Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfume is not only outdated, it instantly brands the wearer as completely clueless. Only tweens and old ladies wear perfume.

I'm neither and I am not giving up my perfume. Call me any name you like, the perfume stays.

Lynne, it’s fine. Do what you want.

I snort laughed.

Me too! Also I hate perfume, especially in an office setting or anywhere that food or wine is served.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

Anyone who talks about the class level of others is by definition low class.

…said the insecure woman who wasn’t raised to understand the unwritten rules embraced by classy people who run the world.

You poor thing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfume is not only outdated, it instantly brands the wearer as completely clueless. Only tweens and old ladies wear perfume.

I'm neither and I am not giving up my perfume. Call me any name you like, the perfume stays.

It has made a comeback and I am so happy!

For most of society, rules don't apply and have no bearing on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised this has continued:

Don't wear the same formal dress more than once, unless you wear it to an event with completely different people. (I imagine this is hard nowadays with social media showing everyone what you have worn.)

This was a rule I followed as a teen/20s, and my teen daughter follows it too.

Royals from many different nations make a point to not follow this rule.Re-wear is a major movement among celebrities, too. It is far more chic to be eco-conscious than to be a hyperconsumer.

This is virtue-signaling in an attempt to ameliorate the fact of their existence in societies that claim to be democratic.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the old rich ladies have ruined this thread.

OP, I am American of South Asian ancestry. I wear far more diamonds than these ladies can even imagine. I don't understand why wealthy white ladies feel like they should hoard their jewelry instead of wearing it. So dumb!! If you own it, you should wear it, no rules!!

Happy to not be white so I don't have to follow your stupid white people rules!!!!

Interesting take - I’m UC Japanese and pretty much all of these apply back home. There are a few additional things like pretty much never showing your toes or knees. Also in certain settings you don’t wear rings because ceramics are so important in our culture and pervasive, and any metal knocking on them could hit an air pocket and damage them. If you happened to be wearing a ring and found yourself in a setting where you’re handling ceramics (which just somehow happens all the time), you would remove it first, even if it’s your wedding ring.

Big differences:
Pierced ears are trashy and uncivilized.
Dyeing your hair to cover your grays is acceptable forever.
Light daily makeup is okay.
Tighter palette of “acceptable” colors to wear, especially as you get older (boring!!)
Evoking the season is very important culturally, so there’s a smaller range of what is acceptable as “seasonless” in a wardrobe. Things like the weight of the wool crepe matter.
The decades-old, scruffy, mended wool sweater is not for going out in public, unless it’s the barn.
A 1 ct diamond engagement ring that is worn all the time is borderline tacky for being too big, but it’s totally okay to have an enormous and super expensive engagement ring that you never wear.
Pantyhose is alive and well. For the PP talking about swampiness vis-a-via hose-wearing…knee-highs are a very popular choice in JP.
For older people, denim is still an expression of rebellion a little bit!
My mother seems to think pearls are for evening or funerals but that might just be her.

A lot of the above is not class-specific. There are tons of other cultural rules like how bags and shoes for a funeral should always be cloth only and never leather, bc leather is too in-your-face “dead animal” and therefore inappropriate.

I think fewer people here are really looking at me and making any assessments about my background as the self-proclaimed WASPy PP above says (“what hospital” is also a question in Tokyo lol!). Sometimes people seem to see “Asian” first and whatever their own associations are that come along with that, which may not have a lot to do with me. So I go ahead and indulge a little bit, because it doesn’t really matter. Right now I have a bigger mixed metal ring that is part of my daily jewelry (although I’d still never wear it on my middle finger!). I have some suede flats that I wear at the wrong time so I don’t have to replace my other ones. I wear bright colors when they make me feel happy. I have a small diamond solitaire necklace that I sometimes wear during the day because it helps me feel put together. Tennis shoes are fine when running around after my toddler, regardless of what else I’m wearing.

I break most if not all the rules in occasion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full disclosure, I'm a WASP from Chevy Chase and I grew up with a lot of fashion and etiquette rules that the rest of the country had dropped at least a generation before. Even now, if I showed up wearing a white dress to lunch with my 80 year old father in, say, October there is a 100% chance he'd make a comment about it. I still follow a lot of these rules for my own personal style, but I have lots of friends who dress totally differently and I love that for them. I'm 42 and a stay at home mom.

