Tutoring is actually a great idea, OP! Anothr poster mentioned it, and as a college student, they could get better rates than a high schooler. They need to advertise to their friends' younger siblings, and their friends, maybe post on their old school listserve if you or they still have access to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cut the internet. No car or phone unless they pay for it if they have no job.

+1 Why do they need a car if they aren't working or going to PT? I would take the car away.

At minimum, they should be going to PT to get better for the physical injury.

...because the child is a step-child or an orphan? Why would the parents not support the kid when their kid is struggling. I am not saying that you do not have to be firm with him, but, yes, you do have to walk the walk with your child.

Pick any youtube 20-minute gentle chair yoga or breathing exercise (pranayam) program and do it with your kid. Every. Single. Day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid can reach out to a favorite professor at their university and offer to do a research project. It's less structured than a job so can work around mono recovery and PT, but will be something to talk about next year in job interviews and can go on a resume. It would be great if they can get something published.

+1
Great ideas. Think outside of the box. Nowadays, even with platforms like youtube and github etc, students can showcase their expertise in a number of areas by using these platforms. Even just blogging about it or writing an article can do wonders to their resume and self-confidence.

He should also clean up his digital footprint, as well as create LinkedIn profile, resume etc, if he has not done so already.

Being ill or recovering from illness is tough. But, they still have to show some progress regardless. Maybe utilize this time to schedule all his medical appointments and booster shots. Eye exam, dental cleaning, derm appointment, vitamin levels, lab tests etc

Furthermore, he must make his good health a priority. Which means that he needs to show some improvement in his sleep cycle. Ask him to wake up 15 minutes early each day, and not nap during the day for more than 30 minutes. Parents must enforce it. If you can enforce the wake up time, the sleep-by time improves automatically.

Teach him some cooking skills as well some tips and tricks to incorporate fresh veggies and fruits, heart healthy nuts and seeds, probiotics in his meals. Even if he is only eating dining hall meals, he should know how to creatively add healthy ingredients in his meals.

He’s 18, if OP never taught him to cook then she totally failed at parenting.

Anonymous wrote:Kid can reach out to a favorite professor at their university and offer to do a research project. It's less structured than a job so can work around mono recovery and PT, but will be something to talk about next year in job interviews and can go on a resume. It would be great if they can get something published.

+1
Great ideas. Think outside of the box. Nowadays, even with platforms like youtube and github etc, students can showcase their expertise in a number of areas by using these platforms. Even just blogging about it or writing an article can do wonders to their resume and self-confidence.

He should also clean up his digital footprint, as well as create LinkedIn profile, resume etc, if he has not done so already.

Being ill or recovering from illness is tough. But, they still have to show some progress regardless. Maybe utilize this time to schedule all his medical appointments and booster shots. Eye exam, dental cleaning, derm appointment, vitamin levels, lab tests etc

Furthermore, he must make his good health a priority. Which means that he needs to show some improvement in his sleep cycle. Ask him to wake up 15 minutes early each day, and not nap during the day for more than 30 minutes. Parents must enforce it. If you can enforce the wake up time, the sleep-by time improves automatically.

Teach him some cooking skills as well some tips and tricks to incorporate fresh veggies and fruits, heart healthy nuts and seeds, probiotics in his meals. Even if he is only eating dining hall meals, he should know how to creatively add healthy ingredients in his meals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid can reach out to a favorite professor at their university and offer to do a research project. It's less structured than a job so can work around mono recovery and PT, but will be something to talk about next year in job interviews and can go on a resume. It would be great if they can get something published.

No professor wants to take on a sick freshman and give them work to get published. That’s absurd.

A physical injury may make it hard to work a normal, active summer job, but has no impact at all on his ability to do research. His recovery from mono also isn't full time at this point--he can absolutely work part time for a professor. So the sick stuff isn't relevant.

He needs to sell himself, but there are absolutely professors who are happy for free research help, especially if he's willing to continue working into the school year.

OP, someday you are going to have some sort of medical situation where it takes you longer to recover than most other people. You will remember how appalled you were by your kid and have a moment of empathy where you realize just how miserable your kid must have been with mono and an injury.

It is fine if you want to talk to your kid about what they can do during their waking hours and even push them a bit for an earlier bedtime and PT exercises. You can also talk to them about how they will need to cut back on expenses since they are not earning money. But acting like they are some sort of lazy POS in a difficult time seems totally unreasonable to me.

Anonymous wrote:Cut the internet. No car or phone unless they pay for it if they have no job.

+1 Why do they need a car if they aren't working or going to PT? I would take the car away.

At minimum, they should be going to PT to get better for the physical injury.

We made this mistake last summer with our college freshman. We thought he would be motivated on his own to find a job or get up and moving every day.

Nope.
You need to set expectations early and make them clear. Why get up before noon when you have nothing to do? I l'm a night owl and that is my schedule on vacation. She's living the life.

Mono is very tough to come back from. 5-6 weeks is not enough for the fatigue to resolve. I would look into volunteering or set some rules about chores (cleaning the kitchen, shuttling younger siblings around). My son is home and volunteering at an animal shelter because he's a small animal science major in college. He found that spot back in march when we were laying the groundwork for what we expected over the summer.
I would let her heal and recover and set expectations for next summer. Summer jobs need to be secured around spring break.

Anonymous wrote:Kid can reach out to a favorite professor at their university and offer to do a research project. It's less structured than a job so can work around mono recovery and PT, but will be something to talk about next year in job interviews and can go on a resume. It would be great if they can get something published.

No professor wants to take on a sick freshman and give them work to get published. That’s absurd.

Kid can reach out to a favorite professor at their university and offer to do a research project. It's less structured than a job so can work around mono recovery and PT, but will be something to talk about next year in job interviews and can go on a resume. It would be great if they can get something published.

First of all, the sleep schedule changes today. The vampire hours are not conducive to his mental health. Turn off the WiFi if necessary. Since they have all this time, starts doling out the chores from cleaning to shopping to cooking. All of it is unpaid because you are housing and feeding them. I would give them a daily list that you can verify.

Your kid can Doordash....super easy.

My DC got mono freshman year 2nd semester as well and was exhausted for weeks. By the time he came home he was pale and sickly looking, and depressed. He's also a kid who likes to stay up most of the night and sleep late (which drives me crazy and did not contribute to improving his mental health).

In your shoes I'd have a meeting and make a plan with him. What are his plans for himself? What would you like to see from him? Where's overlaps and where's the divide? Insist on PT, he can pull that off with mono, and some basic chores (unpaid). Maybe set the goal of adding gig work in the afternoon/evening as his health allows. If he can walk/drive, picking up some DoorDash runs should be fairly easy. I've known other college kids who do that over breaks.

How about volunteering?