Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really important that the family stand up and protest against this wildly negligent SIL. If baby dies or is permanently disabled, they will need to know they did everything they could - and tell their children and grandchildren that. One cannot sit idly by while an innocent child’s suffering is preventable.

I 100% agree with you but the SIL will not buy this. She will say that *not* vaccinating the baby is doing everything she can do in the event the baby is injured by the vaccine. I am not the OP, but 99.9% sure this is where the mom is gonna be on this.

Isn't RFK actually in favor of the measles vaccine after the most recent outbreaks?

What freaking morons all of these people are.

If I truly cared I would approach in a caring and nonjudgmental way. People like your SIL have a high distrust of the establishment and pressuring them will only make them dig in.

I would try to relate to her as a mom who is trying to do best for her kids but doesn’t know who to trust. She may not change her mind today but she will consider you a safe resource and you can hopefully help her come around in the long run.

I think the work you need to do is on your brother, to convince him to take the baby to the doctor and have the baby vaccinated.

I feel like this thread shows democrats in such a poor light. I am a democrat, family all vaccinated (we even get covid vaccinations!). But the misinformation and fearmongering here is out of control. People are heartbroken! The child will be seriously ill or die! The kid should get vaccinated, but he’s very likely to be fine. It’s a lot like seatbelts - you should wear one always but for the vast majority of trips, we’d be fine without it. When we make these wild claims and it doesn’t pan out, we look like liars and are less believable when it matters.

1. Your SIL is a Trump supporter.

2. You BIL is not vaccinating his baby. as pp pointed out he could get the baby vaccinated which means he feels the same way SIL does.


3. There's nothing to confront these selfish idiots on. what they need is consequences. Meaning you don't attend family events with them and your DH should have a serious talk with his parents about visiting with them.

Anonymous wrote:Shouldn’t families be enmeshed??? Don’t get this DCUM view at all.

No

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really important that the family stand up and protest against this wildly negligent SIL. If baby dies or is permanently disabled, they will need to know they did everything they could - and tell their children and grandchildren that. One cannot sit idly by while an innocent child’s suffering is preventable.

If family members ever “stood up to protest my supposed wild negligence” regarding a parenting choice, they would not be seeing much of our family for a good long while and the relationship may be permanently damaged.

And I think the SIL and BIL are fools for not vaccinating. FWIW.

Our siblings do all sorts of things with our nieces and nephews that we disagree with. We mind our own business. I’m sure they feel the same about our parenting at times, and they mind their own business.

Unless it is CPS-worthy issue of immediate danger or clear abuse, MYOB. This does not qualify, even if some people think it should.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why can't you respect their choice?
Hard Stop.

Why can’t SIL respect her brother’s opinion?

Works both ways.

Fair.. However, Doesn’t appear SIL cares if her BIL & (OP)SILs kids are vaccinated

Anonymous wrote:
Why can't you respect their choice?
Hard Stop.

Why can’t SIL respect her brother’s opinion?

Works both ways.

Anonymous wrote:She is not interested in your facts and won't believe them. An intervention won't help. Maybe try the angle of getting her screened for PPD? Perhaps her hormones and brain chemistry are out of whack and that medication will help?

This is so offensive. BIL is making this call too and you aren’t blaming his hormones.

Just because you’re family doesn’t mean you’re never going to be exposed to viewpoints you disagree with. SIL and her husband can handle hearing from a brother who disagrees with her vaccine decision as long as it’s a subject brought up respectfully. Will OP’s husband change anything? Probably not. But SIL isn’t owed his silence.

I think it’s really important that the family stand up and protest against this wildly negligent SIL. If baby dies or is permanently disabled, they will need to know they did everything they could - and tell their children and grandchildren that. One cannot sit idly by while an innocent child’s suffering is preventable.

It’s your husband’s family. If he wants to have a discussion then don’t stand in his way. I would do the same if I were him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why can't you respect their choice?
Hard Stop.

Because their choice is dangerous for them and for people around them.

I don't understand why the BIL isn't gething the baby vaccinated. Last I checked, routine healthcare didn't require the consent of both parents.

I hear ya'... But it's not OP's decision to make. Maybe the BIL agrees w his wife and doesn't want to vaccinate either.
Again, bc you don't agree doesn't give you a right to stage an intervention, force your beliefs or medical findings on them/anyone.

It's THEIR child.

+1

OP what do you expect is going to happen here exactly? “SIL I demand you vaccinate your baby. You are ignorant and ill informed” and you think she is going to say “oh, yes of course you are right. I’ll make an appointment this week. Thanks so much for setting me straight.”

I mean…really? LOL.

And I certainly do not agree with your SIL. But is is their kid. Pushing the issue or inserting yourselves is highly likely to cause family relationship problems & a digging in of heels.

MYOB.

What about the business of the child, the rest of OP’s family and society at large? I understand that there’s not much OP can do but I also understand being concerned and wanting to talk to her in laws to see why this is happening.

What about it? It is not illegal- it is a parenting decision, no matter how much we (or the extended relatives) may disagree. Same as many of the other hot button parenting choices that arise within families- religious ceremonies, education, behavior, feeding choices, sleep, strange family rules (various), assorted safety issues, even baby naming.

No matter how much extended family may disagree, it is all up to the parents. Trying to “make it your business” is just going to cause family drama (and probably won’t get the results you want).

Shouldn’t families be enmeshed??? Don’t get this DCUM view at all.