Anonymous wrote:I am not a troll. I’m the parent of a HS sophomore who is killing themselves excelling in school and participating in extracurriculars to be competitive for T20.

At the same time, I see parents on here posting how their kid went to Cornell and ended up in the same place as someone who went to Pitt or another similarly ranked school.

At the same time, in my job I work alongside people who have gone to ivies and schools I’ve never heard of. I went to Michigan, btw.

My sister did her undergraduate at Oxford, stayed in the UK and is now partner at a well respected consulting firm alongside other partners that went to no name schools from India.

So seeing the stress my kid goes through, I am honestly asking what is the point of a Yale or Princeton if they take you to the same place that a school like Rutgers and Radford can take you?!

In one of those people. I came from a pretty lower middle class rural background, so did only so-so in my Ivy and had NO idea how to manage my career. I thought making $60k was KILLING IT because it was more than my parents had ever made.

I’ll say it was an amazing experience going there, they gave great aid, and I know it opens doors to this day (in my 50s). But I certainly did not take advantage of it well and could easily have the career I have with my rural state flagship.

Also, Michigan is a highly regarded school, especially in engineering it would rank higher than Ivys.

I don’t think it’s worth it. We look for best fit. My sibling did all ivy for college and grad school and my spouse went to a school no one has heard of and they make more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people who attend lower-ranked schools worked very hard to get there. Maybe it’s time to get rid of the unspoken assumption that kids at lower-ranked colleges haven’t worked as hard to get there and don’t work as hard once they’re there. There are lazy, aimless, messed-up kids at Ivies and there are hardworking students at less prestigious colleges who work hard and have a real sense of purpose. (No, this isn’t come from - place of defensiveness/sour grapes- I don’t have a dog in this fight).

Some people are very hard workers because they are not as smart, not true for everyone, but true for some. For example, I can work hard to be an NBA player - I can work my ass off - maybe I'm a great basketball player - but I'm only 5'4".

Then you find another route to your dreams or revise your dream. The point was that there are smart driven people everywhere- not just at the top colleges.

If your kid is killing themselves, it may not be worth it. Why torture yourself through high school and college?

On the other hand, if they love the academic challenge and aspire to be with others of a similar intellect and those who are also highly ambitious, the college environment and classes of Yale or Princeton will be significantly more stimulating than at an average school. The classes will be more rigorous and interesting. The goals of those around you and the access to opportunities will be different. Your access to top-tier graduate schools will be different. Your immediate access to prestige-conscious jobs will be different.

But, there are ways it won’t be different. For whatever job you land, your salary will be the same as others in that role. If you return to a hometown with few high-level, high-compensation opportunities, you may not experience career results better than local graduates. If you don’t care about prestige careers or graduate school, much of the cache of top schools will be wasted. In this case, you’ve primarily gained an amazing, eye-opening life experience that will last a lifetime, but will also make you feel a bit odd in an average town.

In sum, you’ll always have the experience, but most who attend such schools are smart AND ambitious. For the ambitious, the school credentials fast-track them to better career and graduate schools opportunities. It’s not that kids from other schools can’t get to the same place as kids from prestigious colleges, but it may take longer (smart and ambitious kids go to a variety of schools).

Anonymous wrote:If you go to the ER you will see car crash survivors who wore a seat belt and, also, some who did not. Does it matter whether you wear a seat belt if you end up in the same place?

Not a good analogy. You can end up with the ER with permanent life-threatening injuries, or ones that are serious but fully recoverable. Wearing seat belts has a causal effect on the relatively likelihood of each.,

It’s the journey not the destination.

Anonymous wrote:I am not a troll. I’m the parent of a HS sophomore who is killing themselves excelling in school and participating in extracurriculars to be competitive for T20.

At the same time, I see parents on here posting how their kid went to Cornell and ended up in the same place as someone who went to Pitt or another similarly ranked school.

At the same time, in my job I work alongside people who have gone to ivies and schools I’ve never heard of. I went to Michigan, btw.

