Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Dad here. If my wife or her friend suggested I should leave my own house for a sleepover, I'd laugh in both their faces. And if I asked my friend of I could crash at his house, he's probably wonder if I was some sort of pedo.

I understand the sentiment but laughing menacingly when someone asks you about being a pedo probably ain’t the flex you think it is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely ask and absolutely NOT be ok with any adult males or teen-males being present in the house overnight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Dad here. If my wife or her friend suggested I should leave my own house for a sleepover, I'd laugh in both their faces. And if I asked my friend of I could crash at his house, he's probably wonder if I was some sort of pedo.

Anonymous wrote:If anyone were stupid enough to ask to see how my guns are secured, I’d just say there are no guns. My Caesar Guerini sporting clays shotgun was >$6k and my husband’s Krieghoff was three times that. I’m not giving out any details about how and where they’re stored any more than I’d answer questions about my jewelry storage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked a friend whose husband is a cop. She gave me a satisfactory response so I sent my kid off after giving her a talk about what to do if a gun was in the room with her. That mom told me I was the first person to ever ask her. We’re still friends.

Wait a minute, your kid is sleepover age and they didn’t know what to do if they see a gun? That’s something you teach a 3 year old!

I guess if you live around guns.

I am so happy my children do/did not know what guns were at that age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked a friend whose husband is a cop. She gave me a satisfactory response so I sent my kid off after giving her a talk about what to do if a gun was in the room with her. That mom told me I was the first person to ever ask her. We’re still friends.

Wait a minute, your kid is sleepover age and they didn’t know what to do if they see a gun? That’s something you teach a 3 year old!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Anonymous wrote:We've recently moved into the world of drop of playdates with families we don't really know - oldest is 5.5, he's been making new friends at camp and was invited over to play last weekend.

How do people handle this generally? It's not guns that worry me as much as creepy/crappy parents, but it's really hard to know/judge. I ended up staying for about 30 mins and chatting until both my kid and I felt comfortable, then I left. I don't think I'm comfortable just dropping my kid off at someone's house who's parent I've never met (we had just exchanged numbers via notes in backpacks from camp) so that felt like a reasonable middle ground. Interested to hear from other folks about how you handle this and how you feel about it.

My other concern is actually unsupervised screens. Like, I do not want my kid alone in a room with his friend and an iPad. Is that something to ask about? Will parents be honest? How best to phrase?

Would love some wisdom from parents of older kids who have been through this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can ask anything you feel concerned about, just to be polite and let the host know you and your child’s nervous and no offense. I didn’t let mine do sleep over and glad I made the right decision, since I later heard the host invited a lot of friends/relatives and they all stayed, filled each room floor. It’s just too concerning if you don’t know anything in advance.

Absolutely NO: adult or teen males, and no guns (real or toy ones).

Wait, so do you expect the dads to leave when your kids are over? My kids have friends whose dads are super involved, as is my husband. They will often take the kids to activities and make them breakfast. I can't fathom telling the mom sorry, I need your husband to go stay in a hotel tonight while my kids spend the night.

I don’t think this is a big ask. The dad / adult boy(s) can just stay at a nearby relative or friends house for one night.

Why not?

Yeah presumably a relative or a friend who doesn’t have children, because we couldn’t expect such a home to host an adult male, right?

🫠