bedroom 1 bath rents for $1100/month. Get off the apps, get married, get those financial/tax benefits that come with marriage, combine households, and everyone comes out ahead and you end up on better financial footing earlier in life.

It’s incredibly daunting to get married young when the quintessential path involves spending $10k on a ring, a $40k+ wedding, buying a $700k+ home, then popping out some kids (more $$$). I can see why kids in their 20s wait. How can you afford that!

I blame consumerism and social media. People were not doing all that in the 1950s. The “bar for entry” into the idealistic instagrammable life was lower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I feel like everyone is trying a little too hard to avoid the true answer to the infertility issues. Have children when you are younger. Even the issues highlighted in this article, and thank you to the author for highlighting the misogynistic tenor of infertility (it's NOT always the woman's fault!), many of which can be avoided by not waiting until your junk is ancient.

I get it, it's hugely inconvenient, you aren't as rich as you imagine you may be in your 30s/40s, you want to party and travel, etc.

I fully respect the choice to be child-free. But if you think you want kids, find a spouse and get on it. Don't spend another twenty years dancing around the reasons for infertility or fertility challenges, we know the answer. Have kids when you are younger!


Link for those of you with accounts, I don't know how to gift an article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/12/opinion/freeze-sperm-infertility-chemicals.html

I had a baby at 32. Sorry I didn’t live a dcum perfect life where I met my soul mate in college, got engaged at 25-26 and then had a baby before 30. I had no issues getting pregnant and I have a healthy child.

+1 "Have children when you are younger"! No thanks, I wanted to be happily married before I had kid. We married at 32 and had two healthy babies without fertility issues at 34 and 38.

Stop with the false dichotomy! It's entirely possible to be happily married in your late twenties and have a baby at 30. It's also possible to be happily married for the first time in your mid thirties and have your first child in your late 30's.

I'm just so sick of the old parents claiming that there is "no way" someone who gets married earlier than they did is happy and thriving.

I'm a "older parent" and I can't only think of one couple I know in my generation that got married and had kids before 30 that is still together. And the vast majority of the rest had divorced (or broke up, in the case of the two unmarried couples I can think of) before 30. Maybe they're happy and thriving now, 10+ years on from the end of the relationship, but they sure as heck weren't for a good long time. Watching young marriages with young kids implode convinced me I was absolutely right to wait until I was in my mid-30s before having a kid.

We know a ton! All of our friends from college who married their college bf/gf are still married except 1 (this is 10+ couples, 20 years later) as well as a ton of our friends from grad school. We were in a social group where my husband attended grad school for people at the school who were already married/had partners. We stayed in touch with most of them and all but one of them are still happily married 17+ years later.

I'm not advocating marrying the wrong person just because you hit a certain age, but when you know you know and I'm so glad I didn' have to wait. I loved being married and starting a family in my 20's.

So you guys are Mormons.

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I think it is a combo of people delaying having kids until older and people being overweight. So many women have pcos now, which makes having children a lot more challenging. Pcos is correlated with being overweight. It is a bit of a which came first, chicken or the egg- but never the less, most women are not at a heathy weight which impacts fertility.

Anonymous wrote:Gen Z Women will do anything to have a baby except have sex with a man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People also need to get married younger. Post college mid 20s, so like the 22-27 age range. Combining households is very financially efficient especially when neither is a high income earner. A 2 bedroom 1.5 bath apartment in the low to medium COL city where I used to live is now renting for about $1400/month. A 1 bedroom 1 bath rents for $1100/month. Get off the apps, get married, get those financial/tax benefits that come with marriage, combine households, and everyone comes out ahead and you end up on better financial footing earlier in life.

It’s incredibly daunting to get married young when the quintessential path involves spending $10k on a ring, a $40k+ wedding, buying a $700k+ home, then popping out some kids (more $$$). I can see why kids in their 20s wait. How can you afford that!

I blame consumerism and social media. People were not doing all that in the 1950s. The “bar for entry” into the idealistic instagrammable life was lower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I feel like everyone is trying a little too hard to avoid the true answer to the infertility issues. Have children when you are younger. Even the issues highlighted in this article, and thank you to the author for highlighting the misogynistic tenor of infertility (it's NOT always the woman's fault!), many of which can be avoided by not waiting until your junk is ancient.

I get it, it's hugely inconvenient, you aren't as rich as you imagine you may be in your 30s/40s, you want to party and travel, etc.

I fully respect the choice to be child-free. But if you think you want kids, find a spouse and get on it. Don't spend another twenty years dancing around the reasons for infertility or fertility challenges, we know the answer. Have kids when you are younger!


Link for those of you with accounts, I don't know how to gift an article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/12/opinion/freeze-sperm-infertility-chemicals.html

I had a baby at 32. Sorry I didn’t live a dcum perfect life where I met my soul mate in college, got engaged at 25-26 and then had a baby before 30. I had no issues getting pregnant and I have a healthy child.