My sister did her undergraduate at Oxford, stayed in the UK and is now partner at a well respected consulting firm alongside other partners that went to no name schools from India.

So seeing the stress my kid goes through, I am honestly asking what is the point of a Yale or Princeton if they take you to the same place that a school like Rutgers and Radford can take you?!

There are 4,000+ colleges. Of course there will be different work outcomes. Just worry about your own kid. Yeah, sendvhim/her to Radford.

Anonymous wrote:People here are obsessed with prestige but there are many, many paths to success.

I'd put it a bit differently...success is not a monolithic destination, and each one has many potential paths to it.

I struggled after high school and transferred around a bit. I attended 4 colleges/universities - SEC flagship university, small northeastern LAC, midsized respected state college, midsized southeastern LAC. I also dated someone at Dartmouth for a couple of years and spent their sophomore summer with them in Hanover. I feel I have a relatively unique perspective for making comparisons.

I think there are two “points” to going to a top school: the experience, and the connections. They’re not better or worse, what’s available is just different.

Anonymous wrote:Many people who attend lower-ranked schools worked very hard to get there. Maybe it’s time to get rid of the unspoken assumption that kids at lower-ranked colleges haven’t worked as hard to get there and don’t work as hard once they’re there. There are lazy, aimless, messed-up kids at Ivies and there are hardworking students at less prestigious colleges who work hard and have a real sense of purpose. (No, this isn’t come from - place of defensiveness/sour grapes- I don’t have a dog in this fight).

Some people are very hard workers because they are not as smart, not true for everyone, but true for some. For example, I can work hard to be an NBA player - I can work my ass off - maybe I'm a great basketball player - but I'm only 5'4".

If your DC is an intellectual, they will be their happier best self among other intellectuals.
I was an intellectual 17 y.o. and was miserable at third-rate U, where I was surrounded by drunks who were obsessed with the basketball game. Then I went to law school, found my people, and was in bliss.

Anonymous wrote:Your alumni network is different. Your potential pool of SOs/life partners is different. Your enjoyment of the learning may be different.

I never understand this comment. The median age for college educated people to get married these days is 30 (and even higher among those with advanced degrees). The odds these days that you are meeting a life partner in college are low.

Anonymous wrote:If you go to the ER you will see car crash survivors who wore a seat belt and, also, some who did not. Does it matter whether you wear a seat belt if you end up in the same place?

OP, I know you’re sensitive, and all due respect, but you come across as dim and it has nothing to do with your academic history.

Honestly I didn’t used to wear a seat belt in cars that would let you because, think about it this way, you could die either way. So I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove with this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a troll. I’m the parent of a HS sophomore who is killing themselves excelling in school and participating in extracurriculars to be competitive for T20.

At the same time, I see parents on here posting how their kid went to Cornell and ended up in the same place as someone who went to Pitt or another similarly ranked school.

At the same time, in my job I work alongside people who have gone to ivies and schools I’ve never heard of. I went to Michigan, btw.

My sister did her undergraduate at Oxford, stayed in the UK and is now partner at a well respected consulting firm alongside other partners that went to no name schools from India.

So seeing the stress my kid goes through, I am honestly asking what is the point of a Yale or Princeton if they take you to the same place that a school like Rutgers and Radford can take you?!

No offense, you’re exposing how small-minded and dumb you are coming from 50,000-student degree mill Michigan. You don’t realize you’re “working with” a handful of Ivy alums who were probably in the bottom of their classes. You also apparently don’t realize what a truly powerful tightknit alumni network and dating pool are. To be clear, a powerful alum network is not “our degree mill alumni network is so big there are grads everywhere!” But I know that’s what your kind thinks.

Not PP but this comment reads like it was written by a current student. So much immaturity and ignorance packed into one comment, it would be embarrassing if anyone over 30 wrote it.

This is the most depressing question about college choice I have seen directly articulated here in quite some time.