Make them rend a huge airbnb for a second place to hang out.

This sounds like utter hell. Five days of turning your home into an all inclusive resort for a bunch of relatives!

1. No one stays with you. No cramming people in. No figuring out where to put the kids because so and so is in their room. No, no, no. Be clear you will host Thanksgiving but not house guests.

2. Be clear that everyone can not hang out at your house for five straight days. Offer Thanksgiving and whatever else you WANT to do but do not have people over at different times. I’d do Thanksgiving ( Thursday) , Saturday lunch or dinner and maybe Sunday brunch. Be clear on what times these will be.

PP above and I realize my idea to rent out might seem crazy but it was the easiest Thanksgiving ever!

Get ahead of this - work out a schedule/itinerary and stick to it - then closer to the holidays and everyone’s arrival share with everyone. Agree that if you aren’t the Type A, super organized family member, then delegate this - guarantee you have someone else who’d love to do this! I am this person!

Try to have fewer people stay with you. Maybe encourage those staying elsewhere to “host” an activity (or three) like everyone else join us at the hotel for a swim party, or reserve a hotel party room (we did this for my grandparent’s funeral out of state) as a gathering place. One year my out of state sister hosted a gingerbread house contest at her rental - walking distance from our house.

Huge, mostly local family as DH & I grew up in dc area.

Here’s what we do/have done:

-rent china, glassware and silverware for Thanksgiving dinner. Items are crated and delivered. No washing dishes, either. Rinse and return to crates (like a commercial dishwasher).

- rent folding tables, chairs and linens. The rental company can set up the tables where you want . Again, just removed linens and toss in provided bag. Tables can remain in place or not.

Brooke Rentals, BTW and FTW!

Ordered (in advance) smoked turkey and a basic full meal from Whole Foods. No one is to be heating up or baking a thing at my house on Thanksgiving.

You do not have to eat in the same room at one massive table. We used round tables and had a table in a large foyer, 3 nearby in the living room and used existing kitchen and dining room tables.

Can you shift as many of them as possible (especially those who are unhelpful) to staying at the hotel, and make sure it's one that has breakfast included and ideally a pool for kids? I think that would help a LOT. If you have kids, could they sleep over at the hotel at least one night with grandparents or cousins? If they can have breakfast and go swimming on some of the mornings, and you can go over there some evenings to hang out in the lobby or whatever, that would take some of the stress off you.

Anonymous wrote:
I would never have allowed this in the first place. And there is no playing around in my kitchen on holidays when I need to cook a large meal. How on earth are you chill about this? You have nerves of steel, or you are in denial of your own suffering

This x1000