I grew up as a military kid so we moved several times. My parents divorced when I was in high school and moved to completely different states. When I graduated from college, I moved here to the DMV for the adventure and a job. Both of my parents moved again so neither one of them settled where they had lived when I was in my late high school and college years. I had to fly 1/2 way across the country to visit them. "Home" was where my mom lived - in a house and city I had never lived in. It didn't bother me at all UNTIL I had my own children. That's when I hated being so far away from my parents. I wished I could just take the kids to grandma's house, let them play in the backyard while we drank coffee and chatted. Have grandpa come watch the kids in their band concert in elementary school. All of the little things in life.

DH and I have 3 children. One is already launched, living on his own about 10 miles from our house. Middle one just graduated from college and has a local job but will be living at home for at least a year to save some money. DC #3 is a rising junior in college. I'm not sure where he'll land but the other two are most likely going to settle here for the long term. We have no reason to leave the area. Our house is comfortable and CHEAP. There's a part of me that would love to move to a lower cost of living area with less congestion. But I don't want to be away from my children, so we're staying put. We recently renovated our kitchen and the contractor made a comment about resale. I told him we're not selling, I'm in this house until I'm removed via a casket.

Anonymous wrote:Our time on this Earth is limited. Nothing is more important than loving your family and friends. I have always looked at our home as a blessing. So, I will keep it for as long as I can. To have such a well maintained and comfortable home that accommodates my family, and which has always been financially affordable to is is a privilege. God is great.

I agree with all do this but the God part. I’m agnostic, bordering atheist.

I am an only mom from a big city, and have stayed in a place (small city) for my daughter to have a stable life for over a decade. My ex was a dud. I never dated for that reason. She is 21 now, and she is almost finished university. I love my job, but I want to move to another city to experience life again.

Anonymous wrote:After your children leave the nest, do you feel obligated to stay in the home where you raised them or do most people end up selling/renting and moving elsewhere?

Do you feel obligated to stay in the home after any set period of time. As a young college student before I flew off, I would come home during college breaks and always felt a level of stability knowing my parents were there.

Since then, my parents have moved and now travel the world.

Absolutely stay until they have graduated from undergrad and have their first job. If they hit a crisis, and need a home to come home to, I want the home they grew up in to be there.

Nope, will stop paying my 40k property tax as soon as youngest one graduates high school.

We're in NYC and planning on staying in our current apartment.

Anonymous wrote:Our time on this Earth is limited. Nothing is more important than loving your family and friends. I have always looked at our home as a blessing. So, I will keep it for as long as I can. To have such a well maintained and comfortable home that accommodates my family, and which has always been financially affordable to is is a privilege. God is great.

Atheist here who agrees with this 100%!

Two kids, our youngest just graduated from college. We are staying in the family home because we still need to work at our jobs and the economics of selling our house don't really make sense unless we are leaving the area. We have a very affordable mortgage. Plus, we live in a small home, so we aren't looking to downsize further--in fact, our cozy home that was great for raising 2 kids in feels too small for the kind of entertaining we do as empty-nesters with adult kids and siblings/friends who visit and stay with us periodically. I'd like a home with a bigger family room and dining area, and another bedroom and bathroom. But we can't afford that in DC. So we are staying right here for the time being. In 4-5 years, when we retire, we'll decide what to do then, based in part on where the kids are. But the default plan is to move to New England, where our older kid and extended family are living.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you are all family centric yada yada and stay. Kid stops coming home except once starting junior year.
After gets job never wants to come home. Hahhah. Guess they aren't obligated.

Yes, I can see why your kid never wants to come home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can move. The children do not care.

My children went to boarding school, then uni with summers spent traveling, then got jobs and moved. This living in one house for 40 years is completely provincial and depressing.

Some of us prefer to actively raise our children.

Seriously. What is "provincial and depressing" is the PP's entire post.

Anonymous wrote:You can move. The children do not care.

My children went to boarding school, then uni with summers spent traveling, then got jobs and moved. This living in one house for 40 years is completely provincial and depressing.

What's depressing is assuming your kids "don't care" at all about their childhood home. Our kids have also traveled and lived abroad, but they're still very much attached to the home in which they grew up and we're glad to be that anchor that they (and any future grandkids) can always come home to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not obligated to house your kids after college or after they get a job if not going to college. Helicopter gets retired at some point.

That's the view of a very small group of people, mostly American, mostly untethered to family values. And I say this as lefty European, not as a product of some third world regressive culture.

DP. I'm American and don't feel like the PP one iota. Our kids are welcome in our home anytime at all, for however long they need/want.

Anonymous wrote:After your children leave the nest, do you feel obligated to stay in the home where you raised them or do most people end up selling/renting and moving elsewhere?

Do you feel obligated to stay in the home after any set period of time. As a young college student before I flew off, I would come home during college breaks and always felt a level of stability knowing my parents were there.

Since then, my parents have moved and now travel the world.

WHY would you feel "obligated" either way?

If you have a nice place then keep it or let your kids start taking ownership of it.

It's ridiculous to sell property for whims. Keep it and buy more.

We will move but she’s cool with it. We’re all sick of living in our neighborhood so she’s excited to go elsewhere on her breaks.

Our time on this Earth is limited. Nothing is more important than loving your family and friends. I have always looked at our home as a blessing. So, I will keep it for as long as I can. To have such a well maintained and comfortable home that accommodates my family, and which has always been financially affordable to is is a privilege. God is great.