Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 13:00     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family


Moveeeeeeeeeee ON
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:59     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
I would have proposed to a former gf if it wasn’t for her family.

Trust your gut, OP.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:53     Subject: Re:Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They’re not going away.

It will get worse as they get older.

How he handles them is everything.


All of this.

I’ll add that as long as you like his parents, not liking his sibling and their spouse is much less of an issue.


Not necessarily true if he is closer to his siblings than he is to his parents.

OP, be honest with yourself. How bad is it. If it3s very bad, run.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:36     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 30 and met the perfect guy for me almost 1 year ago. He meets and exceeds everything I want in a husband. The only drawback I keep trying to dismiss is that I don’t love his family. His parents are wonderful but his brother and wife are very pretentious and arrogant. They are fairly close and get together pretty often so I’m around them a far amount. I don’t see this ending us but I really would love some insight for people have been there. I’m sure I’m not the only one who is dating someone who doesn’t love their family.


You’ll be too busy to hang out with the brother and SIL.

What makes them so arrogant or pretentious actually?
They went to prep school or they’re racist?
They buy overpriced stuff they can’t afford or they are value shoppers and have opinion in product quality?
They gossip a lot?
They are shallow and superficial? (Those are everywhere jsut avoid and be civil)

How serious are your examples.?.


I explained a little. His brother has a lot of money. He brags about his money and his job. His wife is a SAHM and brags about being able to stay home. She told me I should earn more to keep up with my boyfriend if I wanted to marry him. She made a lot before she quit. I’m not as educated as they are.

Not a racist. They do live in an expensive home that they brag about. They tell everyone how much they paid for their house, their car, expensive furniture, etc. They brag a lot. Even his brother said people think he’s a douchebag when they first meet him.

Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:33     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In your situation, I would be a lot more concerned if I didn’t like the parents.

And a pretentious brother and sister-in-law is a lot better than if they were attacking you or disrespecting you in some significant way.

So, for me that would not be a dealbreaker.

+1.

But I’d also keep your eyes open. It’s not good that you think he’s perfect. Nobody is. Either he is keeping things from you and putting on a show of perfection (like many abusers and narcissists do early on) or you just need a LOT more time with him to really know him.


I don’t think he’s perfect. I think he’s perfect for me. There’s a difference.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:32     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:You will be interacting with the sibling & family a lot. Sounds like they live close by. Are you up to doing that for the next many years?


I think so. They are good people - just annoying.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:29     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t like my BIL’s fiancé. I’m sure she doesn’t like me either. Maybe she can be OP.

I’m a SAHM and DH is successful. I would be perfectly fine never seeing them. We are busy with our own kids and friends. BIL is the one who always invites himself over. It wasn’t so bad when it was just him. Now his fiancé comes also and it is awkward.


I don’t care that she stays home and he works. That’s perfectly fine for them. It’s just the annoying boasting that gets to me. She spends the entire time talking about herself and her genius baby who literally seems like a normal baby.


I’m not sure how any baby can be a genius. It is pretty normal for a new first time mom to be in love with her baby. Usually you gush and say these things to just your spouse.

DH and I often look at our children and say how perfect they are. Our DD is beautiful and so smart. I would not go around to others and talk about how smart she is. We live in an area full of smart people. I’m sure many parents love and adore their children.

OP seems like the one trying to stir up trouble when there isn’t any. New parents bragging about a genius baby? Most new parents will take a gazillion photos and videos of baby, toddler, child.


There baby is absolutely adorable but the bragging is over the top. It’s not just
“ my baby is cute” stuff. They grab that their daughter is just better and learning faster than any baby they know. How she rolled over at 1 month, took to nursing super well and easily, was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks, she sat up early, crawled early, how she already talks and that she is so much smarter than her peers. They talk about how she is definitely going to be an early walker and is far ahead of her cousins and their friends babies. It’s really annoying when it’s the entire topic of conversation for like an hour.

Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:21     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
I don't understand why you're so bothered about BF's brother/SIL.

They're nice to you, right? They're not talking to you disrespectfully. Sounds like they're enjoying their lives and telling the world how happy they are with their beautiful baby.

If you have a problem with that, it's your problem. You sound jealous or competitive, hence your annoyance with them.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 12:03     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous.


Maybe Op doesn’t have any newlywed friends or SAHM friends, or friends with newborns. Maybe she isn’t familiar with those topics popping up in convos.


When I was in my twenties and not married, I had a friend who had a baby and I felt sorry for her. She was a mess. I’m a SAHM of 3 now. I doubt I would be clicking with some unmarried new woman in my life. I was very full of myself when I was OP’s stage in life.

There are controlling in laws, destitute in laws, in laws with mental illness. Pretentious and snobby seem fine.

My BIL is a know it all. I find him annoying and I would never hang out with him on my own. I have to see him and his even more annoying fiancé now. It is what it is. She is also pretentious. Maybe she thinks we are too. Oh well.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 11:52     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
If his parents are fine, it's fine.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 11:39     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
A guy who wanted to see his family a few times a week simply wouldn’t be right for me. I don’t want to see my own family a few times a week. You need to think ahead. Do you really want to be dragging babies and kids around to see these people multiple times a week? I would not.

And I don’t hate family. I just like time with my husband, time with my husband and kids and time to veg out. I think seeing family 1-2 times a month is plenty.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 11:21     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In your situation, I would be a lot more concerned if I didn’t like the parents.

And a pretentious brother and sister-in-law is a lot better than if they were attacking you or disrespecting you in some significant way.

So, for me that would not be a dealbreaker.


They don’t attack me in any way. They are just very pretentious with their
“ genius” baby and his “ high powdered” job. His wife boasts on and on about her baby and how she is a SAHM because her husband is wealthy. It’s very annoying. I tune out half of it. I wouldn’t mind if it was a distant relative but it’s his brother and wife who we will see fairly often.


Stop being judgmental.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 11:04     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous.


Maybe Op doesn’t have any newlywed friends or SAHM friends, or friends with newborns. Maybe she isn’t familiar with those topics popping up in convos.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 11:03     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:I'm going to say he's not for you because you're already wanting to cause problems


Also true.


How great an impression do your siblings make Op?

My BiL still lives at home with his parents and is unemployed. Oh well.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2025 11:02     Subject: Perfect guy but I hate his family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In your situation, I would be a lot more concerned if I didn’t like the parents.

And a pretentious brother and sister-in-law is a lot better than if they were attacking you or disrespecting you in some significant way.

So, for me that would not be a dealbreaker.


They don’t attack me in any way. They are just very pretentious with their
“ genius” baby and his “ high powdered” job. His wife boasts on and on about her baby and how she is a SAHM because her husband is wealthy. It’s very annoying. I tune out half of it. I wouldn’t mind if it was a distant relative but it’s his brother and wife who we will see fairly often.


She sounds boring as F.