Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 11:23     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:OP your priorities are all screwed up or you place more value on people pleasing others than on focusing on your spouse. For an hour an evening? If you can't watch TV or talk with him for an hour then you are doing too much other crap like making cupcakes.
Dates aren't sex.
Dates are trying to have a special time.
If you don't want to leave the house, put on some earrings and a nice lounge outfit and he spruces up, and order a real meal delivered that you eat by candlelight off a table with real utensils.
If you can't be bothered to do that, you are very selfish or need medication for depression. But the cupcakes and all say you do have energy but only for certain types of external validation,
I am a woman but team DH.


Me, too. OP, your husband was being open and vulnerable when he said that he missed you. Even if once a week isn’t possible in the very near term, you should still show him that you value him and your relationship with him. Before making commitments outside of your marriage, talk about it together. And a date night doesn’t have to mean going somewhere. Either your or him can plan a special dinner after the baby goes to bed - candles and pizza on a picnic blanket with no phones could be something simple and not expensive.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2025 16:21     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
OP your priorities are all screwed up or you place more value on people pleasing others than on focusing on your spouse. For an hour an evening? If you can't watch TV or talk with him for an hour then you are doing too much other crap like making cupcakes.
Dates aren't sex.
Dates are trying to have a special time.
If you don't want to leave the house, put on some earrings and a nice lounge outfit and he spruces up, and order a real meal delivered that you eat by candlelight off a table with real utensils.
If you can't be bothered to do that, you are very selfish or need medication for depression. But the cupcakes and all say you do have energy but only for certain types of external validation,
I am a woman but team DH.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2025 15:50     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Just bend over and spread 'em regularly and he'll be happy.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2025 15:23     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:If you had to ask him to “clarify his needs” you’re already in trouble.


Pretty much.
Anonymous
Post 07/15/2025 00:01     Subject: Re:Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Since you as the woman are likely doing the majority of the babycare here I think your hubby needs to cut you some slack.

Times will be a little different during this stage >> he needs to adjust his own needs accordingly.

There will be plenty of time for togetherness later on.
Right now #1 focus should be on your new baby!
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 23:32     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:... I explained to him that might be tough right now and he seemed annoyed and said I’m choosing everything else but him. I countered with twice a month date night and I see him when I see him.


Can you see how dismissive you sound here? And then later on you say that you’re so bored that you’re spending time baking? You yourself say that you *are* choosing to do other things frequently and that other than two nights in thirty you won’t guarantee that you’ll spend any time with him.

You can comfort yourself that at least when he files for divorce DCUM will probably side with you.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 21:15     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:On this board we don't write "bb" for baby. It's DS for son and DD for daughter.

You could have said, "I would LOVE to spend an hour each night just hanging out with you!" and then tried to do that. Instead you just said no and were very negative.
Or, by typing just two more letters, you can actually spell out, baby and not look like an idiot.


You seem very hung up on this.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 20:50     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:On this board we don't write "bb" for baby. It's DS for son and DD for daughter.

You could have said, "I would LOVE to spend an hour each night just hanging out with you!" and then tried to do that. Instead you just said no and were very negative.
Or, by typing just two more letters, you can actually spell out, baby and not look like an idiot.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 19:58     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Who is busy with work right now? Who is working when baby is less than 4 weeks old - how did you all divide up maternity/paternity leave or do you not have any?


Baby is 5 weeks now. He took 4 weeks and has been to work for a week. I got bored sitting around all day with a sleepy newborn and started doing my side baking at 3 weeks.


It's the 5 week old baby poster. no need to give serious replies. Big clue was the BB at the start of the thread.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 17:55     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Yeah .. I wouldn’t do anymore kids w him
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 17:42     Subject: Re:Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Red flag #1... just so you know this is just the beginning of red flags. Many will say, how did you not see all the red flags when you are dating. Well, they didn't exist. But now he is already complaining that he isn't getting enough attention after the baby was born.

That is Red Flag #1... but you will bend over backward to accommodate him, it won't be enough, he will ask for more and more and more.

You will stupidly have baby #2. The red flags will be on fire.

Welcome to the hell.


Because she's baking desserts for other events. And whatever other trivial BS she deems more important, it doesn't appear to be the baby.


Lord forbid a woman have a life. We have a stage 5 clinger here.


Their baby is ONE MONTH OLD. In that time, they've been in multiple weddings, had family visit, and apparently she has been baking for small events. I would not have been able to do those things one month after having a baby. Maybe her "life" is focused on the wrong stuff. Building a family means moving beyond "being in a wedding" and "having work commitments" being what life is.


Well I guess HE should not have been a groomsman, and HE should have told his parents to NOT visit.


I agree! I also think that HE should plan the dates that HE is asking for. However, SHE sounds offended that he even asked to spend more time with her, and the previous comment implied that him wanting to makes him a stage 5 clinger and that she should live her life.


No she's offended that 2x a month was not reasonable for the 1st few months of the babies life.


Of course it’s not enough time. They’ll be divorced in 2 years at this rate.


Well, at least only had one kid with this loser man baby.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 17:22     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Rather than use your mouth to disagree, you should have been using it for something else.


This.


Y'all are pathetic men..
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2025 16:54     Subject: Husband asked me to spend more time with him
Anonymous wrote:Rather than use your mouth to disagree, you should have been using it for something else.


This.