Anonymous
07/21/2025 11:55
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
Anonymous wrote:I did 5 days a week Long Island to Bethesda. Was not to bad. Sunday night wife drive me LIRR then 45 minutes to Penn. At Penn trite to get there 30 minutes early. Then 3.5 hours on regional train DC. Then around 30 minutes on Redline to my apt in Bethesda. Around 5 hours door to door. I do it every Sunday night and return every Friday.
I did not mind. But I was spending 40 hours a month commuting. And cost around $2,500 to $3,000 a month.
But I was amazed on the Sunday in Amtrak Longe in NYC and Amtrak Lounge DC on Friday afternoon I see same people a lot. One guy doing it 20 years.
Reader, his wife was the default parent and hated him so she was glad he did this.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 11:55
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
My sibling lost his job and found a new job an 8-hour drive away. He rented a basement apartment where he stayed during the week, and came home on weekends. Eventually he found a good job at home. The drive was long but he did what he had to do for about a year.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 11:54
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.
It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.
As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.
To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.
Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.
And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.
Happy to answer any questions you have.
So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.
+1. This sounds awful. So wake up at 3:30, leave at 4:30 to drive to train station for a 5 a.m. train and get in to NYC at 9 plus 15 minute commite to the office. Probably work a longer day the first day to cut out at 2:30 the second day. Get to the train station at 2:45 and get into DC at 6:45 plus 30 minutes drive home so home at 7:15. You have 2:15 minutes to eat and see your family if you want to get 6 hours of sleep before doing that all over again every day.
The early Acela got in around 745. Office was right across the street from Penn/MSG. I believe the afternoon train got in closer to 6 or 615. I was typically home by 630-645.
I mean it still sucks, you get 3 hours of time to eat and be with your family and that's if you can make it on 6 hours of sleep. If you want 8 hours you only get 1 hour with them.
I had a wife and new son at home. Just happened that demand for our product took off in NY and we needed to have an office there to service customers. Even if it meant only seeing my son for 30 minutes or an hour, it was important to me. I knew it wouldn't be forever. I generally operate on 4-5 hours of sleep.
Yeah we all knew you were an absent dad. But thanks for clarifying that the situation in which this works is when the man thinks his job is the most important thing and the wife does everything on her own.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 11:48
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
In terms of Super Commuters my friend I think set the record.
When I was big four he was single and the Partner convinced him to do a six month gig at KB Kookmin Bank in South Korea. He lived in NYC. He helped sell it to.
Well he was planning on living in Korea six months. He gets there and the bank goes we need time to review your work and give feedback. It is actually every other week for one year the six months. Since hotels expensive in Korea plus food and T&E billing he take a flight home every other Friday right straight from the office. That was crazy.
When I was big four he was single and the Partner convinced him to do a six month gig at KB Kookmin Bank in South Korea. He lived in NYC. He helped sell it to.
Well he was planning on living in Korea six months. He gets there and the bank goes we need time to review your work and give feedback. It is actually every other week for one year the six months. Since hotels expensive in Korea plus food and T&E billing he take a flight home every other Friday right straight from the office. That was crazy.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 07:51
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
If you're aiming to negotiate, I'd negotiate for 1 week a month in office, with the company paying for your hotel/travel (or hotel, at least). I would think M-Th nights gone once per month would be less disruptive than two days once per week.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 07:49
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
I’d relocate. Mainly because the DC job and housing markets may take decades to recover. Better to live in a region where there is a better job market.
I’d hurry up because housing in NY suburbs will likely increase with the new mayor.
I’d hurry up because housing in NY suburbs will likely increase with the new mayor.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 07:22
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I did 5 days a week Long Island to Bethesda. Was not to bad. Sunday night wife drive me LIRR then 45 minutes to Penn. At Penn trite to get there 30 minutes early. Then 3.5 hours on regional train DC. Then around 30 minutes on Redline to my apt in Bethesda. Around 5 hours door to door. I do it every Sunday night and return every Friday.
I did not mind. But I was spending 40 hours a month commuting. And cost around $2,500 to $3,000 a month.
But I was amazed on the Sunday in Amtrak Longe in NYC and Amtrak Lounge DC on Friday afternoon I see same people a lot. One guy doing it 20 years.
M
DH used to do NYC to Houston M - Thursday for 7 years. He is also clinically insane.
I did NYC to Wilmington M thru Saturday for 6 month, then too many ppl on the project quit they switched to Monday thru Friday, I quit shortly after.
We were both making 70k at that time.
Well I was making a lot more than that and I got laid off prior job so was either do this or not work. Sadly family relocated then laid off like 15 months later. Other people we had a few did the commute and did not relocate who got laid off with me were luckier. You never know. I did not anticipate the lay off and fact work would go remote so I was at new job working from home in a city I relocated to for work.
Today with hybiid I would have never relocated. With 3 day a week in office that would have been easy. Leave Sunday night and be back home Wed Night. But then again come fall more companies are going to be 5x a week at work so who knows
Anonymous
07/21/2025 07:19
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
For me to do this, the comp would have to be very high and the job would have to have a clear path to a promotion (which is rare these days).
Also, with those number of working days in NYC, you may be paying city taxes despite MD residency.
I don’t get why you wouldn’t just rent out your home and move the family to NY. If you guys hate NY, try to find another job from NY.
Also, with those number of working days in NYC, you may be paying city taxes despite MD residency.
I don’t get why you wouldn’t just rent out your home and move the family to NY. If you guys hate NY, try to find another job from NY.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 06:54
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
Anonymous wrote:I did 5 days a week Long Island to Bethesda. Was not to bad. Sunday night wife drive me LIRR then 45 minutes to Penn. At Penn trite to get there 30 minutes early. Then 3.5 hours on regional train DC. Then around 30 minutes on Redline to my apt in Bethesda. Around 5 hours door to door. I do it every Sunday night and return every Friday.
