Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 19:52     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP - I burst out laughing because this is exactly how my 12 year old is. Down to the we have to leave at a certain time or I get yelled at. She also says I drive too slow and says I could have made the light - when it clearly turned red before I even got to it. I have threatened she takes the bus in the am bc me driving her is a privilege. I have taken away screens as well when she’s especially rude. I try to stay calm but it’s hard.


I’m surprised you’re still driving her if there is an option for a bus!!! Waste of gas, waste of your time, and she is being rude to you to boot.


It’s more of a punishment to me if she takes the bus as I would have to walk her to the stop which is a bit far and the bus leaves a lot earlier which means I’d have to get up earlier. No thanks.


Why would you walk her to the bus stop at 14? She sounds exactly like my 14 yo every morning. I turn on the radio and ignore her. I tell her the other option is to take the bus. So far, she continues to ride with me and I ignore the crabbiness. We leave at 7. Her bus would come at 6:30. I would not walk her to the bus stop if she took the bus instead of my ride. I truly ignore the nastiness that comes out of her mouth and remember how I was at that age and how I didn’t become a morning person until I was an adult.


I’m not the OP and my daughter whom I drive but could take the bus is only 12. I’m not comfortable with her going to the bus stop without me as she would have to cross a road that cars notoriously speed on to get to it. I want to see that she gets on the bus too. YMMV.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 19:44     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
If you’re driving her to school and she’s being rude, you could try going past the intersection you’re concerned about but then stopping two blocks before the school and saying that you don’t drive rude kids all the way to school and she needs to get out of the car here and walk the rest of the way. Maybe that would be enough of a consequence to get her to modify her attitude during future drives to school.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 16:28     Subject: Re:Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Sleep

Sleep

Sleep

No one is getting enough sleep. Especially kids.

https://drlisadamour.com/resource/teens-and-sleep-with-journalist-author-lisa-l-lewis/
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 16:25     Subject: Re:Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Starts the night before. She has to be in her room with no devices at a certain time so she can sleep.

When you wake her, give her a gentle reminder to be pleasant even when tired. Remind her everyone is tired and she has to handle it.

Stop moving if at house and she is mouthy.

Pull over the car if unnecessary commentary.

She doesn’t say it to teachers.

Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 16:12     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP - I burst out laughing because this is exactly how my 12 year old is. Down to the we have to leave at a certain time or I get yelled at. She also says I drive too slow and says I could have made the light - when it clearly turned red before I even got to it. I have threatened she takes the bus in the am bc me driving her is a privilege. I have taken away screens as well when she’s especially rude. I try to stay calm but it’s hard.


I’m surprised you’re still driving her if there is an option for a bus!!! Waste of gas, waste of your time, and she is being rude to you to boot.


It’s more of a punishment to me if she takes the bus as I would have to walk her to the stop which is a bit far and the bus leaves a lot earlier which means I’d have to get up earlier. No thanks.


Why would you walk her to the bus stop at 14? She sounds exactly like my 14 yo every morning. I turn on the radio and ignore her. I tell her the other option is to take the bus. So far, she continues to ride with me and I ignore the crabbiness. We leave at 7. Her bus would come at 6:30. I would not walk her to the bus stop if she took the bus instead of my ride. I truly ignore the nastiness that comes out of her mouth and remember how I was at that age and how I didn’t become a morning person until I was an adult.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 14:28     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP - I burst out laughing because this is exactly how my 12 year old is. Down to the we have to leave at a certain time or I get yelled at. She also says I drive too slow and says I could have made the light - when it clearly turned red before I even got to it. I have threatened she takes the bus in the am bc me driving her is a privilege. I have taken away screens as well when she’s especially rude. I try to stay calm but it’s hard.


I’m surprised you’re still driving her if there is an option for a bus!!! Waste of gas, waste of your time, and she is being rude to you to boot.


It’s more of a punishment to me if she takes the bus as I would have to walk her to the stop which is a bit far and the bus leaves a lot earlier which means I’d have to get up earlier. No thanks.


Why would you have to walk her? If she’s a jerk when you drive her…
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 14:12     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP - I burst out laughing because this is exactly how my 12 year old is. Down to the we have to leave at a certain time or I get yelled at. She also says I drive too slow and says I could have made the light - when it clearly turned red before I even got to it. I have threatened she takes the bus in the am bc me driving her is a privilege. I have taken away screens as well when she’s especially rude. I try to stay calm but it’s hard.


I’m surprised you’re still driving her if there is an option for a bus!!! Waste of gas, waste of your time, and she is being rude to you to boot.


It’s more of a punishment to me if she takes the bus as I would have to walk her to the stop which is a bit far and the bus leaves a lot earlier which means I’d have to get up earlier. No thanks.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 13:09     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old is not a morning person either. We had a talk about it after school because she comes home in the afternoon with a much better disposition. I told her I will not engage you in chit chat in the am, I accept that you are not a morning person and we can sit in silence for the ride to school, but you cannot be disrespectful or yell at anyone in this house because you’re grumpy in the am. She understood (again because we discussed it during a time when she is in a better mood) and it has gotten so much better.


This is what I would do. I would NOT let her talk disrespectfully to you regularly though like you have been letting her do.

I don’t think I’d have to say anything though…my teens know when to shush it if I look at them in a certain way and lift an eyebrow. I get a “sorry mom”.


Cool story, you are really special!
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 13:09     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
I am surprised you dismissed the idea of more sleep so quickly. Not in a punishment way but in a “you seem unhappy and there is a simple fix” way. If she can, I would absolutely institute an earlier bedtime.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 13:08     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
A punishment wouldn't be for crabbiness, it would be for any disrespectful behavior that occurs. You don't punish emotions, but you do require certain behaviors. I would use whatever method you typically do for back talking or rudeness. This doesn't have anything to do with the time of day.

If you dont normally punish backtalk, then you wouldn't here either. And if you’ve made it this far in parenting without needing to punish rudeness... i cant relate so im no sure!!
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 13:00     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
I'd mention it calmly in the evening and suggest maybe she get some protein or something into her asap in the morning to see if it helps with morning moodiness. Even something by her bed to eat before getting going for the day.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 12:55     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:A “honey, don’t be rude” or “I’m driving safely, not quickly” or just ignore. She’s a teen and punishment over this would probably make her act out more.


+1

Maybe say something funny back to her, e.g. “sigh loudly one more time, I swear to God,” then roll your eyes.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 12:33     Subject: Punishment for morning crabbiness?
Anonymous wrote:Turn on the radio and drive. This is a phase. Don’t respond to her outbursts. If she says something that is truly over the line, say that’s over the line and that’s it.


This.