No!
Absolutely do not reach out directly to your best friend’s husband.
Not only will you lose a sister > you will also cause more issues for your friend. ❤️‍🩹

The best thing you can do for her is just be a loyal listening ear for her when she needs to talk.
It is best to offer her support w/out directly interfering in her personal affairs.

Good luck OP.

I’ll also give my perspective (I’m the PP whose husband also is C suite for a start up and makes $500k, obviously we don’t have the financial benefits of his working for a billion dollar company like your friend but I’ll give my perspective.)

I left my job when I was pregnant with my first born. I didn’t have much of a choice due to my husband’s travel schedule and was happy to do it. In the younger years it benefitted the family immensely, we have an incredible community of friends and I was involved in a lot more than I could be if I worked full time. This was impactful as we aren’t from the area in a very tight knit community so didn’t have the connections many do. Kids are thriving.

Now the bad- most men in these kind of leadership positions often really prioritize work and aren’t the best husbands. My husband loves me (or at least he says he does) and he is a wonderful and involved father but I certainly come last behind job and fatherhood. He just doesn’t have the bandwidth and our marriage feels lonely and kind of sad to me. He leaves a lot for me to deal with because of how demanding his job is and doesn’t follow through on many things he promises to take care of. I handle 99 percent of the mental load. Last few years since my kids are out of pre-K has been insanely rough on my mental health. I do all the things people suggest like volunteer, etc. But I am mentally
bored out of my mind and looking for an outlet for this. As I said I worked for a top company 10 years ago but I’m not exactly a top recruit now. lol! And I know that. I have a small business but I really am sooooo depressed and hopeless I struggle with staying motivated. That’s just the reality of my situation. I’m trying to come up with a plan, maybe she needs your love and support more than you realize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she married someone she didn’t really love for money, lifestyle, status. Now she is faux crying but probably really excited inside about how much money she can take from him. She will have the lifestyle but not have to spend time daily with a man she doesn’t love. Sounds like this was the plan all along.

False. He wasn’t doing well when they got married. He didn’t come from money, didn’t have money, wasn’t making money.
A divorce would take away a lot of perks that come with his job and would change her lifestyle a lot for the worse while his continues to get better, but she doesn’t care about that.
Please be kind.

If he’s CEO at a billion dollar company it may not change it that much, she will walk with a few million. I’m pretty unhappy and my DH makes a decent amount of money ($500k) but this would significantly impact my lifestyle. I don’t see it impacting hers that much.

Anonymous wrote:Also she needs to get a J-O-B. Just to get a little perspective about the real world. Being a SAHW and ruminating all day just doesn’t work for some people.

If she’s divorcing a man who is C-suite at a billion dollar company, and has young kids, she might not need a job.

Women like OP's friend contemplate the do orce route because they know they are going to survive financially.

Men do not think hard enough when they propose. That's the only time they can control the relationship and get rush to propose. No fault divorce has been incredibly beneficial to women. It was meant to protect women who were abused, instead capricious women who are bored are taking advantage of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I just meant tell her DH that she was unhappy so he could try a little harder. I feel like he is a brother to me so I feel badly for him in this too. I wouldn’t mention that she wants to leave. But I won’t do it.

JFC NOOOOOOOO.

+1 And how can he try harder? She married him not loving him and doesn't love him to this day. How is that his fault?

Nothing about this thread seems legit.

He is going to do very well in the dating market. She might do well but she might not.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I just meant tell her DH that she was unhappy so he could try a little harder. I feel like he is a brother to me so I feel badly for him in this too. I wouldn’t mention that she wants to leave. But I won’t do it.

JFC NOOOOOOOO.

Anonymous wrote:Why is the subject line “best friend is divorcing”?

She hasnt consulted lawyers.
She hasnt told him.
She hasnt served him divorce papers.

She only told you she’s unhappy and has been a long time.

True but that seemed like a lot to convey in the subject line 😂

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s and yes two children still at home

How is she married 30 years?

OP here - I never said she was married 30 years, it think it was someone else in a reply but that isn’t correct.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s and yes two children still at home

How is she married 30 years?

OP said she'd known her for 35 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she didn’t realize what love felt like until she did and then she realized how much was missing in her life. I know that sounds crazy but it’s honest.

So did she cheat? Or how did she realize what love felt like? Stop enabling this nonsense fantasy. She is done with her marriage. OK, and so are many many people. All this crap about love this and love that when she has no idea what love is sounds childish. As you encourage her childishness, be ready to keep being the one she will keep whining to when she is divorced and realizes that the grass is not greener on the other side.

Spoken like a man that wants to keep women trapped in unhappy relationships.

??? No, it's just realistic.

She needs a physician, therapist, and a lawyer.

Why is the subject line “best friend is divorcing”?

She hasnt consulted lawyers.
She hasnt told him.
She hasnt served him divorce papers.

She only told you she’s unhappy and has been a long time.

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s and yes two children still at home

How is she married 30 years?