Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:58
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
I like my job. I wish I could cut it down to about 60% though.
I was a SAHM too for many years. Sometimes I wish I had worked first and then stayed home because I like the older years for my kids much more. But the closeness was gained through the time spent when they were younger.
I am grateful to work and have a job I like that pays enough because I am now divorced. I am an idealist though and feel what I do makes a difference. I'm sure I'd be over it otherwise.
I was a SAHM too for many years. Sometimes I wish I had worked first and then stayed home because I like the older years for my kids much more. But the closeness was gained through the time spent when they were younger.
I am grateful to work and have a job I like that pays enough because I am now divorced. I am an idealist though and feel what I do makes a difference. I'm sure I'd be over it otherwise.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:42
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
Haha, this is not true.
Obviously it’s not literal. But it is a call to make your own meaning, entertainment, purpose, etc. rather than waiting around for someone else to do it for you.
In that case I agree with you. Boredom is important because it spurs us on to reflection, action, creativity.
In my previous response I had read your post through the lens of an old in-law encounter, where he was weirdly bragging that he "had never been bored," as if that was a sort of virtue instead of an indicator of a dull mind.
Oh, and my apologies for the eyeroll.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:41
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
Haha, this is not true.
Obviously it’s not literal. But it is a call to make your own meaning, entertainment, purpose, etc. rather than waiting around for someone else to do it for you.
In that case I agree with you. Boredom is important because it spurs us on to reflection, action, creativity.
In my previous response I had read your post through the lens of an old in-law encounter, where he was weirdly bragging that he "had never been bored," as if that was a sort of virtue instead of an indicator of a dull mind.
Haha, no I meant it as you said in your first paragraph. That’s how I mean it when I say it to my kids. It mainly means “well then figure out something to do” in that case.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:38
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
Haha, this is not true.
Obviously it’s not literal. But it is a call to make your own meaning, entertainment, purpose, etc. rather than waiting around for someone else to do it for you.
In that case I agree with you. Boredom is important because it spurs us on to reflection, action, creativity.
In my previous response I had read your post through the lens of an old in-law encounter, where he was weirdly bragging that he "had never been bored," as if that was a sort of virtue instead of an indicator of a dull mind.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:23
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
I’m sure you are. It’s not boredom, though. I just like working. There’s nothing wrong with that. I worked with nice, smart people.
Liking your work (congrats) has absolutely nothing to do with your implication that people who don’t like work and feel like there are better things they could be doing with their time are wrong. Perhaps I misinterpreted the point of your previous post?
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:22
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
I felt that way at 40. I’m early 60’s, retired and my health issues have started. Same for my siblings. My spouse died before they could retire. Everything seems backwards.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:21
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
Haha, this is not true.
Obviously it’s not literal. But it is a call to make your own meaning, entertainment, purpose, etc. rather than waiting around for someone else to do it for you.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 19:17
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
Are you speaking from experience or just speculating? Because I'm retired and don't miss structure. So many people are afraid of retirement and worry they will be bored or they have stories of people who go back to work because they had nothing to do, blah blah. I heard all of them as I prepared to leave. I'm sure it's true that many people have a hard time but many people love retirement. If you have the means, you should retire as early as you can. My health was starting to suffer and I had enough money. Some people fear not having enough money or fear boredom. Know yourself and what you want. It does take adjustment but I do not miss one thing about my job or career.
In the meantime, I would take time off and get away as often as you can. That can break up the monotony, even if it's just a staycation or occasional mental health day.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:57
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Just baffled why everyone thinks SAHMs are absurd when we all know 99% of jobs are meaningless.
Including your husband’s.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:51
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
I’m sure you are. It’s not boredom, though. I just like working. There’s nothing wrong with that. I worked with nice, smart people.
I’m hoping that’s what I get with a new job. I’m starting a new one and I really want them to be a bunch of nice, smart people. I don’t mind the analysis part of my job at all. It’s all the stuff around it that I don’t like.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:45
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Yep, normal. 44 here. By now we've realized that it's all bullshit. All the things that truly matter in life are not at work.
Yep. Gotta keep playing the game though.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:26
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I don't either, even after the grueling training of my profession (medicine). I'm not bitter about my path - grateful that it was there to offer me the chance to excel at something I liked and make a great life for myself and my family. Not everyone gets that. I would rather be me than the person whose only option was to flip burgers. Or the person who hated work from the very beginning and has been FIRE since 22. That's real pain - to have to spend 40 years doing something you hate because you never found a passion.
I'm now in it for the financial stability and the role modeling to my children. I'll retire around 55/60 and enjoy the hobbies I started in the last few years. But I'm definitely not one of those "work is $tuPiD" people. People were made to work - even a 1,000 years ago, grandpa contributed to the farm until he died. But I've gotten far enough along that I can put work in a specific box.
Work itself isn’t stupid. But trading 50+ hours per week and not seeing your kids, damaging your health, etc for money is insane. You spend your prime years getting other people rich in exchange for nothing. Some fleeting thought that your mortgage or that one trip to Paris really does make you happy. True work is good. Making something useful, helping people, building community, THAT is real work that humans were made for.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:25
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Trouble is, when you’re in your late 40s and suddenly find yourself out of a job, you might really miss the structure and (albeit tiny) sense of purpose it provided.
LOL I have so many other things I could do
Have you ever really had an unending span of time in front of you to do them, though? Things look a little different when you finally get there.
As we tell our kids: only boring people get bored. I’m truly sorry that you require a boss to tell you how to spend your time, and a job in order to feel useful.
I’m sure you are. It’s not boredom, though. I just like working. There’s nothing wrong with that. I worked with nice, smart people.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:24
Subject: Re:I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The only meaningful work I ever did was in humanitarian assistance. I loved it. Got laid off as a result of the 08 financial crisis (albeit several years later.) I figured I'd change sectors, stay home while my kids were growing up, and then go back. Ideally as CD somewhere I'd worked before. And then USAID got DOGE'd and now I'm staring down the barrel of a soulless professional future. I used to do well knowing that once my kids were launched I'd return to the profession I belonged in. Now I have nothing to motivate me.
You can do humanitarian assistance in the US. Plenty of people need help.
Yeah but I need to get paid. Domestic always paid a fraction of IHA (which required language and cultural skills I have and loved exercising) and now even a lot of that funding is gone.
Anonymous
06/02/2025 18:20
Subject: I am 45 and do not care about work any longer.
Just baffled why everyone thinks SAHMs are absurd when we all know 99% of jobs are meaningless.