Anonymous wrote:I think that once you’re in the retirement home men can have the upper hand in dating. Because of women’s longer lifespan, there’s usually a shortage of men. Guys who are still able to walk on their own, known as “walkers” seem to do very well.

This was one reason my mother refused to move into one. Who needs competition from a bunch of merry widows in your 80s?

Anonymous wrote:I am 6'1" and make high six figures and and next year low 7. I attended a Top 10 school. I am in my early 40s and live in a HCOL area. I need to lose 30lbs and am not conventionally attractive.

This profile is attractive to women? Smart, funny, beautiful women? Or just women? What age ranges?

If you're single, have no kids, and have lost the extra 30 lbs, you should have no problem finding all kinds of women to date including smart, funny and beautiful women. I think the bar for physical attraction for someone who is smart and a high earner is athletic/fit and good hygiene - a big nose, receding hairline, or wrinkles shouldn't hold you back.

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Anonymous wrote:Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

In my experience lots of “nice” guys who complain about being single think they deserve the beautiful princess and have their own unreasonable standards.

And women don't?

I am responding to the comment that nice guys finish last. Did you post an analogous one for women?

Anonymous wrote:Women have the upper hand until their 30s. Men after that.

100%

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Anonymous wrote:Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

In my experience lots of “nice” guys who complain about being single think they deserve the beautiful princess and have their own unreasonable standards.

And women don't?

Anonymous wrote:Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

In my experience lots of “nice” guys who complain about being single think they deserve the beautiful princess and have their own unreasonable standards.

I am 6'1" and make high six figures and and next year low 7. I attended a Top 10 school. I am in my early 40s and live in a HCOL area. I need to lose 30lbs and am not conventionally attractive.

This profile is attractive to women? Smart, funny, beautiful women? Or just women? What age ranges?

Women have the upper hand until their 30s. Men after that.

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Anonymous wrote:At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market? It seems to me that when women want to date there is no shortage of men for them. Men can't say the same thing. So at what point do men have the upper hand? Perhaps it's never

It’s not when but what percentage of men. The top 1% of men have the upper hand(supply exceeding demand). These men have more options vs the top 1% of woman. This goes for all age groups.

A male friend who I would consider in that category- about 6’2”, fit, top Ivy MBA, worked at big consultant firm, fashionable, travels, great personality, etc. Now at 35 has a small company making about 2 million a year working 3 days a week. He is constantly getting marriage proposals from women.


Once you go below the top 25% of men they get no attention. A lot of those guys have given up by 30.

The top 1% of men have more options if they want to date the bottom 99% of women, and some do. But for marriage, people often seek their level, especially Type A high achievers. They usually have no tolerance for mediocracy.

Anonymous wrote:At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market? It seems to me that when women want to date there is no shortage of men for them. Men can't say the same thing. So at what point do men have the upper hand? Perhaps it's never

It’s not when but what percentage of men. The top 1% of men have the upper hand(supply exceeding demand). These men have more options vs the top 1% of woman. This goes for all age groups.

A male friend who I would consider in that category- about 6’2”, fit, top Ivy MBA, worked at big consultant firm, fashionable, travels, great personality, etc. Now at 35 has a small company making about 2 million a year working 3 days a week. He is constantly getting marriage proposals from women.


Once you go below the top 25% of men they get no attention. A lot of those guys have given up by 30.

Nah, that's just reality. The oldest, saggiest, crustiest, skankiest, messiest, stupidest woman will still have near-zero trouble catching a dick.

Men are disgustingly easy, most of y'all are desperate, and it really doesn't take much to land a man.

This is easily the most misunderstood concept on DCUM, and the misconception turns on how you define the word "dating".

The PP is correct in that an unattractive woman has "near-zero trouble catching a dick" when you define dating has focused on ONS, NSA hookups, etc. As long as the women in these circumstances understand that their interaction with the man most likely ends when the night is over, everything is fine. The problems start when the woman thinks the ONS is a step toward a relationship (or even just another date), and the man has no interest in seeing her again.

However, suppose dating is defined as the potential beginning of the courtship process (i.e., a process leading to marriage or a long-term relationship). In that case, the rules change in that the more desirable the woman, the more a man will work to pursue her, and the more options the woman has in terms of the number of men trying to pursue her.

Therefore, when I read a man on DCUM posting "I date dozens of women" or women posting "dozens of men are after me", I believe they are talking about the first case above (even if they do not know it).

In the second, and more valuable case, I believe that men have more to offer after 30 (in terms of long-term mate potential, etc.) and thus have slightly more "the upper hand" than women of the same age. If neither the man nor the woman is interested in a relationship, then the second case does not matter.

Anonymous wrote:Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

I’ve seen this with a couple friends, too. But now they’re paranoid (not without good reason) that the interest they now receive is due to their money, so as soon as they get serious, they freak out and self-sabotage the relationship.

It’s a mess. They have money, but no trust. Hoping that they meet similarly situated partners, but that’s a thin needle to thread.

Meh, as the old hack goes, nice guys finish last. I saw it with my brother and his friends. Couple of them were very good looking, and very nice. Couple of them are wealthy today in middle age. When they were young and nice, the women weren't interested.

As soon as income crosses over 800k the options open exponentially.

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Anonymous wrote:I think women have more confidence in their look. A woman can be 60 all her butt gone boobs gone thin hair and all and she still thinks she is as attractive as a 25 years old woman. I am impressed by that confidence.

That’s not confidence, that’s delusion

Nah, that's just reality. The oldest, saggiest, crustiest, skankiest, messiest, stupidest woman will still have near-zero trouble catching a dick.

Men are disgustingly easy, most of y'all are desperate, and it really doesn't take much to land a man.

They are desperate for sex and a woman to take care of them. They are not desperate for a mutually respectful and equal partnership, which is what most women want.

Most women are aware that most men don't have what it takes to have a truly mutual/equal partnership. A man who actually did would have the upper hand (someone hinted at this upthread) but he's a unicorn. Nearly all men are faking, sometimes a LOT, in order to manipulate a woman into bed. Thus, women have the upper hand, assuming they're aware of that and don't fall for the BS.