I don't charge my kid anything. But he pays his own bills with the exception of health insurance; he's still on my plan. But he does pay his own co-pays and any other expenses he has like clothes, stuff for his car, toiletries, or whatever. I don't buy him stuff anymore. I don't make him help with groceries but if there's something special he wants he gets it himself.

I don't see the point in charging him rent and giving it back. He is an aggressive saver and has learned about the stock market, investing, savings plans, and how to invest. Heck, I've asked him for advice on my retirement account. I think he knows best how he wants to save/invest his own money, I don't need to hold any of it for him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd charge her somewhere between $200-$400 per month. And then keep it in a separate account and give it back to her when she moves out.

+1 and tell her that you're doing this – it's to help her budget and she'll read the rewards for at the end.

+2

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our son lived with us for over a year after he graduated. He had a fairly well paying job ($70k/yr) and did it to build up his savings/investments. We sat down with him and showed him what he could/should be doing. Didn't charge him rent or food. Just went over basic expectations regarding household, like letting us know if he was going to stay out late, etc.

He has an apartment about 15 mins away from us now, and a better job. Still stops by for dinner or to hang out once or twice a week depending on his schedule and ours.

Again, why all the drama?

Each of our four kids spent a varying amount of time living with us after college before going off and doing their thing. There was no grand discussion of expectations, none of this “charge rent and give it back” or “teach them how to budget and set up a retirement account” bullshit, etc. They just graduated, moved in, and we crossed bridges when we came to them. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I don't think it's drama. Some of us are worried about raising failure to launch kids. We don't actually want them living with us at 30, so we're thoughtful about the terms in which they can move back home as a young adult.

Charging a couple hundred a month for rent isn't going to prevent a failure to launch kid. That's still hundreds, if not thousands, less than what they would pay for rent on their own. So in theory, they still wouldn't have motivation to move out just because they have to pay you $200.

I never suggested $200. I'd charge them market rent for a room in our house, which is probably more like $800, and I'd save it for them to use as a down payment when they are ready to move.

Why must you treat them as a child in this way? That is the kind of thing I would do for a 10-year-old.

Because the act of moving back home to your parents' house after college is childish. If it's for up to 3 months while they get ready to start a new job, no big deal; any longer, they are avoiding adulting and will be met with a degree of paternalism from us.