Anonymous wrote:11. Especially in the age of Uber there is NEVER a reason to drive drunk. I would not require ceasing alcohol, just driving after having ANY. Even one sip. Get a breathalyzer installed on the car

If someone needs a breathalyzer to access their car, its about time to quit drinking, unless they are alcoholic and won't quit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

Not pp but its sad how alcoholics in denial feel so defensive.

It wouldn't be a discussion if he got disabled that day or killed someone else in an accident due to driving under influence. He'll be at the hospital or in a jail. He needs to quit drinking. Why a drink is worth more than his life or someone else's? If its not an addiction, he should be able to quit. If he isn't willing to quit then he has a problem.

Anonymous wrote:He should go to an alcohol awareness class at a minimum

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

Why do people this sour read their own stuff into other people’s posts? You literally have no idea if this is true.

This happened with my xH. I let it slide, although I did write him a heartfelt letter about what if he killed someone, or killed himself, how would the kids and I survive without him, etc.

Second time he did it (he had DC in the car with him!) I put the fear of God in him. I’m talking yelling, letting him entire family know, severe consequences like no more going out alone, etc.

He hasn’t touched alcohol since and it’s been several years. However, he is still very much a dry drunk, unfortunately.

Even my functioning alcoholic husband never gets behind the wheel when drinking. Ever.

We know three people who had family members killed by drunk drivers just in the last 5 years. 2 in our neighborhood.

It’s not ok. Ever. We teach our kids the same- though neither drinks.

We live very walkable place and Uber if we both have drinks at an event or dinner. We also have left a car at friends’ house and Uber’s home and picked it up the next day.

I don’t really drink anymore, so there’s that (mid 50s) and when I know I will- we have a game plan ahead of time - uber, a friend that’s not drinking, etc

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition, would you demand he cease all alcohol moving forward, for a specific period of time, or not at all? Would your reaction change if he's genuinely not a big drinker and you're 100% certain this was an isolated lapse?

"Did you remember to buy milk? No? Well go back! Cmon!"

It's not a big deal OP unless he was speeding along on a freeway. You said yourself it's a rare incident.

So you’re good with someone driving drunk as long as it’s on neighborhood streets? During the day. When kids are put and about?

Why are children in the street? Why aren’t you supervising them?

Why do you think they are in the street? How drunk are you?

I have no idea why children would be in the street; mine never are unless they are crossing securely holding my hand. If you let your kids play in the street, well…

Please explain how holding your hand will protect your child from a drunk who runs the light and hits both of you?

My sis in law's Dad was killed by a drunk driver while he was out walking his dogs. He was not in the street and it was 9 in the morning when he was killed. She managed to kill the dogs too. Now imagine he was out walking with his grandkids. It's happened.

Anonymous wrote:It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

This was not a mistake. This was a grown man whose longstanding issue of problem drinking has grown to the point where his spouse is forced to cry out for help on the Internet

I would, and have, called the police on my spouse when I was aware that he was driving drunk. When you are aware of it, you should do the same.

Mine went to treatment and has been sober for a decade. Normal people do not drive drunk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s never an “isolated incident”. Pull off the blinders. He has a problem.

Obviously there are actually isolated incidents. You just have some bias.

By the time a.drunk is so out of control with their inappropriate drinking that their spouse is crowd sourcing denial and enablement on the Internet, there have been countless prior incidents of one sort or another that have been ignored.

Anonymous wrote:Some anti-alcohol propaganda going on in this thread it's obvious.
Puritanical religious-fueled prohibitionists are still around in this day and age.

I have no problem with alcohol.

I have a huge problem with alcoholics or problem drinkers who recklessly break the law and family members who are minimizing the problem.

Fix it now and completely before someone dies.

Furious. You realize if he hurt someone, he could go to prison and you guys could lose all of your assets in a lawsuit?

It was super dumb of him and he could have killed someone or really ducked up your life. But... people make mistakes. If he doesn't drink a ton, had 3 beers instead of 2 and didn't realize how much the sun would affect him, that's very different than he took shots and then drove home.

He should go to an alcohol awareness class at a minimum