[quote=Anonymous]The problem is you. YOU decided it was no big deal. But it was a big deal to him. You kept insisting it wasn't, when it was TO HIM. [/quote]

Yes I was about to write this but you nailed it. Nothing is worse than someone railroading your personal feelings. It makes a person feel unheard. Like Mom isn’t listening.

I have a 10 year old who has been medicated for anxiety for about 2 years. We just recently decided to cut back on the meds because he seems to be doing really well. What we saw when we dropped meds is what you describe with your son. It's not the full on panic attacks he was having initially that led us to meds, he has controlled so much anxiety, but we are left with the edginess and inability to regulate at times. I just mention it because its definitely anxiety based so you should talk to a professional for suggestions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that helped my kid like this was medicating his ADHD. When he didn’t have to work SO HARD to keep it together all day long, he still had emotional energy to keep it together over small stuff like spilled drinks.

I think that most professionals would laugh at him being medicating for this. He’s a really easy going kid in school and any kind of sports, self motivated and does his hw and work by himself, has never had a single behavioral issue at school or prek. Has a ton of friends and great relationships with teachers and coaches. I asked the counselor to get involved bc it’s an issue with us.

The whole naming the feeling does not work for my kid age 8 and had not for years. In fact she resents me telling her how she feels - wouldn’t you if an adult said something like you must be upset etc. I say “what’s going on with you” and she will say I’m mad and I say that’s ok to be mad. I let her name the feeling vs telling her how she feels.

OP, this is a great read: https://open.substack.com/pub/unpopularparent/p/parenting-myth-3-my-kids-crisis-is-always-urgent?r=egr6x&utm_medium=ios

Anonymous wrote:My DS has been the same. Better when he’s older.

When he’s calm you need to talk to him about being safe even when he’s mad. No crossing streets, no walking away, etc. Tell him he’s allowed to be angry, but taking it out on everyone is not constructive. Talk about ways to handle things.

This.
I would address the safety issue before anything else.