Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

How did they "come out ahead"? Their kids might be miserable in a job in a STEM/higher paying area. I prefer to let my kids select their life and career path.
However, it comes with discussions about what you might do with a certain major, or how it might be easier to land a job with a MechE degree versus an English degree---that the English major might have to work a bit harder to find what they want to do, and that initially they might not get paid as much (first 3-5 years+). But if my kid wanted to major in English they could.

I don't know - my parents talked me out of going into journalism, and it was probably for the best. I wouldn't be able to afford my lifestyle if I didn't choose a higher-paying field, and I like my lifestyle.

As long as you are happy that is what matters. But yes, sounds like they talked you out of it and into something else you enjoy that pays more/is an easier path, most likely they knew you wanted a "higher cost lifestyle".

Glad you don't blame your parents. But I cannot imagine forcing my kid to choose a higher paying one.
And I grew up poor. My parents agreed to pay for 5 years of undergrad so I could get 2 degrees. One in CS/Engineering and one in music performance. They told me it was my choice what I did after college, but I was on my own financially. I preferred not to be poor so chose the CS and did the music as a hobby (But I attended school with several people who play in major symponies now and I was just as good as them in school, often beating most of them each quarter for top spot in the orchestra). I'm happy with my choices, as I prefer not struggle with money. But I also loved my STEM major and wasn't pushed into it. I was just genuinely good at both fields and loved them both. So it's easy to pick the one that gives more stability and better lifestyle.

If your parents paid for your undergrad (and 5 years at that), you did not grow up poor. Unless you mean you grew up poor until right before college when your parents came into a bunch of money and paid for your college. Real poor people don't have any expendable income to pay anything for their kids' college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

Plenty of cool-sounding but ultimately misleading and pointless master's programs and career tracks that are interesting when you're in your early 20s but don't pan out unless you make the very top 1%. Things like museum studies or any kind of social services work.

I did a master's in city planning and it was entirely due to one conversation I had in senior year in college when I mentioned to a professor I liked architecture but was more interested in seeing how spaces come together than individual buildings and he suggested planning. Since I didn't know what else to do I went ahead, with some misguided belief that it could be the beginning of a career in RE development. Actual outcome, despite a fancy professional school, was an entry level county planning job, just like most of my peers from the program. Now that we're 20 years out I'd say the top 10% of grads have done fine, typically in the 100-150k job brackets as senior planning administrators or equivalents, a director or two. Bottom 90% are just plodding along having lots of meetings and writing policy reports no one really looks at and attending nighttime community meetings and making 50-80k.

As a PP commented, jobs requiring the same aptitude and workload can have hugely different salaries. I figured this out quickly and after a few years as a planner lucked into a corporate gig and now easily make at least double what I'd have made had I remained in the field and interviewed my way up to a supervisor level role. It means a very different lifestyle. I know my output and effect on the world is meaningless, but it's also true for almost all planners too. Our day to day work is not dissimilar, it's lots of team meetings and preparing reports (them) or strategies (me) but I make double. The people like me who left the planning field for more lucrative roles have all had the same experience and with no regrets.

Following your "heart" when you're 21 in most cases doesn't deliver the outcome you think it will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

What is it do you think won't pay well?

Anonymous wrote:I did study what was interesting to me (history and political science) and ended up in a somewhat lucrative field (marketing for consumer goods companies). I could have very well gone to law school with my major.

I do regret not going to law school. It is one of my only regrets in life. I didn’t work hard enough and my father (a big law partner) discouraged me and my siblings from going into law.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

Struggling with this now with one DC.

They want to major in something that isn't going to pay well. That would be fine except for the fact they like their comfortable lifestyle and to shop, a lot. I keep telling them that this job doesn't pay well, but they keep saying that they know. But, I don't think they really know.

I tried to explain to them the cost of rent, food, insurance, etc.. and then they would tell me that I'm discouraging. I tell them I'm trying to get them to be realistic, but they keep fighting me.

I don't want them to be in a situation where it become much more difficult to pivot and to struggle.

I grew up lower income, to immigrant parents who don't speak English. I struggled a lot. I have shared with them how difficult it was to be poor and not have any guidance. So, I'm trying to give them as much information as possible because I don't want them to end up struggling like I did.

It all falls on deaf ears.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are immigrants of South Asian origin and most of my friends don't give kid option to go into lower paying fields and I feel like they came out ahead in long term even if there was friction for some years. We let our kids decide what they wanted and just supported that.

How did they "come out ahead"? Their kids might be miserable in a job in a STEM/higher paying area. I prefer to let my kids select their life and career path.
However, it comes with discussions about what you might do with a certain major, or how it might be easier to land a job with a MechE degree versus an English degree---that the English major might have to work a bit harder to find what they want to do, and that initially they might not get paid as much (first 3-5 years+). But if my kid wanted to major in English they could.

I don't know - my parents talked me out of going into journalism, and it was probably for the best. I wouldn't be able to afford my lifestyle if I didn't choose a higher-paying field, and I like my lifestyle.

As long as you are happy that is what matters. But yes, sounds like they talked you out of it and into something else you enjoy that pays more/is an easier path, most likely they knew you wanted a "higher cost lifestyle".

Glad you don't blame your parents. But I cannot imagine forcing my kid to choose a higher paying one.
And I grew up poor. My parents agreed to pay for 5 years of undergrad so I could get 2 degrees. One in CS/Engineering and one in music performance. They told me it was my choice what I did after college, but I was on my own financially. I preferred not to be poor so chose the CS and did the music as a hobby (But I attended school with several people who play in major symponies now and I was just as good as them in school, often beating most of them each quarter for top spot in the orchestra). I'm happy with my choices, as I prefer not struggle with money. But I also loved my STEM major and wasn't pushed into it. I was just genuinely good at both fields and loved them both. So it's easy to pick the one that gives more stability and better lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because after the first few years the work becomes more and more the same.

If you're going to spend all day typing sh!t into a computer and going to meetings, it doesn't really matter what field you're in. So you may as well be in a field that makes 400k vs 120k.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t regret it but as someone who grew up poor I wish I’d had more knowledge. I didn’t even know a profession like consulting existed until I was an undergraduate student. Turns out there are lots of lucrative careers beyond just doctors and lawyers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Endure a STEM major? I loved studying my STEM major. The classes were fascinating and so much fun.

I don't regret picking a high paying career. We're early 40s and have enough saved that i could retire if I wanted to do so. That provides a lot of career freedom.

Only a certain kind of person would love a STEM major. You found a skill that you loved and were good at. I can’t imagine pushing a child who isn’t a STEM fan to do it for the money.

Anonymous wrote:Endure a STEM major? I loved studying my STEM major. The classes were fascinating and so much fun.

I don't regret picking a high paying career. We're early 40s and have enough saved that i could retire if I wanted to do so. That provides a lot of career freedom.