Anonymous
07/17/2025 09:46
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I used to coach high school sports, and I feel guilty about crap I put the parents through all of the time.
I was in med school at the time, so my schedule changed month to month, and so did the practice schedule. I required girls to be there on time, but I routinely went 10-15 minutes over. I wouldn’t allow girls to compete who had missed practice that week. I was really a $h!thead.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this at all, OP. Your daughter probably feels a lot of pressure to be there, and the coaches aren’t making it easy for that to happen.
What sport allows kids to play if they miss practice? All coaches bench players that show up.
I wasn’t doing anything that other coaches weren’t doing, but that doesn’t mean that it’s okay.
I competed in my sport for a few years as an adult, and people missed practice or showed up late or had to leave a little early and it was okay. Adults have responsibilities. We were still very good and I still got a lot out of it.
It doesn’t have to be this way, and I wouldn’t do this stuff now if I were to start coaching again. Parents shouldn’t be constantly asked to rearrange their adult lives so their kids can participate in school activities. Maybe if your child was a prodigy or something, but not regular kids who just want to be on the team.
Anonymous
07/17/2025 08:34
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Anonymous wrote:I used to coach high school sports, and I feel guilty about crap I put the parents through all of the time.
I was in med school at the time, so my schedule changed month to month, and so did the practice schedule. I required girls to be there on time, but I routinely went 10-15 minutes over. I wouldn’t allow girls to compete who had missed practice that week. I was really a $h!thead.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this at all, OP. Your daughter probably feels a lot of pressure to be there, and the coaches aren’t making it easy for that to happen.
What sport allows kids to play if they miss practice? All coaches bench players that show up.
Anonymous
07/17/2025 06:53
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
I used to coach high school sports, and I feel guilty about crap I put the parents through all of the time.
I was in med school at the time, so my schedule changed month to month, and so did the practice schedule. I required girls to be there on time, but I routinely went 10-15 minutes over. I wouldn’t allow girls to compete who had missed practice that week. I was really a $h!thead.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this at all, OP. Your daughter probably feels a lot of pressure to be there, and the coaches aren’t making it easy for that to happen.
I was in med school at the time, so my schedule changed month to month, and so did the practice schedule. I required girls to be there on time, but I routinely went 10-15 minutes over. I wouldn’t allow girls to compete who had missed practice that week. I was really a $h!thead.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this at all, OP. Your daughter probably feels a lot of pressure to be there, and the coaches aren’t making it easy for that to happen.
Anonymous
07/17/2025 06:48
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Anonymous wrote:You should teach her to offer some money for gas. You could also ask if she'd like to have a BBQ or dessert bar for the team at your house, and then have her text the team and say "families welcome" or something.
Help her know it’s better to ask someone who lives nearby. Nearer the better once my 13yo and friends were arranging rides with each other for things for people who live 30 minutes away. That’s not a “ride home”
Anonymous
07/17/2025 06:42
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Anonymous wrote:I'm busy and tired and I don't want to go out of my way to take your kid home. However, I'll say yes if she puts me on the spot by asking and making it clear her own parent sent her with no clear way of getting home. Mentioning that she can just Uber is manipulative, not a real option.
So I'll drive her, but I'm annoyed and I'm judging you hard, OP.
So rude.
I’m a pretty big people pleaser, but I wouldn’t say “yes” if I couldn’t do it.
What are you scared of?
Anonymous
07/17/2025 05:56
Subject: Re:Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
If she doesn’t have a ride home then the coaches are having to hang around waiting for her to be picked up. My kids’ coaches would be really annoyed at that and our AD would be letting you know you need to do better.
IME, kids arrange rides with other kids. I don’t mind if you live close. I’ll still do it if you don’t but it’s an inconvenience. But you should be reciprocating. Like let people know that you are available to drop their kids off after games that parents aren’t attending. Don’t just mooch.