-I love black tights and wear them all the time in fall/winter. I also like colored tights sometimes. I do actually wear pantyhose but only to church when it's chilly outside, like today. Most people at my church are over 60 anyway.

-I don't wear diamond jewelry in general. I prefer solid gold pieces.

-I don't mix metals. All gold (usually) or all silver tone. This includes handbag hardware. If I'm wearing colored pieces then they should coordinate with the rest of the outfit. For nicer occasions I'd also make sure my nails coordinate.

-Nails are short and should be polished only in light pinks, nudes, coral, red, or burgundy. I might do fuchsia for vacation. No brightly colored eyeshadow or flashy makeup. My grandmother is long dead but she strongly disapproved of red or burgundy lips or nails.

-I don't wear white after Labor Day. I do wear winter white frequently but winter white is a different color than true white.

-I don't mix brown and black. To be fair, I rarely wear brown anything.

-Foundation garments are crucial to looking put together. I wouldn't leave the house without a proper bra and I am evangelical about proper bra fitting. No visible bra straps or lace peeking through a thin shirt. No VPL. Slipshorts are great for under dresses to prevent VPL and for modesty if there is a sudden gust of wind.

-Sneakers should be worn for athletic activity or with athletic clothes. Skirts and dresses should be paired with a proper shoe or a sandal in the summer or spring. Sandals require pedicured toes so I don't wear them very often.

-I don't care about having styled hair. My hair is straight and I don't think it makes much of a difference if I blow dry it or air dry it. I don't dye it but I probably will when I start getting gray hairs.

-Synthetic sweaters are yuck. Real wool (merino, cashmere, etc) only. I would not wear fake leather shoes or bags. Of course cloth or woven shoes and bags are fine.

Writing this has kind of made me realize I might need some therapy.

Fellow WASP here, I am with you on most of these.

NP. WASP (55) raised by a Silent Gen military protocol officer and a Southern Belle - so double whammy of strict adherence to proper dress and etiquette. I agree with all above and will add:

- tuxedos are improper for weddings that take place before 6 p.m. (My late father insisted that for my own noon wedding that the men wear
rented morning suits)

- strapless wedding gowns are improper for a church wedding.

- absolutely no cleavage should be shown in women’s professional clothing. (This is tough for me as I’m voluptuous and have to get professionally fitted bras, have tanks and camisoles to conceal)

- rules of scale should be followed based upon your height and frame.

Irish Catholic and yes to all of the above.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

Anyone who talks about the class level of others is by definition low class.

…said the insecure woman who wasn’t raised to understand the unwritten rules embraced by classy people who run the world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfume is not only outdated, it instantly brands the wearer as completely clueless. Only tweens and old ladies wear perfume.

I'm neither and I am not giving up my perfume. Call me any name you like, the perfume stays.

Lynne, it’s fine. Do what you want.

I snort laughed.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

Anyone who talks about the class level of others is by definition low class.

Pantyhose equals a stinky crotch. Which is always out of class. Sorry waspy ladies, but there's nothing high class or good etiquette about that disgusting unhygienic mess.

PS nothing misogynistic about this comment, because i'm advocating for the natural approach, and not some bizarre synthetic, man-made vagina trap.

Everyone who says pantyhose are dead must not have been raised by a mother with class. Full stop.

ICYMI: certain outfits, occasions, and weather require your legs to be covered…and tights aren’t appropriate for certain outfits/settings.

Plus, I guarantee most men prefer seeing a woman in high end silky hosiery at dressy events.

In terms of other rules I follow: no bare shoulders in church. Ever. And no jeans in church.

I don't mix metals including hardware on my accessories.

I don't really wear diamonds during the day except my wedding band.

I don't wear white after Labor Day.

I don't wear yoga pants/athletic clothing unless I am actually exercising. Civil people everywhere should revolt against athleisure.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the old rich ladies have ruined this thread.

OP, I am American of South Asian ancestry. I wear far more diamonds than these ladies can even imagine. I don't understand why wealthy white ladies feel like they should hoard their jewelry instead of wearing it. So dumb!! If you own it, you should wear it, no rules!!

Happy to not be white so I don't have to follow your stupid white people rules!!!!

White ethnic from Brooklyn here and I bet your people have nothing on my people as far as proudly wearing what they own 😂