+1 "Have children when you are younger"! No thanks, I wanted to be happily married before I had kid. We married at 32 and had two healthy babies without fertility issues at 34 and 38.

Stop with the false dichotomy! It's entirely possible to be happily married in your late twenties and have a baby at 30. It's also possible to be happily married for the first time in your mid thirties and have your first child in your late 30's.

I'm just so sick of the old parents claiming that there is "no way" someone who gets married earlier than they did is happy and thriving.

I'm a "older parent" and I can't only think of one couple I know in my generation that got married and had kids before 30 that is still together. And the vast majority of the rest had divorced (or broke up, in the case of the two unmarried couples I can think of) before 30. Maybe they're happy and thriving now, 10+ years on from the end of the relationship, but they sure as heck weren't for a good long time. Watching young marriages with young kids implode convinced me I was absolutely right to wait until I was in my mid-30s before having a kid.

We know a ton! All of our friends from college who married their college bf/gf are still married except 1 (this is 10+ couples, 20 years later) as well as a ton of our friends from grad school. We were in a social group where my husband attended grad school for people at the school who were already married/had partners. We stayed in touch with most of them and all but one of them are still happily married 17+ years later.

I'm not advocating marrying the wrong person just because you hit a certain age, but when you know you know and I'm so glad I didn' have to wait. I loved being married and starting a family in my 20's.

Anonymous wrote:People also need to get married younger. Post college mid 20s, so like the 22-27 age range. Combining households is very financially efficient especially when neither is a high income earner. A 2 bedroom 1.5 bath apartment in the low to medium COL city where I used to live is now renting for about $1400/month. A 1 bedroom 1 bath rents for $1100/month. Get off the apps, get married, get those financial/tax benefits that come with marriage, combine households, and everyone comes out ahead and you end up on better financial footing earlier in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I feel like everyone is trying a little too hard to avoid the true answer to the infertility issues. Have children when you are younger. Even the issues highlighted in this article, and thank you to the author for highlighting the misogynistic tenor of infertility (it's NOT always the woman's fault!), many of which can be avoided by not waiting until your junk is ancient.

I get it, it's hugely inconvenient, you aren't as rich as you imagine you may be in your 30s/40s, you want to party and travel, etc.

I fully respect the choice to be child-free. But if you think you want kids, find a spouse and get on it. Don't spend another twenty years dancing around the reasons for infertility or fertility challenges, we know the answer. Have kids when you are younger!


Link for those of you with accounts, I don't know how to gift an article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/12/opinion/freeze-sperm-infertility-chemicals.html

I had a baby at 32. Sorry I didn’t live a dcum perfect life where I met my soul mate in college, got engaged at 25-26 and then had a baby before 30. I had no issues getting pregnant and I have a healthy child.

+1 "Have children when you are younger"! No thanks, I wanted to be happily married before I had kid. We married at 32 and had two healthy babies without fertility issues at 34 and 38.

Stop with the false dichotomy! It's entirely possible to be happily married in your late twenties and have a baby at 30. It's also possible to be happily married for the first time in your mid thirties and have your first child in your late 30's.

I'm just so sick of the old parents claiming that there is "no way" someone who gets married earlier than they did is happy and thriving.

I'm a "older parent" and I can't only think of one couple I know in my generation that got married and had kids before 30 that is still together. And the vast majority of the rest had divorced (or broke up, in the case of the two unmarried couples I can think of) before 30. Maybe they're happy and thriving now, 10+ years on from the end of the relationship, but they sure as heck weren't for a good long time. Watching young marriages with young kids implode convinced me I was absolutely right to wait until I was in my mid-30s before having a kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I feel like everyone is trying a little too hard to avoid the true answer to the infertility issues. Have children when you are younger. Even the issues highlighted in this article, and thank you to the author for highlighting the misogynistic tenor of infertility (it's NOT always the woman's fault!), many of which can be avoided by not waiting until your junk is ancient.

I get it, it's hugely inconvenient, you aren't as rich as you imagine you may be in your 30s/40s, you want to party and travel, etc.

I fully respect the choice to be child-free. But if you think you want kids, find a spouse and get on it. Don't spend another twenty years dancing around the reasons for infertility or fertility challenges, we know the answer. Have kids when you are younger!


Link for those of you with accounts, I don't know how to gift an article:
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/12/opinion/freeze-sperm-infertility-chemicals.html

I had a baby at 32. Sorry I didn’t live a dcum perfect life where I met my soul mate in college, got engaged at 25-26 and then had a baby before 30. I had no issues getting pregnant and I have a healthy child.

+1 "Have children when you are younger"! No thanks, I wanted to be happily married before I had kid. We married at 32 and had two healthy babies without fertility issues at 34 and 38.

Stop with the false dichotomy! It's entirely possible to be happily married in your late twenties and have a baby at 30. It's also possible to be happily married for the first time in your mid thirties and have your first child in your late 30's.

I'm just so sick of the old parents claiming that there is "no way" someone who gets married earlier than they did is happy and thriving.