IME, kids arrange rides with other kids. I don’t mind if you live close. I’ll still do it if you don’t but it’s an inconvenience. But you should be reciprocating. Like let people know that you are available to drop their kids off after games that parents aren’t attending. Don’t just mooch.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 13:55
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Do you live out of the way of most of these kids and families, OP? One family we know who requests rides lives in Brookland, which is 30+ minute drive from the activity and then another 30+ minutes back to our place so adds well over an hour to my day if we give the kid a ride. I did it once to be nice, but that's just too much. I work, too, but am available for my kid since I have a somewhat flexible schedule. I would help in an emergency but a regular occurrence is not acceptable.
The other kids (twins) we know who always need rides have a SAHM that is always out sailing or going on retreats and has them try to mooch rides from others; she never, ever reciprocates and the dad works "so *obviously* he just can't do it!" I only give the kids a ride if they and my kid have prearranged plans together.
Op here. We are in what’s probably considered an ex-urb of the DMV, all of the team members are zoned to the high school and within 10/15 minutes or less of the school and each other given town size.
If this is the case have her ride her bike. This is what I did growing up in a town this size. That would be a very reasonable bike ride.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 13:49
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
I’m dying over this parent being like “the other parents don’t seem to want to socialize with me, it’s so weird.”
Anonymous
07/15/2025 13:44
Subject: Re:Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Anonymous wrote:These parents are probably annoyed at having to do your job.
Use the uber or do a flex schedule.
This. Your kid should not just mooch rides all summer.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 13:25
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
As a parent you need to secure your DD a ride to and from where she needs to go, otherwise she needs to learn how to bus everywhere on her own. She shouldn't be relying on other parents to give her a ride regularly.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 11:46
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
A regularly scheduled carpool, with reciprocity, is fine. A kid occasionally needing a ride unexpectedly is fine.
Counting on other people to drive your kid every day, with no reciprocity (& no actual plan), is not fine. It’s not fair to the families who plan ahead & perhaps sacrifice (lower paying jobs with flexibility, lost income from one parent not working, a parent needing to work more after dinner to make up lower hours, etc.). If I can’t get my child to/from an activity, they don’t sign up. It sucks, but that’s life.
Counting on other people to drive your kid every day, with no reciprocity (& no actual plan), is not fine. It’s not fair to the families who plan ahead & perhaps sacrifice (lower paying jobs with flexibility, lost income from one parent not working, a parent needing to work more after dinner to make up lower hours, etc.). If I can’t get my child to/from an activity, they don’t sign up. It sucks, but that’s life.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 09:57
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Get the uber app. I did this for my oldest when he was starting HS.
No, you don’t send her and hope she can beg for a ride home. No, you don’t have a bbq and say families welcome. This isn’t elementary school. No one wants to come to that.
He was never turned down from and uber driver and now there is uber teen too. Other parents are working too and might be running on a lunch break or sending an older sibling to pick up, like we are now doing for kid 2.
No, you don’t send her and hope she can beg for a ride home. No, you don’t have a bbq and say families welcome. This isn’t elementary school. No one wants to come to that.
He was never turned down from and uber driver and now there is uber teen too. Other parents are working too and might be running on a lunch break or sending an older sibling to pick up, like we are now doing for kid 2.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 09:37
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
Your kid will suffer socially for this. Other parents will tell their kids to avoid yours. Nobody wants to be put on the spot by people begging. Especially when it’s a luxury and you should have just not allowed her to sign up in the first place.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 09:12
Subject: Is this behavior considered resourceful and to be encouraged?
I'm busy and tired and I don't want to go out of my way to take your kid home. However, I'll say yes if she puts me on the spot by asking and making it clear her own parent sent her with no clear way of getting home. Mentioning that she can just Uber is manipulative, not a real option.
So I'll drive her, but I'm annoyed and I'm judging you hard, OP.
So rude.
So I'll drive her, but I'm annoyed and I'm judging you hard, OP.
So rude.