I did not mind. But I was spending 40 hours a month commuting. And cost around $2,500 to $3,000 a month.
But I was amazed on the Sunday in Amtrak Longe in NYC and Amtrak Lounge DC on Friday afternoon I see same people a lot. One guy doing it 20 years.
M
DH used to do NYC to Houston M - Thursday for 7 years. He is also clinically insane.
I did NYC to Wilmington M thru Saturday for 6 month, then too many ppl on the project quit they switched to Monday thru Friday, I quit shortly after.
We were both making 70k at that time.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 04:19
Subject: Re:Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
One day a week is doable. More than that, no.
This all comes down to how long this will take and how bearable it will be for you and your family. I did a commute from the Philly area to NYC back in the day. This was five days a week. It was bearable for me because I knew it would be over in a year and a half, and it ended up in a promotion that was worthwhile to me.
To me, one day a week is nothing. But it may be more than nothing to you. That is a personal decision.
This all comes down to how long this will take and how bearable it will be for you and your family. I did a commute from the Philly area to NYC back in the day. This was five days a week. It was bearable for me because I knew it would be over in a year and a half, and it ended up in a promotion that was worthwhile to me.
To me, one day a week is nothing. But it may be more than nothing to you. That is a personal decision.
Anonymous
07/21/2025 00:12
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
I did this with an elementary school kid and I stopped. Also a fed. Too expensive, too time consuming, too hard on the family and my spouse, not worth it. I was also too exhausted to adequately contribute on travel days. So I got a new job closer.
On paper it sounds fine but then you pack a bag on a Tuesday as your kid is getting a fever and all you can do is leave. Trash life.
On paper it sounds fine but then you pack a bag on a Tuesday as your kid is getting a fever and all you can do is leave. Trash life.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 21:29
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
I did 5 days a week Long Island to Bethesda. Was not to bad. Sunday night wife drive me LIRR then 45 minutes to Penn. At Penn trite to get there 30 minutes early. Then 3.5 hours on regional train DC. Then around 30 minutes on Redline to my apt in Bethesda. Around 5 hours door to door. I do it every Sunday night and return every Friday.
I did not mind. But I was spending 40 hours a month commuting. And cost around $2,500 to $3,000 a month.
But I was amazed on the Sunday in Amtrak Longe in NYC and Amtrak Lounge DC on Friday afternoon I see same people a lot. One guy doing it 20 years.
I did not mind. But I was spending 40 hours a month commuting. And cost around $2,500 to $3,000 a month.
But I was amazed on the Sunday in Amtrak Longe in NYC and Amtrak Lounge DC on Friday afternoon I see same people a lot. One guy doing it 20 years.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 16:23
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I did it for years but I did it daily. Would leave at 430 in the morning and either drive or take Amtrak. Then leave between 2 and 3 to get home in time for dinner, hopefully.
It becomes routine pretty quickly, especially for the pattern you are talking about.
As far as hotels, I would just be flexible but stay under the same umbrella, BonVoy/Marriott is the easy answer. Rates can swing dramatically from day to day and location by location.
To make logistics easier, I would develop a 6-8 day capsule wardrobe and double up what ever you use for your morning and evening skin & hair routine at home. All of it goes in one suitcase and stays in NY. If you can leave suitcase at office that would be ideal, if not there are other options.. Find a good full service laundry/dry cleaner close to office.
Become a regular at a restaurant near work. The familiarity will help mentally. But more importantly, knowing that you have a place where you know you will be taken care of regardless of how busy they are.
And I know this probably not the advice you are looking for, but put extra effort into letting your spouse know that you miss them and that you are not ignoring the relationship/bond. If you aren’t comfortable with phone sex or the occasional flirty text, learn to be.
Happy to answer any questions you have.
So you worked part time? Those hours don’t add up. And you woke up at 3:30 am every day? nothing about that plan sounds like a good idea.
+1. This sounds awful. So wake up at 3:30, leave at 4:30 to drive to train station for a 5 a.m. train and get in to NYC at 9 plus 15 minute commite to the office. Probably work a longer day the first day to cut out at 2:30 the second day. Get to the train station at 2:45 and get into DC at 6:45 plus 30 minutes drive home so home at 7:15. You have 2:15 minutes to eat and see your family if you want to get 6 hours of sleep before doing that all over again every day.
The early Acela got in around 745. Office was right across the street from Penn/MSG. I believe the afternoon train got in closer to 6 or 615. I was typically home by 630-645.
I mean it still sucks, you get 3 hours of time to eat and be with your family and that's if you can make it on 6 hours of sleep. If you want 8 hours you only get 1 hour with them.
I had a wife and new son at home. Just happened that demand for our product took off in NY and we needed to have an office there to service customers. Even if it meant only seeing my son for 30 minutes or an hour, it was important to me. I knew it wouldn't be forever. I generally operate on 4-5 hours of sleep.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 15:31
Subject: Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
I would not be away from an elementary-age kid this much. You can easily have a Bethesda-level QOL in Millburn with better schools.
Anonymous
07/20/2025 15:26
Subject: Re:Does anyone super commute (work in NYC and live in DC)?
DC to NYC for 2 to 3 days a week is doable.
We have a home in one location where one parent works 4 or 5 days a week in a location 1,200 miles away--which is less than a 3 hour plane ride each way. Was not uncommon prior to Covid, but don't hear of it anymore.
We have a home in one location where one parent works 4 or 5 days a week in a location 1,200 miles away--which is less than a 3 hour plane ride each way. Was not uncommon prior to Covid, but don't hear of it anymore.